•Kellin•
It's been about a week since that 'date'. I'm still confused as to what that was for, but I know that he has no feelings for me whatsoever. I know I should've expected that to be the outcome, but I can't help feel absolutely worthless. I mean, I guess all the sex is fun and whatnot, but I just feel kind of as if I'm being used. What makes it worst is that I don't know whether I feel like that because I like Vic or not. I guess the initial fact that I feel like that is bad as it is.
I was in my bed staring at the ceiling deep in thought. This was driving me crazy to no end. I hate how he is making me feel. Why is he doing this to me? I hate it. I mean, the sex is great and he is a good guy, but what he's doing isn't so great. He is practically using me for his needs and I'm not okay with this, but it's not like I can stop it.
I was torn. Inside and out. It's eating at me not knowing where or how we stand and why he's doing this. I really like him. A lot, but he doesn't like me like that at all. All he wants is sex and quite frankly, I want more. All he looks for in me is lust, and honestly, I want love. Everybody kisses up to me, but it's lust, not love. I get knocked out of my thoughts when I hear somebody talk.
"You know what they say, thinking killed the teenager." Vic said cheekily. I just shook my head and kept looking at the ceiling.
"And the noose cut off air flow to the brain, but they never mention that. What do you want, Vic?" I asked. I let out a sigh of annoyance and sat up. Vic just gave me look of confusion but let it slip before he smirked at me. He came up to me and sat- well kneeled- in front of me, looking me in the eyes. He didn't say anything, but looked at me and leaned in, kissing me on the lips. I didn't want to kiss back, but I did. I didn't put in much to the kiss and he noticed.
"What's wrong? Did I do something?" he asked. I just shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.
"No, I'm just...a little bit sick." I said, clearing my throat in between words which made it sound realistic, but in reality I was trying to get the knot in my throat to go down. I always hope to have my stomach tied in knots, but it's sad that it's my throat that has knots in it. You know, when you wanna cry so bad, but you can't, so you have that pain in the back of your throat? That's what it is when your throat is tied in knots, and honestly, I don't like it.
"But it's like 80 degrees out, how could you possibly get sick?" Vic asked me. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
"Allergies, I didn't have my pills and it got bad to where I'm sick now. Sorry." I said. I shrugged and Vic believed it.
"Well, we will continue this when you're not sick. Bye Kellin." he said. He got up and left my house in a quickness.
Oh stupid Kellin, always doin g stupid things like catching feelings.
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Update, yeah! How'd you guys like it? I might see Memphis May Fire, Dance Gavin Dance, Crown the Empire, and Palisades. Hopefully I can.
Didn't proofread.
Senpai ✖♥✖♥
