Not Strong Enough

Dodging

Walking down the school corridor towards my locker at the end of my mini vacations was probably the hardest thing I have ever doen in my life. I knew I had not done anything wrong, but there was this apprehension and the guilt that was eating me up. I nervously blinked and ran a hand through my hair, as I gave myself a mental pep talk to man up, and stop behaving like such a scaredy cat.

I reached my lockers and started taking out the books I needed when his scent filled my nose. I couldn't resist myself from taking in a deep whiff, as it entered my body. I closed my eyes in ecstasy, enjoying his scent, but dreading the moment I would actually have to talk to him.

"Alpha Shaw?" his voice was velvety and polite.

I turned around, and saw him standing with his hand around Jessica.

My good mood immediately went for a toss, and all my ecstasy instantly drained out of me. However, I smiled as brightly as I could.

"Alpha Hawke," I greeted him formally, "I have been meaning to meet and apologize to you about the other day, I don't know what came over me, -"

"Oh, that is quite all right." he raised a hand and smiled. But the smile I noticed was fake, and it did not light up his eyes, which were desperately staring at me, as if trying to deciper me. He was making small talk, I realized with a jolt, so he could confirm his suspicions. Well, too bad for him, I thought as I smiled privately to myself, I was wearing my lenses today. I had slipped up once, I was never ever doing it again. The stakes were too high here, there was no scope for any kind of slip ups.

"How do you feel now?" he asked, and I could feel his genuine concern towards me.

"Much better, thank you." I kept my replies clipped and short. I was done conversing with him. I needed him to get the signal and leave me alone.

Like, now.

"Did you find the cause of your illness? I hope it is not serious." he continued staring creepily into my eyes, as if physically willing my lenses to pop out. It made me jumpy, and uncomfortable. This was not the type of guy that gave up easily. Just my luck.

"Um, yeah, it was just my body adapting to this whole Alpha position thing. It happens sometimes, no big deal." I shrugged.

"So has it happened before?"

Dude! Let it go, will you? I mentally screamed at him. I even glanced at Jessica, who was staring at her mobile, too engrossed to be bothered about our conversation. Was she not the least bit jealous? Shouldn't she be overpossessive and territorial that her boyfriend was so concerned about another female? Had it been me, I would be burning green with envy right now.

And that is when I realised with a start, that was the difference. She was not me, she could never be me. But that was exactly what Gabriel wanted. Me.

"Um, yes. A couple of times."

He opened his mouth to say something else, but was thankfully cut off by Jessica.

"Honey," she crooned in her falsely sweet voice, "Our friends are waiting for us, I am sure Alpha Claire is just fine now." she gave me a fat smile at the end of the sentence which I did not reciprocate.

Gabriel glanced from me to her, as if torn. As much as I wanted him to leave, I hated him leaving with her. I hated it, but there was nothing I could do about it. So I clenched my fists tight, and smiled in reassurance, like I totally agreed with the bitch.

He smiled back, and left with a mumbled goodbye, and I was left alone to head to class. Which I did, but the day passed in a blur. I dont know why, but my mood just went from bad to worse over the day. By the time I reached back home, I was downright toxic.

So when Josh greeted me with one of his sassy comments, I actually growled at him. He got the signal, and immediately went for a run, informing me not to wait up, and that he would be out late.

As the door slammed shut behind him, I grabbed something yo eat from the fridge, and switched on the tv. Then I switched it off in irritation. I threw away the remote, angry. I felt restless, on edge, and uncomfortable. What was wrong with me?

The phone rang, startling me. I did not want to talk to anyone right now. I stared at it till it stopped ringing.

It did.

I satback on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

The phone rang again.

Who the hell was calling me? I growled lowly at the back of my throat and made my way to it, and picked it up.

"Hello?" I asked.

"You did not surrender your position, I am told."

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. It was my father, and this was so not a good time to talk to me.

"No father." I replied through gritted teeth.

"And what would the reason be for that, may I ask?" his tone held an edge of menace. He was extremely pissed.

"Dad-"

"No, Claire. When I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it! I specifically told you to surrender your title back to Dan, why haven't you done it? You can't even obey orders properly, let alone do anything else." Disgust and anger leaked from his tone.

I needed to calm down and talk reason with him. So I took in another deep breath, to calm my raging Alpha wolf.

"Look, Dad, It is not what you think," I began, but he cut me off.

"I dont care how it is, or how it isnt. You are surrendering your title back. Go to Dan right now and do it."

" No, I won't. " I spat on the phone.

"Yes, you will. Dare you say that again, you ungrateful, ill mannered, little-"

"No, dad. I am not going to surrender my title, to Dan or anyone else." I repeated, my fury raging. I was so done taking orders. I needed to show them who was the Alpha here.

"I am your father! " he roared on the phone.

"And I am your Alpha." The Alpha voice took over, I couldn't help it, and my tone leaked with power, "You do not tell me what yo do and what not to do. I take orders from no one. Next time you shout at me, or disrespect me, you will regret it."

I slammed the phone down, and slumped on the vouch.

Whew, that was exhausting.

Why did everyone try and control me and order me around? Why couldn't I have a single stress free day in my life? I forced in a deep, calming breath, letting the air fill my lungs, and then exhaled slowly. I could not let myself lose control. I was the Alpha of the pack, and I could not allow myself to be disturbed by things like this. I must remain cool and collected at all times.

A few minutes of deep breaths, and I had regained my composure. I sat and stared at the tv screen for some time, and just then, my ears picked a sound. It was a light footstep, in my territory.

Adrenaline surged in my body, as my ears picked up the sound.