SAPPHO // Carrie Wilson - JATP

•Chapter 10•

JUST
2021

Carrie carefully opens her eyes - forgetting for a second what had happened the last time she was conscious. Rubbing her eyes in attempt to wake up, her vision goes blurry for a moment, until drowsily, she focuses on the flat screen tv in front of her. Love actually, was playing - which wasn't usually something that she would watch, but these days she didn't really know what her usual was anymore.

Suddenly, a few short sniffs were heard from beside her. Carrie's head snapped to the cause of the sound, and there in all his glory, was Alex Mercer, crying his eyes out to the romantic movie playing.

Carrie's heart began to thump, as she crawled away from Alex - not really knowing who he was. After a few backwards movements, Carrie ended up falling off the bed, but even after the fall, she stayed still - not daring to move in hopes that the stranger will leave her alone.

Alex was distracted by the movie, so he hadn't payed attention to Carrie - until she fell off the bed with a thump loud enough to wake up the entire neighbourhood. He wiped his tears one last time, before peeking over the side of the bed, to see if the scared girl was okay.

"Why are you on the floor?" He asked, completely baffled by the girls behaviour, after all he fixed his transparency problem - now looking like a complete human.

"Why are you on my bed?" She mustered.

"I didn't want to leave you alone when you passed out, besides I really love these kind of movies, they make me cry so much, but I love it." Alex felt no reason to lie to the girl - after all, he didn't want her to think that he was untrustworthy.

"Right."

Carrie slowly picked herself up off of the floor, still wearily eyeing Alex as she walked across the room - to grab her mace.

"So, why did Julie send you exactly?"

Her voice was shaken and it would tell anyone that she was as nervous and uncomfortable in this situation - as anyone could possibly be.

"She said you've been struggling, so she thought maybe I could help."

"Why couldn't she help?" Her voice was impatient, as her hand rummaged through her bag, trying to find the mace.

"Because she's not like us." He tried to make it as blunt as possible, without actually saying it. He knew that she must've been uncomfortable with it, if she was still very hesitant to talk about it.

"I don't think we have anything in common." She scoffed, turning her full attention to the missing mace.

"You're looking for this." Alex threw the tiny bottle of mace toward Carrie, letting her catch it, before he sits down on the bed. "We have a lot more in common then you think."

"Is that so? Please enlighten me on how we are so similar." She wasn't buying what Alex was saying, but she was interested about what the stranger could possibly have in common with her.

"Well, we both love pink." He holds up her phone that was laying on the bed, showing her sparkling pink phone case. "We both love to dance." He tries to do a disco dance, which much to Carries annoyance, actually makes her giggle. "And we're both gay."

A needle could be heard hitting the ground at that moment. Alex was too scared to say anything more, while Carrie was still shocked that he said it so carelessly.

"I'm not gay."

Although she meant to scream it, her voice came out as a whisper.

"Julie told me what happened, I know you're scared but I -"

"I'm not like you." She interrupts him, once again.

He didn't know how else to help her. If she wasn't ready to be honest with herself, how could she be honest with him?

"Okay."

She stares at him - shocked over his rather quick acceptance of what she said her truth is.

"Okay? That's all you have to say to me?"

"Am I supposed to say anything else? You said you're not like me, and obviously you know yourself better then I do, so I believe you. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

Alex gets up, and makes his way out her door. He knew deep down that walking out on her was wrong - but if she needed help, it was clear that not even she knew how badly she needed someone like Alex. He needed to pry the truth out of her as quickly as possible - so offering a solution to what could be perceived as a problem, and then taking it away in an instant, was a good idea in his mind.

"Wait!" Carrie shouts, making a smile appear on Alex's face. He slowly turns around, ready to devote all his time to help her. "You still have my phone."

His face sinks, he looks down at his hand, and sure enough, the pink covered case, is still there. He quickly hands it to her, before walking out completely - this time he had no reason to hold himself back from leaving, after all, Carrie wasn't gay.

He walks quickly down the stairs, trying to make his exit as fast as he could.

"I didn't know what I was doing." He turns around slightly, hand still firmly on the doorknob. "That night that Julie told you about, I didn't know why I did it, I still don't know. It did feel nice though."

She didn't look at him in the eye, he understood how hard it would be for her to admit it, so he expected nothing less.

"When I kissed her that night, all I could think about, was how disgusting I was. I was a freak. All my friends liked guys, and I'm sitting there day dreaming about being with Julie."

The emotions clouded Carrie's mind, as everything finally set into place. She found another piece of herself, that she didn't know about that night.

"You're not a freak. I'll be back soon."

Those were the last words that Alex spoke. While he had never been a naturally comforting person, to those in need, his simple words put Carries mind at ease, at least for a while.

Finally she had a true friend, someone who she could be herself, around.