Regrets Preview

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HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! I'M GOING TO UPDATE RANDOMLY FOR A WHILE BUT HEY I'M STILL UPDATING SO AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Ben gets badly hurt in a mission trying to save Erica, and she feels terrible. She stays by his side hoping he'd wake up so she could thank him and tell him how she feels about him, since she'd always avoided doing so. This is her greatest regret and we're taken through her life in flashbacks while she waits for him, hoping he wakes up so she can finally come clean instead of hiding behind walls of ice. It'd be around 10 chapters I think. No scenes of but mentions of mature content and pre/post-scenes included so read at your own risk lol. Also, Jay, I didn't intend to put a big chunk of their relationship in at first but I decided to just for you homie, so you're welcome in advance lmao (you'll know what big chunk I mean when you read it, also this is a peace offering so maybe you could not comment everything that could be perceived as remotely dirty because I'm writing this late at night and might not catch everything to be able to fix it lol)

Room 96
CIA Infirmary
7:45 PM

Saturday
May 27th

Erica's POV:
That selfless idiot. That moronic teenage boy from Spy School, who was not so little anymore, I suppose. He was 27, and I, 29, could still not get used to the idea of that crushing 12 year old being an adult for around 9 years. My, how time flies.

But, back to insulting that dumbass. He had the audacity to try to save me on our last mission together. Thanks to his idiocy, he'd been rendered unconscious for around 7 months at that point . I was heartbroken and sick with worry. But did he wake up? Nope. That stubborn little butt-head remained knocked out. Having part of a building fall on you after getting shot will do that I suppose. But it's still really annoying, right?

I'd continued going on missions for a couple months, trying to keep him off my mind, but I was too distracted being worried about Ben, that I made mistakes. I got careless. Yes, I, Erica Hale, got careless. Get over it. The CIA top brass knew I was still an amazing agent and one of, if not their best, agent(s). But they also knew me being assigned on missions while I was worried about Ben wouldn't work; I just couldn't keep my focus on the directive. Hence why my grandfather Cyrus Hale, got them to give me paid time off until Ben woke up or until I could focus again. I protested and said the missions were the only thing keeping me sane without him, but the brass agreed with Cyrus.

I was officially "on vacation," as I've been told it's called. (That was a joke. Kind of.)

Let me explain better why I was so worried about Ben.

Now, before you get excited, no, we were not dating or in a romantic relationship. I know a lot of you who somehow know of our existence and childhood missions, yacht us together or- something to do with boats I think, but we'd never even been on a real, official date in my books.

We'd gone out to eat at fancy restaurants and gone to the movies and etc. and while Ben considered them dates, I refused to. I couldn't go on dates. I was Erica freaking Hale. I had to be on my game at all times, no excuses, no distractions. To me they were simply "hang-outs"(I think I used that right) with a very good friend (that I may or may not have had feelings for but could never act on for the safety of the world).

So no, Ben was not my boyfriend. But he was my guy best friend, with- um... some benefits... we'll call it. The two of us liked each other romantically and we, and everyone else, were aware of these feelings. But seeing as we were professionals, and professional spies at that, we decided not to date officially. (Yes, me more than we, but he understands) Plus, we found other ways to express these emotions to each other with the occasional drunken trips to one of our apartments and with dating or married aliases to avoid further suspicion from targets in case feelings broke through when under pressure.

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