Invisible Strings

8

"First, I have to congratulate you for your self-awareness and then, make peace with yourself."

I cracked a chuckle after realizing something. "You sound like a therapist from dramas."

"Babe, I'm a therapist."

"Oh.. nakakalimutan kong pang-utak ka pala"

Make peace with myself? Hindi sa mga taong nasaktan ko? I don't even know kung humingi ba ako ng tawag kay Celes nung nangyari yon. I loved her so much and it breaks me na we just kept all of us in the dark. Nagkaayos kaming lahat——

But the truth is, I'm running away from our conversation. Hindi pa ako ready magpakadeep ulit and I feel like umabot na sa limit ang pag-oopen up ko sakaniya.

"How will you describe yourself musically?" Tanong ko. Wala na akong maisip na tanong. Our bare bodies together under the sheets makes our question and answer portion harder tapos dagdagan pa ng malalandi niyang halik.

"Geez, I'm torn between Accompaniment and Slur" Seryoso niyang sagot habang pinaglalaruan ang mga kamay ko.

"Why?"

"I feel like my existence, or maybe due to my profession.. I'm just here to support people in their life, to help them figure out theirs.."

Natahimik ako. Ano nga ba ako? What's my purpose? I became an architect due to my curiosity and stayed because I want to prove myself that I can be whoever I wanted to be.

"It must've been good to have your life figured out" nakapikit kong bulong.

"Qofte, I can be your accompaniment—"

"Eww, you're everybody's accompanist—"

"That's just an analogy! how dare you?"

Nabalot ng katahimikan ang buong lugar. Tanging mga paghinga nalang namin ang naririnig.  Being an accompaniment and a slur is not so bad. Nandyan ka lang sa tabi, tahimik pero sumusuporta at laging nakaantabay.

"How will you describe yourself musically babe?"

That's when I knew what will described me perfectly..

"An Arpeggio" nakangiting sabi ko.

"Then I'll be your Slur"

"Idiot-"

"What? It's perfect. I'll connect your broken self—"

"Shut the fuck up, Sven"

"Next time you cuss the hell up, I will kiss you till you drop-"

Doon na ako natawa. Is that even possible?

"Don't be silly. How could I even drop. Just a kiss? Boomer"

"Did I tell you where and how?"

"Fu—"

"Try me."

"Fuck you" mahinang bulong ko.

There's this thing about him kissing me in all places I couldn't even think of and him, holding me like I'm a baby or a prized collection that makes me giggle every time I think of it.

Sven is someone whose more than willing and able to do that except that I don't know if it's only to me. I engaged into this type of set-up with him and I'm not complaining even a bit.

May nakuha rin naman akong magagandang bagay sakaniya- dandelions, the stars, the ocean, his kisses, his laughter, his faint breathing when were under the sheets, his aura with his friends, his face when he's sulking—-