Heartstrings ✓

Chapter Nineteen

hours ago

Tony

On the day of Reid's date with Mallory, Nina was standing outside my door. She didn't look upset, despite knowing that Reid was dating Mallory again. Over the past few weeks, I began to suspect that Nina liked my brother. I thought that Nina spoke to Reid under the pretence of friendship, but she wanted more.

But when I opened the door, Nina embraced me. She had no concept of boundaries, sometimes. One second, she was rejecting me. The next, she wanted affection. 

"Things aren't weird between us, right?" Nina asked me, looking up with doe eyes. 

My heart sighed when I looked at her sweet face, because Nina was my soft spot. I loved her before I loved myself. "You're my friend, Nina, first and foremost. Our friendship is my priority."

I let her into the house, and we sat in my room. Seeing Nina there felt surreal, like two separate parts of my life were binding together. Then I remembered that a few days ago, she came here to see Reid.

"So what do you want?" I asked Nina, once it became apparent that she didn't know what to say.

She sighed, looking stressed. "I need to get something off my chest to you."

That could never be good. "Okay. Is it something to do with Reid? You can tell me." I said, but I was willing her to stop talking. If it was what I thought, then I wanted no part in this conversation.

"Okay, but please don't hate me after this." Nina said, her mouth pursing at the corners. Her brow was furrowed.

I tried to ignore the fear that stemmed in me from her words. "I can't promise that."

She exhaled. "I guess I deserve that. Well, one night, I was drunk at Reid's apartment," Nina said pensively, cringing and wringing her hands. She caught sight of my expression and quickly backtracked. "I swear, Tony, I'd never have tried anything if I was sober. Reid let me sleep at his place out of kindness. I probably said enough to make him suspect my feelings."

"Your feelings." I repeated numbly. My head hurt from the stress of Nina's confession; my heartbeat thrumming loudly against my skin. She didn't notice, but I was beyond surprise at this point. I felt pure disbelief, because I didn't think that Nina would actually admit it. I did think about it, but I dismissed the idea immediately.

Nina sighed. "I like Reid. I've liked him for a long time, but things happened, and now it's the perfect time for me to tell you. Nothing happened between us that night, I swear, but I know I must have given myself away. Tried to kiss him, maybe. I don't know, but it was enough to make him avoid me."

"What happened after you went to his place?" I asked, forcing my expression into neutrality. Nina looked so downhearted, staring at the tabletop, that I was sure she didn't notice my distress. Her eyes darted to the floor as she talked. 

"Reid never mentioned it again, but we've never been alone together after that night. He probably did it for Mallory's benefit. I respected that decision." Nina's voice became desperate, entreating me to understand. "But now he doesn't remember. I can't help but think it's a chance for my redemption. I can be friends with him, free from Reid's opinions on me. I can start over."

"So you just want to be friends with my brother?" I dared to ask. Her behaviour was off ever since Reid woke up, and these so-called feelings was the only feasible conclusion. I saw how Nina looked at him sometimes, with longing desperation, and I subconsciously put the pieces together in my head.

How could I have been so stupid? Of course Nina liked my brother. But it depended on how she dealt with her feelings; that could change things, I told myself. Like it didn't already hurt enough.

"I don't know. If there's any chance that maybe, we could, I mean," Nina said doubtfully, conflict shadowing her eyes.

"And what about Mallory, your best friend? Isn't there some sort of code among girl friends? You don't date the same guy or whatever." I rolled my eyes. I was so over this.

Nina looked like she'd been hit by a bullet as she digested my words. "Listen, of course I feel bad for Mallory. But Reid doesn't remember her anymore. Maybe it's a chance at a fresh start, for all of us."

My lip curled. "You would love that, wouldn't you?"

Her expression twisted with anger. "Tony, you of all people can't judge me for what I feel. Just as I can't judge you for what you feel."

My hopes fell. I got up from my seat, unable to look at her. Nina's beautiful eyes haunted me, still, as they focused on me again. She looked utterly bewildered by my annoyance. But I'd finally had enough.

"You're being selfish. Mallory was nothing but good to you before the accident, and now you're going to do this to her? She and Reid haven't cut ties yet. Until that happens, I can't be friends with you if you're going to pursue him." I said.

Nina stared at the table again, like she wanted answers from it, rather than me. I wouldn't blame her. "Everyone used to say that Reid and Mallory were made for each other. What if they aren't?"

"They are made for each other. That's why everyone says so. They'll always find their way back to each other."

Nina shrugged carelessly. "Isn't that kind of toxic?"

I rolled my eyes. "People throw that word around too much. Not every relationship is toxic if there's issues. No one's perfect."

A perceptive, sharp smile curled Nina's mouth. "Not even Mallory?"

I stared at her. "No one calls Mallory perfect."

"Shows how much you know, Tony," Nina said, rolling her eyes. Then her expression turned earnest, serious as she leaned towards me, hungry to obtain my sympathy. "If I don't take this as an opportunity, I won't be able to forgive myself."

"So what does that justify?"

"Reid adored Mallory, I know that. I don't care if I only earn a scrap of that love from him. I want something to change in my life, and I'm done letting other people's happiness get in the way of my own."

It sounded oddly rehearsed from her, like she thought about this conversation for a long time. I realised that Nina carefully pre-meditated the past week's encounters. She never accounted for Reid's crash, obviously, but she calculated every consequence of it. In conclusion, she wanted my brother. Badly. She'd get him by any means possible.

I switched tactics. "Please, Nina. Choose anyone but him."

I wasn't purely being selfish, even though I still liked Nina. I couldn't turn my feelings off for her. I was doing this because Mallory was close to my heart. I already considered her my sister-in-law of sorts, as well as my friend. Seeing her happy with Reid soothed my heart, because I knew that she was there for him when I couldn't be. Their happiness had been snatched away, but I was sure that they could find it again.

"I'm sorry, Tony," Nina said with a certain brand of finality, staring at the table, "But I can't help who I fell for."

That did it. I saw red. I slammed a fist on the bed, making Nina jump and stare wide-eyed at me. But I didn't care anymore. I strode out of my room without another thought. It wasn't surprising to me that Nina didn't protest against it.

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