MARIBAT Incorrect Quotes, Ideas, Headcanons and A Pinch Of Crack-ships/ideas

Brucinette (Incorrect Quote)

A/N This is very far from canon.
Bruce and family at dinner table, peacefully eating for once

Bruce's phone: *RING*

Bruce picks up the call, despite the "hey no phones at the table, it's YOUR rule!" Coming from his kids.

Bruce into the phone: Hi Mari, how is your business tri-

Mari: I kidnapped a child

Bruce:... you, what?

Mari, frantically running from assassins while holding their toddler prince, while also fighting to keep him in her hold because he's also an assassin: I'm gonna portal to your location, don't question it.

Bruce: Portal! What, Mari wh-

Call Hung Up

Jason:B what was that about?

Dick: yeah and what about a portal and Mari?

Bruce: she k-

Bruce gets interrupted by a weird blue portal opening in the room

Batfam: whaaa...

Mari, still fighting/holding the tiny assassin prince: Heeeey, Dove, so meet your son Damian, he's 3 and a h-

Dick: Son!

Jason: Woah, B, you fucked Mari? And had a kid?

Tim:*struggling to stay awake*

Bruce: But, we, no, we didn't, huh?

Mari, blushes: he's not mine, he's yours and Talia's

Bruce: why did you kidnap him then?

Mari: Talia was an assassin for a giant assassin corporation that I just so happen to be after and when I saw that they were training him, a 3 year old mind you, I couldn't not do anything, so I saved him before I accidentally demolished the building.

Everyone looks at Bruce

Bruce: well, um, thank you, Hello Damian.

Damian, looks him dead in the eyes from Mari's hold:

Jason: Are we just gonna ignore the fact that she got here by a portal?