It was December 22nd, my eighteenth birthday. I woke up feeling slightly happier than usual. I usually just had Mandy and Mom here to sing me 'Happy Birthday' and we'd eat some cake, nothing big. But seeing i was now an adult, i figured maybe i'd be able to more things i couldnt do before. It felt more special.
Mom woke me up with a giant cupcake with 18 candles and pink frosting. I blew out the candles and thanked my mom. She gave me one breath taking hug, literally. She squeezed the air outta me since she was leaving this afternoon on another trip. I didnt mind honestly since i atleast got to celebrate it for a while with her. Plus, she didnt know about the party and there would be no party if she was here. She wouldnt mind a small get-together but a big bonanza with drinks and possibly drugs, who knows what these teens did nowadays, she was not okay with.
It was 10:30 when mom surprised me with the giant cupcake and i headed into the shower and took a long, hot bath and relaxed. Then i did something i hadnt done in a while. I wrote in my journal. I hadnt written it in over two months. I slowly stopped writing in it and eventually stopped but i felt i should. I knew there were things that i should sort out, my feelings. Then, it would help me decide what the best thing for me was.
I grabbed my journal i kept under the bathtub, my secret place because honestly, who looks under there. I opened it up and started writing what had been happening lately. I wrote down how Bradley and I first started off well. We got along fine and we had fun. I wrote down my first date with him when he invited me to the club and how Chad left a hickey on my neck when he tried coming on to me. I described how Bradley and i came back to my place to kiss and make out but that stopped when he noticed the hickey and then told Chad to back off.
Then i wrote about the party when me and Bradley kissed again but then i told him either we grow and move on or we stop fooling around completely. I had felt like a slease and then he kissed me so deeply and then he crushed me when he said it was over because he wasnt good in relationships. I wrote about not talking to him because it was too awkward and uncomfortable to face him and how i shed a few tears for him. Then he started fooling around with Amanda and we argued. I wrote down that he said i assumed he was with her but then he got with her a week later, even though he 'wasnt good with relationships.'
I wrote down how i saw them going at it in his bedroom and how i hated that they were intimate with eachother. Then i wrote about Bryan and our date and how Bradley showed up with Amanda and after the date he tried speaking to me but i told him i didnt want to hear any of his crap, it would just be another lie. We hadnt spoken in nearly a month and then Mandy and i got drunk and he helped us out and how he hugged me and suddenly it made everything better. I wrote down how i loved feeling his warmth around me and being so close to him. He told me he'd wanted to speak to me for so long and last i wrote about Amanda cheating on him.
I wrote that i found out by her followers talking about it and how i thought i should tell Bradley but i didnt know how to even approach that topic. And what if he didnt believe me? What if he thought i made it up? Then i thought he'd probably ask Amanda himself and she'd probably deny it. Or maybe they'd break up. That'd be better. I knew i had to tell him now that we were speaking once again, but i didnt want to. It'd be too uncomfortable and weird.
Mom left after 3 p.m. and i went shopping with Mandy for the best dress i could find. We spent half an hour looking through racks of dresses and soon i found two that caught my eye immediately. I tried them on and paid for it to later drive back to stop and buy essentials for a party.
Greg helped out with drinks this time and got us an insane amount of beer, a beer funnel with a barrel and a bottle of vodka. I kept my makeup to a minimum. Eyeliner with a winged tip on my top eyelid and light pink berry blush. I added pink gloss and I made my hair into loose waves that cascaded down my shoulder and just below my chest. I wore a pink strapless dress that draped over my thighs and was slightly longer in the back. People showed up around 8 and began drinking the night away. At around eleven, i slipped into my second dress. A strapless dress that ended mid-thigh in the front but was longer and ended under my knee in the back. It was white on top with black printed flowers and that ended right where my rib cage ended and then it was black from the middle down in ruffles. I put on some shiny black peep toed heels that were 5 inches high. I headed downstairs and got glances my way.
People were dancing furiously and grinding on eachother. I was only tipsy and slowly sipped on my vodka and cranberry juice. Then more guys arrived and i held the door open for them as they bought more beer cases and more bottles of vodka. Ian, Christopher, Mark, Ryan, and Chad came in and last but certainly not least, Bradley entered. He was wearing a black buttoned up dress shirt with a couple left unbuttoned on top. I loved how he looked and surprised to see him without Amanda.
"Amanda's not showing up. I figured its for the best" he explained. I agreed and let him in.
