Remember Me

15. Giving In

A/N: First chapter back after months long hiatus and it's a steamy one. You've been warned ;)

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It's snowing. After the mildest winter New York's ever seen, highs nearing into the forties most days, it's freaking snowing. And Maya is delighted. Especially because starting today, she was on winter break. Our last break together really, before I officially go back to school and she starts work back up again which meant that we were going to make the most of every single second. "Look at how fluffy it is" she squeals, jumping up and down like a child. It makes me laugh.

"Love, you've seen snow before" I remind her. She did have some memories locked away up there in that pretty head of hers.

"Yea but-." She looks up at me, her grin untouchable. "I'm just excited okay?" I nod my head, leaving her with her excitement while I head into the kitchen to make us hot chocolate.

It had been over a week since our blowout fight, the one that ended with her finally telling me that she loved me and in the time since, she never stopped saying it. It was almost like we had our old lives back only we weren't trying to get pregnant...or doing anything that would allow that to even happen.

I pour warm milk into two mugs before pouring in the hot chocolate mix, grabbing them both once they're stirred and walking them over to my wife. "Here." She was still at the window marveling at the glittering white hills accumulating on our front lawn.

She takes a generous sip of her hot chocolate but staring at it oddly afterwards. I wait for her to realize my mistake. Sure, it probably wasn't the nicest way to test her memory but-. "Where's my whipped cream? I chuckle, retreating to the kitchen to grab it.

"I was seeing if your taste buds had changed" I tease, swirling a generous amount of whipped cream on top of her beverage.

"Meanie" she replies, taking another sip after I'm done and humming in delight this time. "Much better."

Since our fight, she hadn't remembered anything else and while her taste buds hadn't changed, I had a feeling that I really screwed up her progress. "Is something bothering you?" She asks, reading my facial expression. I shrug, earning me an unamused glare which'll get her exactly what she wants.

The truth. "You just...haven't remembered anything for a few days." Which didn't mean anything in terms of my feelings for her, I would still love her a year, a decade, the rest of my life, without those memories but it was hard to go from such obvious progression to a sudden, stagnant stop.

"Oh." She steps away from the window and moves towards the couch. "I uh guess you're right" she adds, setting her mug down on the coffee table. "Does that worry you?"

I sit down beside her, not leaving much space between us as I reach for her hand and set it in my lap. "Only because I blame myself." I confess, "you were doing so well and then I went and made it all about me-."

"Josh." She rubs her thumb over my hand, shaking her head. "You are the least selfish person I know. Do not go and blame yourself. The doctors said this could happen, that some things could come back while others remain lost forever." Her kind eyes linger on mine, her body scooting just a little bit closer. "No matter what though, my brain's healing has nothing to do with you rushing me which is also ridiculous to say because I didn't tell you that I love you because you wanted me to or because I thought that you were going to walk out that door if I didn't. I said it because it's how I feel. And it's been how I felt for a long time before that, I just could never bring myself to say it to you."