Just a Nightmare | Erwin Smith x Suicidal Reader

9

Trigger Warning: Death
Erwin Smith, decorated hero by his wife and friends, and someday, his children. Having only one arm, he fought his way to the top. His death, along with the death of many others, marking history for his country, and what was yet to come. The day came where he realized what was going to happen. He was going to die. He didn't have a choice in that. To show his fellow soldiers that they were strong, he would have to lead them into battle. The first to die in his last ever Recon Mission as First In Command of the Scouting Regiment.

A few days before the slaughter of many of the Scouting Regiment's soldiers, he laid in bed with his expecting wife of one year. She wished him luck, for the next day, he would set out for Shiganshina District to try to restore Wall Maria with the help of Eren Jaeger.

"Just promise me Erwin," His wife, (Y/n) Smith said as she held his hand before he rode out to Scout's Headquarters. "Promise me that you'll at least try to stay alive for me. Our child deserves to meet their father." She said as she places his hand over her clothed, and ever growing stomach, where her future son and daughter nested. The blonde looked down to his wife's stomach, giving it a tender kiss before nodding.

"I promise, my love." The man said as he saddled his white horse and rode off. His wife waving as he left. She went back into their home and skimmed through the books that seemed to never end. She grabbed one and sat on the window seat as she began to read, occasionally rubbing her stomach through her dress. She looked out the window once she finished the book. Finding comfort in the setting light. She grabbed her quill and ink and began to write to her husband. Hoping he would find the letter when he returned.

'My dearest Erwin. I can't wait to see you again, my love. As the day when are child will be born nears, I can't help but feel excited that our little bundle of joy will come of age with our freedom. Everything's been fine here so far, and we both hope you return home safely. Give the rest of your fellow soldiers my regards as you provide hope for each and every one of our freedoms. I miss you dearly.

With Love,
(Y/n) Smith'

She writes and folds for him to open when he returns to his office. She would have someone deliver it tomorrow. She stretches, finding herself hungry as she holds her small children that rest in her womb. She finds some potatoes and bread from a few days before.

She boils the potatoes and sets out a single plate onto her table. Wishing for her husband to join her once more. She sighs. Quietly, she lights a candle and sets it onto the table as the sun light fades from the windows and away from the town. She sighs, eating, and just wishing her husband didn't have to be away.

Meanwhile, the Scouting Regiment waits for an attack on the titans that surround them, they wait for morning light to find them once more as many of the soldiers sleep, some taking turns as sentries, watching for titans in the distance.

Erwin sighs, missing his expecting wife. He thinks about what the next day would hold, and he knew immediately, it meant his death.

"What are you thinking about eyebrows?" Levi questioned. "Tomorrow. In order for everyone to go, it means that I have to die. I have no choice. I know (Y/n) is expecting me, hell (Y/n) is expecting. But I also know, that I have to do this. I have to be the one to lead them. I have to die." Erwin explained as Levi's eyes narrowed. "Just you saying that your wife is expecting should be enough for you to stay the fuck alive. You have a kid and wife that you need to live for." Levi explains. Erwin sighs. "I have no choice. It's wither that my child lives a life without fear of titans, or lives with a father who could die at any moment due to his job." Erwin says with sadness. "Then retire." Levi hisses.

"I'm going through with my plan. Meaning I have to die. You have to keep Eren and your squad alive." Levi sighs, kniowing this is going nowhere. "Alright then." He says as he walks away.

A few mere hours later, the sun is rising and the Scouting Regiment is saddling their horses, getting ready to restore the wall that had been broken not-so-long ago by the Colossal and Armored Titans, and now held many mere titans and the Beast, Armored, and Colossal titans as well.

Within hours, blood splattered the ground, the titans were gone, and only Hanji Zoë, Levi Ackerman, Levi's squad, the dying commander, and the dying Armin Arlert. Levi injected Armin with the titan serum, and the remains of the scouting regiment left him to devour Bertolt Hoover, the colossal titan. His scream shook the rookies to their cores, but the veterans stayed still, unfazed, for they had experienced death so much it felt more like a memory. (Anyone get the refrence?) They gathered enough to bury the bodies, nobody wanting to bear the news to the commander's expecting wife.

They reported back to the Queen's palace, where the remains of the scouts became decorated heroes. And Levi made the seemingly long journey, after the exploration of Eren's father's cellar, to the Commander's Wife's home. He knocked on the door three times.

"L-levi! What are you doing here?" The female asked confused. "It's been so long since I've seen you." She said as she hugged her best friend, now a decorated hero.

"May I come in?" Levi asked quietly. (Y/n) nodded. Opening the door more and allowing her friend inside.

"I'm guessing something happened to Erwin and that's why you were on my front doorstep the day after you set out on an expedition." She said as she led him to the living room where the two sat.

"He's dead. Isn't he?" She asked quietly. Levi gave a slow nod as tears fell down her cheeks. She sobbed lightly as her friend held her tightly.

"I knew this would happen. My child isn't going to meet their father." She cried. Levi softly rubbed her back. "I'm very sorry for your loss. No wife ever wants to hear that her husband has died. But it's part of being in the scouts. We're on death's doorstep everyday. Sometimes, they knock, and death answers." Levi said as he rubbed his friend's back. "But if you ever need anything, just let us know." Levi says as he stands.

"I thought you might want this." Levi hands the grieving woman a brown jacket and green medallion. Both belonged to her late husband. She silently took both into her hands and held them close to her chest. As Levi left, he heard one last thing escape her mouth, "Thank you." He knew she was grieving, and she needed to, it was part of death.

A few months later, the scouts were informed that Mrs. (Y/n) Smith, the widow of the late Commander Erwin Smith, was taken in by Queen Historia Reiss. And  two months afer that, she gave birth to a boy, which she named Erwin after her late husband, and (Your Mother's Name) after her late mother. And she finally felt like she had something to live for.
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(Y/n) awoke panting. Her wife beside her. "(Y/n), is something wrong?" She asked. The Queen shook her head. After the birth of her children, (Y/n) fell in love with Queen Historia, and vice versa. The two married and ruled, side by side.

"No, my love, it was just a nightmare." (Y/n) responded to her wife. "Just go back to sleep, honey. I'll be alright." She said as she held her wife close to her once more, falling into a peaceful slumber, one from which she didn't awake from until morning light.