Not Strong Enough

Shocking revelations

By the time it was recess, I was starved. I rushed into the cafeteria, eager to get some food within me. The day had been uneventful and lonely so far, and that was strangely comforting. I walked into the cafeteria and looked around. Like all other things in the school, it was huge.

And jam- packed with teenage wolves.

 I looked for places to avoid –those that had my mate, and the places to go- those that had the food. The avoidable place was the right at the centre of the café- and I needed to go right past it to the far end corner to get my food. I could manage that much, right?

I squared my shoulders and started walking. I passed and table, without incident and I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I quickly navigated my way to the table and brought my food.

I turned around, looking for an empty table or a place to sit. Sadly, there was none.

As I looked around, someone tapped my shoulder, “um, Claire?”

I turned around, and there was a girl, a little shorter than me, and was looking at me with a friendly smile.

“Hi. I am Amanda. I am in your English class. You wanna sit with me and my friends?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Sure.” I said.

We walked to the left corner of the cafeteria. There were about 10 people sitting there. Amanda introduced me to all of them, and then proceeded to introduce them to me, but I forgot all their names as soon as I heard them. Or perhaps I just wasn’t interested. I didn’t really make an effort to mingle with people. That was my basic nature and there was nothing that I could do about it.

All of them waved or smiled at me and I did the same. Finally I sat down, and thankfully, began to eat. The girl sitting next to me nudged me in the stomach, “So, how do you find Zelman’s High?” she asked me.

I was in the middle of taking a bite of my sandwich, and was stuck between taking the bite or answering her. I decided on the former. The bite also gave me the time to think about a diplomatic answer. “It’s nice.” I finally said.

“So have you checked everybody out?” she said, wagging her eyebrows and giving me a devilish smile.

“No, not really” the most checkable person happens to be my damn mate.

“Let me enlighten you.” She kind of pulled up her chair next to me and started.

“See that guy there? One in the black shirt? That’s jock no. 1. The best we have. Hot, sexy and powerful. He is the Alpha of this pack. Every good looking girl is gaga over him, but does he spare a glance? No. The name is Gabriel, by the way, but I am sure you already know that. Everybody knowa him. But he is taken. Found his mate two years ago. Can you believe it was in a club? There is this great club here called The Wolf’s Lair….”

I wasn’t really paying attention to her but the name Gabriel immediately caught my interest. And the mention of the club brought out a mixture of pleasant and unpleasant memories. Well, the girl was a good storyteller. I was totally hooked. I looked around to where my mate was sitting, with….. a girl on his lap. I tried to be indifferent about it but couldn’t. I had no control at the instant jealousy and hatred that swept through me just by looking at the girl.

“… and he was there chilling out with his friends when the girl walked in. I wasn’t there but they say she looked hot. She was here when we were young and then shifted somewhere. But now they are back. And he went up to her, and they talked for a while. He was totally smitten. The next thing people know, he is up on the stage and he dedicated the song to her.”

She looked at me expectantly. I swallowed the bile in my throat and said, “oh..oh, really?”

Why? Why did this happen to me? He thought I was Jessica and Jessica was me!!! Could life become any more complicated?

Apparently satisfied with my fake enthusiasm, she continued, “Oh yeah. The next day, her first day to school, they hooked up. Imagine, your first day to school and the hottest guy on the planet asks you out. Lucky bitch.”

I was struck dumb. I just sort of shook my head and widened my eyes to show her how surprised I was. My foot. I was raging with anger and grief. All I could think of was blood and murder of the girl sitting in my mate’s lap. How dare she assume my identity? How could she even think she could replace me and steal my mate?? And my stupid idiot mate, could he not even differentiate between his own mate and a common slut?

Well, too bad. Because there was no way in hell I was going to rectify his mistake. He thought he had a mate, what was wrong with that? Now, technically, he wouldn’t even look for me and I was doomed to spend the rest of my life in freedom and solace, nurturing my pack and fulfilling my duties as alpha till the end of eternity. Poor poor me. Not.

I was probably the happiest person alive that day. I looked at the girl and felt like kissing her. The bell rang, dispelling my thoughts. Time for class.

I walked out of the cafeteria with a huge smile plastered on my face.

 Maybe Mother Nature wasn't so cruel after all. Because the way I was looking at it, everyone had gotten what they wanted. It was a win-win.

And for the first time that day, I cracked an actual smile.