Comebacks and insults

Comebacks and Insults #61

Joke #61

Smart comeback:

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure that the Earth revolves around the Sun and not you

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 I poured my heart to you and you reply "oh lol." Bitch, I hope you get hit by a bus so I can be like... "oh lol." -

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Friend: I'm so funny!!

Me: You know what's funny? Not you, so shut up.

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Person: What are you looking at?

Comeback: Your dad's incorrect use of a condom.

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If I toss a stick, will you go away?

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Bully: Give me your money!

Victim: I would, but I gotta pay your mom for last night.

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ANOTHER WONDERFUL PEOM: 

To person you hate in class: 

Roses are red,

shit is brown,

shut the fuck up,

and sit the fuck down. 

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Me: Know what makes me laugh hard?

Person: What? 

Me: Your life!

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I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.