first step to Emotionless Killing... maybe

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I should have expected that. The Zoldyck family, the home of the best assassin family in the world. Ruthless killing is just a part of their chores. Them owning a cute puppy, people would laugh at that. The only pet they could ever keep, were beings similar to them, as in killing machines. In the anime, there were no guards or security for the yard (forest). All they needed was one large doggy. 4 metres tall to be exact. I would not be surprised if the family had a whole troupe of dinosaurs somewhere. 

"B-but why?!" Killua on the verge of tears, screamed at father. 

"Why... because we are Zoldycks, our job is killing, no matter how appealing the target is, how much good or evil they have done. We only kill them and receive our payment," he replies, "If you kill this dog, I will grant any suitable wish you may have." 

Those words ignited in my mind, any wish... 

"Can I save the wish to use later?" I suddenly ask. To which father nods. Killua looks at me in bewilderment. Then he rushes over and covers the dog with his body. 

"No! I won't let you!" Killua screams. I pick up the knife and walk over to him. 

"Kil, listen, it is only a dog, I promise I will get you a new one." Then leaning into his ear, I whisper, "If one of us doesn't kill the dog, who knows what dad will do to it, he might even chop it up into pieces and give it to the big wolfhound, would you want that to happen to it?" 

He profusely shakes his head, but still doesn't let go of the puppy. "Killua, if I kill him, the dog will go to a much better place known as puppy heaven (and I'll go to hell), it'll have lots to eat and lots of dog friends to make, but here..." Understanding my words, Killua let go of the dog, while tears poured out of his eyes. 

I brought the dog close to me, with the knife in one hand, I brought it close to the heart of the dog. My hands started shaking. Who am I kidding, killing a dog, at first it seemed easy. Now... f*ck. I can't kill a dog... end an innocent life. The closest thing to murder I did was step on insects. 

I have to, this isn't my old world. Here strength controls the rules; here a moment of hesitation can end in death. If I can kill him, then I can request to learn nen from father when I am older. Even though I remember some stuff on it from the anime and manga. To grow strong fast and awaken my special ability, I need a nen teacher. 

As the knife got closer to the dog, my hand shook more violently. Sweat beaded my forehead and my heart, contracting and expanding insanely fast. Fear and trepidation filled me, beside me Killua had his eyes covered with his hands, you could still hear his sniffles. 

After what felt like an eternity, I let out a sigh, and threw the knife away.  Hearing it thud away, I sat on my knees and let go of the dog. With my hands on my head. I started to cuss. I felt pissed, pissed that I couldn't kill a dog, but then I was also relieved. Yea, I might be able to learn nen after killing this dog, but it just leaves a bad taste. 

I was too naïve, thinking that killing was as simple as plucking weeds of the ground. I don't want to stay here... 

Hearing me, Killua, at first confused, ran towards me and hugged me. The dog seeing us jumped at us. This is pathetic, a 20 year old needing comforting from a young boy and puppy. But still it helped. I think my ability to handle my emotions drastically decreased from what I could usually cope with in my previous life. 

Suddenly, a hand patted my hair, I looked around and found our father, smiling slightly while patting me and Killua. 

"Of course, if we haven't received the advance payment. We never finish off our targets. A smile blossomed on my face. The dog sensing my mood, started yelping loudly. Killua burst into laughter, and I joined in later. Soon our father also started chuckling. After a couple of minutes like that. Father's face soon turned serious. 

"But remember sooner or later, you will have to kill, maybe in one day's time, or longer, after all, we are Zoldycks." 

I gulped and nodded after hearing that, Killua also reluctantly nodded. Satisfied, father walked.
"So we can keep him!" Killua gleefully shouted. 

"Haha yea!" I replied while rubbing his soft silver hair. Seeing this, he also started rubbing my hair. Soon we both had a competition on who could burn the others hair faster. Fortunately, our hair was quite durable. Moments like these, are the only enjoyments for me in this world. Living without web novels is hard. 

"So what should we name him?" I asked Killua. 

"Hmmm... let's ask Alluka," Replied Kil, it seems he really does enjoy spending time with her.
One thing that shocked me was when I found out Alluka was a dude, but for some reason Killua refers to her as a she. I am going to do the same now. Nanika should also be coming out in the next couple of years probably. I need to find a way so that the family apart from Killua doesn't find out. After all, I don't want her to stay in that small toy room for her entire childhood.
I'm thinking of running away when I am 8 or 9 and doing the Hunter exam. This way, after I have completed it, I can hopefully meet a Hunter nen instructor. Like how Killua and Gon met Wing at heavens arena.  

[A/N: She has a D***, check fandom, scroll down to the Gender Ambiguity bit.]

Oh sh*t. Heavens arena! Isn't Killua sent to it when he is like 6. I think it took him around a year or 2 to reach floor 200. I should technically reach it faster, as I know ten (opening and closing aura nodes), and hopefully by that time, I can learn ren, zetsu and gyo. But so far, I am really confused on how to. So instead of wasting my time learning that, I am practicing to keep my ten active at all times, of course when I am alone, with non-nen practitioners. 

I think my best chance to finish the hunter exam is during the period, father sends us to heavens arena. I will try to reach floor 200 in 1 years' time, and then later rush straight to the Hunter exam. 

However, that will still take like 5 years. Right now, all I need to do is train ten, learn assassin skills, keep a lookout for Nanika and finally, learn to kill.

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