Emotions

<second title goes here>

Good... you're still here. This roughly translates to you having nothing better to do right now. Or maybe you're just curious because the last chapter ended with that awesome cliffhanger huh? Well, nothing awesome about it for me. I did die that day you know.

Anyway... let's get straight into my origin story now.

I should begin with the morning part of that story. It's important so let me just briskly flow through it. Morning is a calm and serene time. Life in nature is most alive and close to humans than any other time. You can almost hear it calling out to you.

I hate it because these damn birds never know when to shut up really.

But anyway... back to the morning of my death.

I was going through the normal routine. Take a shower, wear adequately fashion savvy clothes and venture to the outside world. I did it mostly for the benefit of the woman who was raising me. This one I wish I could forget. I hate the way this woman used to coddle me as if I were the most fragile object in this life. Her concern was bordering on obsession. Ever since the man he married left us, she has made it her mission to always be by my side.

A very annoying habit I would say.

"Have a great day at school honey," that was her farewell every time I would grab my bag and make for the door. I never replied. Years and years of hearing these parting words have made me immune. But on this day, I nodded my acknowledgment of them. I guess I was feeling a bit magnanimous.

The toast she made was especially good that day.

Let's jump a few hours till I'm in Literature class. The teacher is speaking about the scribbling of a long dead author and asking the class to interpret them as they see fit. I usually use this time to catch up on the sleep those damn birds robbed me of. But on this day, someone was looking at me. You know her. She's the one with joyful eyes and a face that inspires war songs.

I really wish I remembered her name though.

I was used to her stare. It made me question several things about my life and this world. But today there was sadness in those joyful eyes. Someone had robbed her of the little enthusiasm I found form her. Naturally, I had to investigate the matter.

You good?

The questions seemed a nice way to express concern as I scribbled it on a paper and passed it to her. Her eyes scanned the paper longer than I anticipated. It was just two words. What more did she need to read? Her pen was in her delicate hand and it traced her elegant script on the paper. Even in her docile state, she could make mountains erupt with just a command. This girl was a strange one indeed.

A minute passed before the paper was back in my hand.

I really need you to...

I wish I could tell you how much I...

Hey, is it really ok to be sleeping when you're failing...

Nothing really. I'm fine. 😊

Well... I guess this is the very definition of a complicated situation. I don't get what any of this means. She seems likes she is fighting an inner conflict that any of us can only be an audience to. It was none of my business. Sometimes I wish I never wrote back that reply. That was the worst mistake of my life.

Let me help you.

I could see the sadness leaking out of her eyes. I knew I said the wrong thing. I was in the worst case scenario here. There was a nasal screeching sound that might have been the bell because we were engulfed in a sea of people moving out of the room.

Normal people would have had an arm around the girl by now. Insisted, nay, demanded to know what could possibly bring this much sadness to such an angel. But I sat in my chair and watched this beautiful teenager cry her eyes out until she was too tired to cry at all. Her beauty was too strong to be ruined with the leaking makeup on her face. She seemed tired, but she had enough strength to ask me to follow her.

We walked for too long. Suspense slaying every ounce of patience I had in my being. Most of the time I was a cautious man. Never taking risks to an end I was not invested in. But for this angel, I strayed too far from a path I had committed to since childhood.

She finally stopped walking. I knew the place. It was the old cliffs where no one came anymore. It matched perfectly the mood she was creating.

"Do you fear love?"

Her question was as random as they came. But it seemed meaningful to me. I didn't know much about the concept of love. No teenager did when they only lusted each other's bodies during parties and such.

"It's only natural to fear what you do not know."

She smiled at that and I felt relived. We were getting somewhere.

"By that notion, one would fear many things in this life, even fear itself."

I never really thought about that myself. I always valued my fear. It kept me alive and rational in many instances in life. Fear is basically your protector, steering you clear of anything that has enough potential of harming you. I abide by the notion to always follow my instincts no matter what.

She turned to the expanse of the ocean below the cliff. It was a long drop, one that would maim or perhaps end a person. Her next line was frightening, but not unexpected.

"Will you follow me to the unknown then? To face fear itself?"

Well, I guess you could pretty much guess what happened after that. I broke my own rule and ignored my fear. My need to please this angel drove me off a cliff, literally. It's maddening trying to understand this life. Perhaps in death, I was to be wiser.

I'll have to wait because I am still not gone from this life.