Invisible Strings

6

"Did I upset you?" Pag-ulit niya. Umirap lang ako tsaka akmang uupo sa buhanginan. Mabilis niya ako nahila bilang pagpigil sa balak kong pag-upo tsaka siya naglatag ng blanket para upuan namin. "Okay sit."

I unwillingly obliged. Pinagmasdan ko ang mabagal na pag-akyat ng araw. I kept myself busy as he rested his head on my shoulders. Napagod siguro siyang talaga. Hindi kasi niya ako pinayagang makapalitan na magdrive. Ayan tuloy, he might've been sleepy for that seven-hour drive.

"I'm sorry I called you Ziyah earlier." Panimula niya. Napainom ako sa hawak kong kape. I just noticed now that I always make my mouth busy if I don't want to talk about something.

"I promised I will address you as Bella and yet it was Ziyah I called. I'm sorry I know I upset you now."

Hindi parin ako umimik. Alam ko kasing mababaw lang iyon kung ikukwento sa iba pero para sa akin.. big deal 'yon.

"I won't break my promises again, I promise." He said while planting kisses on my jaw. Napapikit ako ng mariin, hindi dahil sa inis na ayaw kong mawala muna kundi dahil sa mumunti niyang halik.

I calmed my breathing. Ganito lang ba tayo karupok, self?

"Bella, my Qofte, notice me" mas lalong bumaba ang mga halik niya. I couldn't stop myself from moaning. He chuckled after hearing me. Ramdam ko talaga ang pagkatalo sa paghagikgik niya. He then rested his head in my shoulders again.

"Was this your best life?" Marahang-tanong ko nang balutin kami ng katahimikan. Mararamdaman mona ang sinag ng araw pero hindi pa iyon gaanong kasakit, may vitamin D pa.

"This will be my best life because I met you, Qofte."

I don't know if it was the sound of the waves crashing or the little background birds that chirps from afar or his low sleepy-bedroom voice that made everything feel perfect. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay totoo ang sinasabi niya. Pakiramdam ko aasa talaga ako kung hindi lang masyadong mabilis ang lahat.. kung sa tamang paraan lang sana kami nagkakilala..

"Don't make it sound so real, babe. Baka di ako umuwi niyan."

"Bella..." he called.  "Your name justifies you" Hinalikan niya ang pisngi ko bago siya nahiga sa blanket na inuupuan namin. He invited me to lie with him and I willingly accepted.  Oo na,  marupok na talaga.

Hinayaan ko ang sarili kong malunod sa asul na langit habang nakahiga sa braso niya.  Umayos siya ng pwesto at humarap sa akin.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" He whispered. Ayan na naman kami sa mga pasuspense niyang tanong.

"What is it?"

"Was it Bella or Ziyah? The one who agreed to be with me.."

Kumunot ang noo ko.  Bella is not my alter and I just can't seem to explain that to him because I wanted to be Bella even just for a bit.

"Do you like Ziyah more?" The sky started showing different colors as the sun and the clouds meet.

"I like you whoever you are. I just want to know who should I be thankful with."

"You're and idiot ,Doc." I tried to laugh it off.

"Was life hard with your parents,  Qofte?"

Mataman ko siyang tinignan. Tinatansya niya ang mukha ko na para bang natatakot siya na baka may masabi siyang mali.

"Life was easy with Ziyah's parents." Tipid na sagot ko. "After hearing your story, I was a little bit envious with the family you got but everything happens for a reason and look at me now,  I'm a fucking architect and currently fucking a doctor."