Invisible Strings

5

Chapter 5: TWO

"Is your father the renowned neurosurgeon, Carlo Illagan?" He's been firing away questions. Ito yata talaga ang breakfast namin.. hindi ang niluto niya. He asked me things about myself and I feel like I'm in some kind of therapy or a job application kind of thing.

"Are we having a therapy sesh, Doc?" Nananantsang tanong ko. Baka kasi nakalimutan niyang kakain kami ng breakfast ngayon at wala pang alas nuebe.

"Archi.. I'm just trying to know you."

"Bakit hindi sa normal na paraan nalang? This feels off."

"What? Ziyah cooperate a bit." Utos niya na nagpakaba sa akin. It's Ziyah again huh.

"Ziyah seldom cooperates, Doc." Seryoso kong sagot. Ziyah has her own mind. All I could do is embrace her.

"Since when did Bellalina came to you?" He carefully asked. Parang alam kona ang susunod na mga tanong niya.

"Since I was two?" It was actually Ziyah who came. Siya ang nakilala ko nang dinala ako nina Reina sa bahay na yon.

"Is it just Ziyah and Bellalina?" Tanong niya.

"Yes. It's just the two of us" Inabala ko ang mga mata ko sa almusal na hinanda niya. Ano kaya ang unang kakainin ko?

Tumikhim siya. He shifted his seat and took a sip on his tea. "Does Bellalina.. hurt you?"

"No, she never did." Bella would never hurt Ziyah, intentionally. Pero alam ko na nasasaktan din siya sa sitwasyon namin. I mean, who wouldn't?

"Good. How old was Bellalina?"

"Bella is dead. Let's not talk about her." Pag-iiwas ko sa usapan namin. I'm pretty sure he's thinking that Bellalina was my alter.

"Does your dad knows about this?"

"What?" He perfectly knew. Mother perfectly knew and they did nothing.

"Does Doc Illagan knows about your situation?"

"He.. he knew but that's it. He was frustrated that I couldn't get better until he died."

"What? He's dead?" Gulat na tanong niya.

"Yup. Two years ago."

Nasapo niya ang mukha niya. "Oh God, I wanted so much to meet him again." Napangiti ako nang marealize na nawawala na siya sa usapan.

"You met him before?" I tried to feed his curiosity.

"I did. When I was a sophomore at med school. We had a tour in his house in the Philippines"

"What?!"

"It was gigantic."

"It was just a big box."

"It was marvelous. It screamed life" Nagsimula niyang dinescribe ang bahay namin. Magsimula sa magarbong staircase namin, library office ni Papa at sa prototype emergency room sa bahay. I really don't understand why they go to our house. Ginawang pang-field trip.

"Don't be so full of yourself. Romanticising that house, it's not worth it." I cut him, sumasama na kasi ang mood ko sa pag-alala niya sa ambiance ng bahay namin.. ambiance for the public.

"Huh?"

"Just don't." Pareho na kaming natahimik. Siguro ay naramdaman niyang ayaw kong pag-usapan iyon.

Eversince I finished studying, gustong-gusto ko ng umalis sa bahay na iyon. It's just suffocating there kahit na tatlo lang kaming nasa bahay. And when Papa died, lalong parang naging masikip ang mundo ko sabay ng paglaki lalo ng bahay.