A Real Nigga's Love

Imani

After leaving Momma Ricks house I couldn't sleep. All I could think about is how dumb I am for not at least hearing him out. I didn't even know that we were up for investigation. What caught me by surprise is the man was in prison this whole time. Like where have I been? 

Walking in Maliyah room. Nope I still haven't moved in. Don't think I'm ready. 

"Liyah you woke, I need to talk?" I called out. 

"I'm laying here looking stupid just like you. I'm about to call Stormi so we can talk about this." Liyah said. 

"Stormi on her way. I'm about to make us some drinks and we about to get down to the bottom of this" Liyah said. 

-----

"Bitches we are in trouble. How the fuck did we miss all that shit? When the fuck did Naim get locked up and how come the streets wasn't talking? Like what the fuck? We left the men we loved high and dry, now look at the situation?" Stormi said walking through the door. 

"I swear this shit is sad as fuck. Like we didn't even know and the way Naim looked walking out the house was heartbreaking." I let them know. 

I have to figure out how I'm going to get in touch with him. I feel like we need to talk and put everything on the table. I need to apologize to everyone and move forward. I was being selfish and  look at my situation now. I have Kenya and I haven't spoke with Tony either. It's time I deal with my problems. 

"Ya'll I think we need to call a meeting. I have some things I need to get off my chest. I feel so bad and I missed up everyone's lives due to my own hurt and pain. I owe Symere and Armani apologies. Even Momma Ricks deserves an apology. I'm sorry to you both. I didn't mean to cause yall pain based on my selfish reasons. I know ya'll wanted to protect me. I should of been more understanding that even when yall in a relationship that doesn't mean I don't have yall. Ya'll know what I've been through and I just need to make sure that we good." I said to the girls on the verge of crying. 

I fucked up. 

"Imani don't blame yourself we all played a part in this situation. You didn't force our hands. You told us what you were doing and we did the same thing. It's our faults. We were out here getting extra money helping the guys and wasn't watching our surroundings or who we was cool with. Whole time people was plotting against us. So even though we were wrong for leaving them. It worked out because the law isn't on our backs. I just hate that Naim had to take all our problems on and spend his time in prison." Maliyah said. 

"I second Liyah. We do need to have a meeting. Even though we can't give Naim his years back. We can at least allow him in our lives and be supportive of him now that he is home. He has always been a big brother to me and to protect us like that just lets me know we need to show him love. It's up to yall. I'm down for whatever. Symere said that he has been trying to get some properties to go legit. We can help decorate or something. Through him a surprise party and get him something nice. I don't know bitches. What I do know is we have to show our appreciation." Stormi said drinking her wine. 

Stella Rose always gets us right. We stay with a few Stella Rose Blacks in our cabinets. 

"I'm scared to move into my house. I feel like Tony has been a bit quiet after not getting any answers from me. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I'm surprised he hasn't come to you all house or up to the school. He hasn't been to my job either. I just feel like he is going to resurface eventually. Then I have to think about Kenya and Naim. I don't want to hurt anyone you know. I already have to find time to thank Naim without feeling stupid. I just don't know yall." I said while trying to control my emotions. 

"Stormi what the hell are your over there doing?" Liyah asked. 

"I'm texting Momma Rick so she can figure out when we can all have another sit down. Muthafuckers know not to play with OG so we gone have her set everything up and kick shit off. Mani you need to get shit off your chest and push forward. Move in your house. Get you the door bell that has the camera. And have an alarm system and some life & rental insurance. Tony not stupid but if he wants to play dumb then so be it. He will die trying." Stormi said. 

I love my girls. They know how to cheer me up and don't mind when I get emotional. I'm a overthinker at heart and I don't well with getting hurt. I have been carrying my traumas around for years and the only time I've felt like I could actually make it was when I was with Naim. I currently keep going because Kenya. Truthfully, I need to build me up and start loving me. I don't expect anything to be different in my life until I make the necessary changes to love myself. I just hope my girls can withstand this journey. 

"I think I'm going to go through with therapy. there There is so much I need to heal and I feel like if I don't start somewhere I'm going to miss out on life and be so stuck on being hurt that I want open up again. What if I missed my chance at love?" Once again I'm about to break down. 

All of this has been hard for a girl like me. I didn't know that I would be this emotional. I just think its all coming from me dealing with Tony and his shit then Naim resurfacing didn't make it no better. 

Note to you. 

Don't be like me don't allow you past traumas to affect your future or your life. I was in a relationship that has already ran its coarse. I let a man not only treat me bad but also my child. I was being naive to the situation and not taking it for what it truly are. I need you to Rise Up and Love Yourself. Don't allow anyone to dim your light or cast their fears on you. I'm proud of you.  I'm working on Imani. Now, as I'm telling you this. I'm abut to check my own steps forward because Kenya deserves me at my best verison. So trust your process. 

---------------

Chapter 17 (1161 words) 

Make sure you VOTE & COMMNET 

Also SHARE