Remember Me

4. Letting Go

I swallow harshly, worried about whatever it is we have to discuss with the man sitting across from us. I look towards my wife, the woman who knows nothing about me and I say a quick prayer that I'm not about to learn that she'll never remember me. "Well, I suppose we should begin with the basics" the man says, looking between the two of us. "My name is Dr. Stevens, Ms. Hunter and I already met-." Hunter. Of course she wouldn't be going by her married name; she doesn't remember being married but my god, if it doesn't hurt like hell hearing him call her by a name that mine replaced.

"I really don't need to hear your life story" I interject, talking around the lump in my throat. "You've been assigned our cases and frankly I just need you to tell me what's going on." I don't mean to be cold, normally I'm overly polite to everyone but I was over pleasantries. My wife didn't know who I was and I needed to know if it were possible for her to remember.

"Of course" the man smiles softly, grabbing two pages of literature and handing them to me and Maya. On the paper is information detailing a type of amnesia, I can only guess that it's the type that Maya's been diagnosed with. "This is just some basic information about Maya's condition" he explains. "What she's been diagnosed with is called focal retrograde amnesia."

My eyes wander across the page, my brain failing to comprehend anything that I'm reading. "Dr. Stevens" Maya's soft voice interrupts. "This is a lot of medical jargon" she says, pointing to the paper in her hand. "Can't you just answer the only question that we have?" I look towards my wife, confused as to where she's going with this but my answer comes soon enough when she continues, "Will I remember?"

The man sighs, clasping his hands together as he leans forward. "It's possible" he begins and while it should fill me with excitement, there's something about the word he's used. It makes it sound like while anything is possible that it's not likely.

"Possible?" I ask, choking on the word. "As in-."

"With time anything is possible" he confirms. "But the good news is that with this type of amnesia there's no damage to the part of the brain that helps with daily function or new memories. You should be able to return to work, carry on normal relationships-."

"Without remembering my life?" Maya's eyebrows furrow and the tears beneath her voice are becoming all too evident to someone who knows her better than she knows herself. Quite literally now. "I-I don't remember years of my life and I-I'm just supposed to move on?"

"Ms. Hunter" the doctor says, attempting to soothe her but she shakes her head, tears beginning to slowly fall down her cheeks now.

"I think I've heard enough. You can go." And he does. Which leaves me alone with my wife who is currently a blubbering mess who I can't console.

"M-maybe I should go too" I mutter, moving to climb back into my wheelchair but her hand flies out, grabbing my wrist.

"Don't" she begs. "I-I just need to not be alone." Some things would never change, it seemed. Maya was never one to be comforted except when I was involved. She would push everyone away but pull me closer and it seemed that deep down she still felt that way, even if it were subconscious.

"Okay" I agree, settling back onto her bed and waiting for her to calm down. In the time that it takes, her phone rings three separate times which doesn't fail to catch my attention but I stay quiet, not wanting to pry...until the fourth time. I motion to her phone, raising a questioning eyebrow at her. "Aren't you gonna answer that?"

"No. It's my mom" she sniffles, turning the device to silent and flipping it over. "She was here earlier talking about my plans for discharge and I don't know. I just got overwhelmed." Discharge. I realize then, for the first time that I'll be going home alone once I'm released. I sure as hell wouldn't expect Maya to come home with me, after all. "Have they said anything to you about going home?" she asks, changing the subject slightly but I shake my head.

"I'd just woken up right before I came to see you. So, no" I reply, curling up at the end of her bed. "But it's good if they're already talking about you going home" I add, attempting to sound chipper despite the way my heart is absolutely shattering in my chest at the thought of returning to an empty, love-less house.

"Yea" she agrees quietly, biting into her bottom lip, something she only did when she was thinking hard about something.

"What's on your mind, My?" The nickname slips out without trying and I curse myself under my breath for saying it. "I'm sorry. It's just a habit" I backpedal, averting my gaze to my hands so that I don't have to see her reaction.

"It's okay" she replies though, taking me by surprise. My gaze snaps up to meet hers and I'm shocked to find her kind eyes staring back at me with a look of understanding. "You know, I don't expect you to walk on eggshells around me. We are married."

"For now" I reply, feeling the tears well up behind my eyes. It hurt to admit it out loud but really, what kind of marriage could we have now? Living apart with no common memories. It would never work and it wouldn't be fair of me to make her stand by a vow she doesn't remember.

"So, you're giving up? Already?" She asks, surprising me once again. I furrow my eyebrows, wiping a few stray tears that fall on their own accord. "He said I could remember."

"He practically implied that a miracle would have to happen for you to remember" I argue, "and I'm not going to selfishly make you stay with me. That's not fair to you. You deserve to make new memories, fall in love with someone who you'll remember-." The real waterworks begin then, sobs building up in my chest as I stare at my wife through blurred eyes. It killed me to think of signing divorce papers and furthermore, letting her go to be loved by someone else. Maya was the love of my life but perhaps I wasn't the love of her's and I needed to accept that.

"Tell me this" she begs, scooting closer and reaching her hands out to rest on either side of my face. My breath hitches in my throat at the small amount of contact and her expression softens at my reaction. "Do you believe that we're soulmates?" she asks, her blue eyes staring intently into mine. Slowly, I nod my head, unable to picture a life without her...even now. "Then, I think you owe it to yourself and me to show me why I should believe that too."

She's getting less blurry as I calm down but I still feel tears escaping every once and a while as I stare back at her. "H-how am I supposed to do that?" I ask, epically confused because she cannot be suggesting what I think she's suggesting.

And yet, the next words still come out of her mouth, leaving me absolutely speechless. "Make me fall in love with you."