Floret | Completed ✓

10 | Yellow Carnation

⟶ LETTER ⟵

Dear Azalea,

I'm so sorry for everything. Bryan hasn't been speaking to me since he found out about the little stunt I pulled at the hospital last week. He barely calls or texts and I'm so worried because I think I might have dented our friendship.

I hope you're alright now, better than before. Last night, I was thinking about you. Actually, I think about you every night. I wonder if my face ever flashes in your mind. Azalea, I think I've fallen for you way too deep, and isn't that unhealthy?

A part of me wishes if you could read all these letters. That part also wants you to know how much I devote myself to you. I'm obsessed. When you hugged me in the hospital, It's like I was high, my mind was only chanting your name and my arms weren't believing it themselves, they were holding YOU.

Why does it all sound so dramatic when I write this? But what I feel matters, right? Because my feelings for you are a waterfall, they would never stop writhing through my veins. I never knew first love could do so much to you.

But what hurts the most is the thought of you never loving me back, maybe in tiniest pit of my heart I want you to acknowledge me as your lover. Okay, my whole heart wants that.

You have no idea how much delight and reverie you bring, your one grin can make my knees weak, your swift and beautiful hair can make me swoon. It's just the 'Azalea' effect.

I wish I wasn't afraid to let these feelings out, I want to love you and I want everyone to see how a flower must be cherished. I wish to hold you in my arms whenever and however. I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to

*RING* I suddenly jolted from my seat at the notification. My hands clasped my phone as I searched for the recent text, surprisingly it was from Bryan.

Bryan : meet me at the park near your house. let's talk.

Carson : okay :)

seen

I shoved the letter in my bag and threw it across the bed before running towards the front door. I hastily put on my shoes and sprinted out. My mind was at ease, Bryan finally texted me. I'll make this all right, I'm determined to.

I didn't walk, I ran to the park. I never realised until now, how desperate I was to be back with my best friend and to start messing around with him. I missed Bryan.

As I reached the Park, I hurriedly scanned the whole area but Bryan was nowhere in sight. I shrugged and took a seat on a nearby bench and waited. I waited and waited.

It has been an hour now, he didn't come. He never showed up and my heart crumbled. Bryan never stood me up, I really messed up this time.

Sulkily I walked back to my apartment complex before waving the security guard goodbye. As I entered my apartment, I never noticed how the kitchen light was left switched on, I made my way back to my bedroom and decided to finish the letter.

This was going to be my 20th letter to Azalea.

My hands became clammy and mind was fogged, my eyes were scanning the whole bedroom, because I couldn't find my bag. The bag all the letters were stuffed in, the bag that held my deepest secrets. 

I did a triple take, searching around the room in every possible spot, but I never found it.

And like a yellow carnation of disappointment, I slumped down. Tears forming in my eyes.