Invisible Strings

8

"But why?"

"Goddamnit, two weeks babe. It's only—"

"I don't need forever to know I like you, Belle"

"Please, don't make this any harder—"

"Qofte—"

"I-I have a boyfriend at the Philippines. We were in the middle of a fight and.. and I used you okay?"

"No, you're lying."

"I'm coming clean and now, I'm going back to my reality. Let's just think of one another as a passing fancy."

"Passing fancy?"

"I enjoyed your company Sven—"

"Belle, okay I won't be clingy. I won't ask to go with you.. but please tell me you just lied.."

"Shouldn't you have seen I was lying?"

He called for my name, pleading. Buong puso kong inalis ang pagkakahawak niya sa mga kamay ko.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you?"

"Nope, you've been good. Very good. It's just, I'm going back to my reality and you're not in that world.. I don't even know what we're doing.."

"Babe—"

"Answer me, what are we?" I cut him off.

We both couldn't answer after that.

For a painful minute, I looked straight right into his eyes and with my troubled breathing, I memorized the face of the man I know I gave every piece of me.

I won't regret anything.

Pabagsak kong sinara ang pinto ng sasakyan at isahang binibit lahat ng mga dalahin ko. Pero tangina, How funny that I used to complain how my luggages are heavy but now, my heart is the heaviest.

Narinig ko ang pagbukas ng sasakyan at ang pagtawag niya ng pangalan ko. Hindi ko siya nilingon pero naabutan niya ako. May lalaki rin siyang tinawag para tumulong sa mga dala ko habang tahimik niyang hinaplos ang mga libre ko ng mga kamay.

"Off you go." Bulong niya pagkatapos niyang ibigay sa akin ang jacket niya at ang isang masuyong halik sa pisngi.

"Miss, nandito na po tayo." The smiling flight attendant woke me up from my sleep. Wait, I don't even know if I'm sleeping. What I'm sure is that I got to see his face again. Sven will be just like Sab, one of my forever painful dreams that I always know I'll deserve.

Inayos ko na ang sarili ko. I have no plans on going straight to Reina. I actually have no plans at all. Parang ayaw pang gumana ng utak ko ngayon.

Nang makuha ko ang mga gamit ko ay umupo lang ako sa pinakamalapit na bench na nakita ko. Halos isang oras na yata akong nakapikit lang doon.

"Miss beautiful you're still here?"

There I saw the same flight attendant. May dala na siyang backpack at parang pauwi na.  I thought flight attendants always use suitcases. Nginitian ko siya sa pag-aakalang aalis na siya pero hindi, umupo pa siya sa tabi ko.

"Anong ginagawa mo?" Tanong ko sakaniya.

"Uupo? Wala ring magsusundo sa akin eh."

"Okay."

I came back to my soltitude. Pinapakinggan lang ang ingay ng airport. My mind kept wandering—

"Aalis na ako, do you have to call someone o ano?" Tanong ng flight attendant sa tabi ko. Tumango ako sakaniya. I decided I wont use my phone anymore, wala akong lakas na alisin ang simcard ko galing abroad dito.