lie again || hoshi ff

ending scene

(soonyoung's pov)
as i went to your apartment the next day, it felt like a dream. at times, i think all of it was just a bad dream. a nightmare that i wanted to wake up from.

i imagine everything will be alright. that you will suddenly come back, and reappear.

but in reality, those things only happen in movies.

one of those endings are just too good to be true. and it hurts because it can't be true.

traces of you were all over the place. i walked over by the counter top and noticed a notebook that was opened. a diary, to be precise. and it looks like it belong to you. i took the notebook and read something.

my eyes became moist as i try to hold back my tears. as i look over by the living room, i was reminded of how things ended between the two of us.

"i love you. i really do. but i'm getting tired.

let's just stop.

we should break up."

without any reason nor explanation, those words slipped through my mouth.

that night, driving away from you as i was leaving.. on the back of my head there's this voice.

"turn back around. make this right.", and i just couldn't.

i have to leave so that she can go find someone that is not afraid to love her the way she's loving me.

i just couldn't stay any longer. so i grabbed the notebook and headed home. i could just go back some other time. when i have the strength to do so.

when i got home, i immediately went to my room. while i scroll through my phone, i looked for the unopened voice messages she left me days ago. i stared at it for a long time, contemplating whether or not if i should listen to it. i have this personality where, i never want to dig too deep. for the fear of what i might find. but in the end, i might regret not listening to it. so i did.

as i tap the screen of my phone, my heart stopped when i heard her voice. i could never forget that voice. before, it was a voice that was always there. always talking to me, laughing with me, a voice that was so familiar to me. now, it was a voice that was only in my head and that is now distant.

it was strange to hear it again.

as i put the phone down, i spent a long time listening to the dial tone. i tried to sleep, but ended up tossing and turning for i don't know how long.

i woke up disoriented, remembering her, but finding only a room full of faces that weren't hers. she was the first person i think of when i wake up, and the last thing on my mind before going to bed.

it has been a cycle.

i quickly got out of bed and get the things that need to be done. we have a music schedule that day, and everything went by smoothly. as we were heading back to the waiting room, Coups hyung pulled me aside.