𝐋𝐮𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐚 𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐡𝐲𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬 ʰʸᵘᶰᶜʰᵃᶰ

✿

"Is he ... still wearing that mask? Will I hear the ECG again?"

"He's not wearing the mask, he is breathing quite fine without any assistance. But I'm afraid the ECG is necessary at the moment", the doctor explained.

Lucky me. I knew I would be able to ignore the beeping sound but looking at Hyunjin with that mask on would ... I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to take that sight in again.

I went up to the door and knocked it. Yes, I knocked. I wasn't sure why, the doctor said his hearing wasn't yet fully restored. Maybe it was a reflex. Maybe it was my manners. Whatever it was, I wasn't actually aware I knocked.

But when I heard a soft 'Come in' from behind that door, I was baffled for a moment. I didn't even enter the room right away because I had to process what happened first.

So when I entered I saw this white room. Again, everything was white. And indeed there was this beeping sound awaiting me patiently. I never missed it. But there was something different.

Looking at Hyunjin, I stopped breathing. I didn't dare to. He didn't look to well, he looked tired. His hair got a bit longer. It looked good on him. But what struck me was the clothes he was wearing. They weren't white. It was a black hoodie and dark gray sweatpants. That was an amazing sight. Actually, most amazing about it was seeing him sitting in a normal position. He was holding a book in one hand. Knowing that he was doing well enough to ... seem so normal - that made me happy.

And when he turned his head to look at me, I felt even happier.

"Hey Chan."

Did I just tear up?

"Hi ..." That was absolutely not audible. Not even I myself was able to hear that.

He chuckled. "Please close your mouth, I'm flattered."

God damn it, I didn't realize how much I missed his voice until he opened his mouth to talk. This was crazy. My head started spinning. Actually, for one split second I thought I was going to pass out or something.

"How are you?"

He stole my question.

"I- uhm ... I'm ..." At this point I wasn't even aware of what I was saying anymore. My brain basically logged off, so I looked around the room to find a spot I could concentrate on.

"I'm good ... I guess. What about you?"

He chuckled again. "I'm amazed." His book found it's place on the side table next to the bed he was seated in. "Your voice doesn't at all sound like what I imagined it to sound like."

"What?" I looked back at him.

"Maybe it's because I can't hear properly yet, but I thought of your voice as ... I don't know. I thought it would sound colder. Rough. Sexy maybe?" And again, Hyunjin chuckled. It was the most angelic sound I heard it quite a while. It made the beeping sound disappear from my perception completely.

"Is that ... uhm, is that a bad thing?" I had to smile a bit, his comment was somehow amusing. But I still wasn't over the fact that I didn't have to wildly use my hands to communicate with him. It was nice, but still weird.

"Not at all, Chan."

God. I wish he would have said my name more often.

"It sounds warm, very welcoming. It sounds ... You sound like something I would want to hear more often. A bit like ... home." His warm smile hit my heart a bit too much.

"It's still sexy though", he added after a short pause.

We both started laughing.

"I missed you", I said, tearing up a slight bit - or maybe a bit more.

-

"Are you free tomorrow?" Felix looked at his phone, scrolling through what seemed to be his calendar.

"I think so. Something planned?"

He smiled brightly at my question, looking back up. "Indeed."

A Discord message popped up next to the screen that showed Felix's face. It was Jisung asking me to call him.

"Mind telling me more? I'm curious. You seem really happy", I said while texting Jisung back that I was talking to Felix right now and that I would call him in a few minutes.

"Yesterday I got a message from Changbin."

He turned his phone to his camera, unfortunately his display was too bright for me to be able to see anything.

"I can't read that, Lixie. The only thing I figured is that you're trying to show me the message he sent."

He laughed. "Not only the message. Actually I would love to show you our whole conversation. He told me that he would love to try all this again. The relationship. He took a break because he needed to figure things out for himself and yesterday he told me that he feels a lot more comfortable with himself now and that he's confident, thinking about being in a relationship with me." His voice grew happier and happier the more he talked about his past conversation with Changbin. It created soft tingles in my stomach. I loved hearing him being happy.

"Felix, that's awesome! I'm so happy for you!"

"Right? And so I basically wanted to ask you if you would want to spend a day with me and Changbin tomorrow? You can bring Hyunjin of course. You know - like a double date." He winked at me, making me huff a laugh.

"Sounds good, Lix. I'm gonna ask Hyunjin if he's free tomorrow and I'll let you know, alright?"

"Alright! Thanks Chanie! I'm excited!"

"Me too", I answered, flashing him a smile. "I'll go hang up now, alright? Jisung asked me to call him and I still have to pay Hyunjin a visit."

"Okay, I'll see you then!"

I ended the call after saying goodbye and texted Jisung right away. He called just a split second after.

"What's up?"

He, unlike Felix, looked tired. Not quite as happy as I would have loved to see him.

"Nothing much. College is stressing me out, tho."

"I can tell. You don't sleep well, do you?"

He shook his head. "Not well, not enough. I miss you guys."

I felt crazily sorry for him. If I could, I would have pulled him out of that place but I didn't have enough money, nor enough room in my apartment.

"I know. You know you can of course call us more often."

"It's ... not only you."

I knew what he was up to.

"It's him. I really miss Minho, Chan."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I haven't heard of him in a while. Nor does he text me, unfortunately. I don't know what to do."

"Can't you just visit him?", Jisung asked, looking concerned.

"He won't open his door. I'm constantly sending him packages with self-care stuff. I think he uses them, but in the long run they won't be the solution for all his problems."

Jisung sighed, looking away from his camera. There hasn't been the slightest hint of a smile ever since he moved away. I really wanted to help him. I wanted to help Minho but in the end there was nothing I was able to do that could have helped them in any way.

Felix and I thought about sending Jisung some money so he could move back to Korea but it would take forever since we both don't earn enough money to spend it just like that.

In addition, Jisung's parents just wouldn't let him go. No matter what he tried, they wanted him to stay in Malaysia.

And Minho ... He cut off. From anyone. We haven't seen him at all. He doesn't go to college, he doesn't go out anymore. Probably just to get some alcohol. No wonder Jisung worried about him like hell, Minho literally tried to intoxicate himself.

"I think I'll just go. I have to study for an exam." He put on a fake smile. It hurt to see him try when there was no use trying. "If, by any chance, you get to see him, tell him that I worry ... a lot. And that I miss him. And that he really needs to call me."

"I will, don't worry. Good luck with your exam."