Our Saving Grace

Someone to Care - Sang

It had taken me ages to convince Raven not to go and strangle Adam with his own hands. Then I had to deal with the other four of my brothers, as they rushed to my room as soon as they heard the news. Thus restarting the whole - you can't kill or seriously maim someone for cheating - conversation all over again. I was so busy calming them down and reassuring them that I was okay, that I didn't even really get to process how I was feeling about the whole situation. 

I was not your normal twenty year-old woman who had multiple different dating experiences to refer back to in this sort of situation. When I lived with my family I had basically lived like a hermit and didn't even have anybody that I called a friend let alone a romantic interest. Then I had gone to an all girls private school. Any free time that I had in my teen years I spent training for the Academy or coming home to visit the Toma team. In all reality, I kinda forgot to develop an interest in boys. I was simply just too busy for them. 

So when Adam had started talking to me and eventually asked me out, it had taken me completely by surprise. I think I had initially said yes to him, just because it seemed like the polite thing to do. But over the last couple of months I had grown pretty fond of the guy. He was lighthearted, simple, and the definition of normal. He made me feel normal too. 

All of these thoughts circled in my mind as I tried to get to sleep. All of my brothers had left to do some sort of mission that they were being deliberately vague about and I was left alone with my thoughts. Alone again. One would think that I would be more able to cope with the silence after all of the practice I have had with it over the years. I was more than relieved to feel my phone vibrate in my hand. 

Silas: Hello

Silas: I heard what happened today. Are you okay? 

Hmm. I knew that Academy teams were big families and didn't really have secrets from each other, but I didn't love the idea of these nine attractive men gossiping about how pathetic it is that I didn't even know the guy I was dating was also seeing two other women. On the other hand, it is nice that he reached out to make sure that I was okay. I didn't even really know Silas, yet here he was late at night taking time out of his busy day to send me a text message. That at least deserved a reply. 

Sang: Hey.

Sang: Is it okay if I say that I am not really ok.

Silas: God I hope so. Most times these days I am defiantly not okay. 

Wow. That was bold. Here was a man I had only met once and I am pretty sure that was a que to open up a much deeper conversation. Was this a cry for help? 

Sang: Want to talk about it? I am a great listener. 

My phone remained motionless in my hand for over five minutes and I started to fear that I completely misread that situation and overstepped. Silas was a part of a nine member Academy team. Of course he wouldn't need someone like me. What could I do for him that none of his brothers could? 

Silas: I made a bad judgment call in an even worse situation and someone I love ended up paying the price. Now I am weighed down with guilt and fear that every move I make will be the wrong one again. Who will be hurt because of me next? When we were in that construction building and the shooting started, I completely froze. I didn't do anything but tentatively follow Gabe from hiding place to hiding place. It was like I was physically unable to do anything else. Unable to make a move to protect my brothers. Then I saw that laser focus on the back of Gabe's head and knew that once again I failed to protect my family. I am a failure. 

Silas: Then you were flying through the air like an angel. Aggele mou. 

Silas: I never thanked you for that.