COMMAND

Sixteen

THREE MONTHS LATER

I raised the back of my hand to my mouth and stifled a yawn. I had woken up this morning before my alarm could wake me up. It was a continuous occurrence for three months now. I had another one of those dream-filled nights where I'd woken up sweating or aroused. Every dream had me either pinned against the wall or completely submitted to Rogue Slade. I hadn't uttered that name in three months.

The dreams about him didn't happen as often as they had in the first few weeks that he dumped me at the hospital, but they still happened regularly. It had become so normal that I'd stopped thinking about the wicked things I fantasied about Rogue Slade. Really, any sensible woman would forget about him after what he did.

But three days ago, someone just had to talk about him at the office, despite doing everything I could to stay clear of anything that had to do with him; even gave up on my project and the future ones that tied to him. All of that, and it had to take one conversation and one glance at his picture, then everything had completely loosened. It triggered something inside me. It was as though what I had tried to forget and move on from, something that I did so well to hold down had risen from the very depths of my heart, and I couldn't push it back where it belonged.

Where was he now? What was he doing? Did he regret everything he had done? Was he ever sorry for how he had treated me?

Even though Hanna didn't remember anything that happened, that the only thing she could remember was that night she was walking to my flat and then waking up at the hospital, I still couldn't believe Rogue had nothing to do with it. I still felt in my heart that he was guilty, so why was I thinking about him in a way that I shouldn't be? I disgusted myself in every way. I was pissed at myself. Rogue Slade had no place in my head or my heart.

My co-worker, Erica, stopped pacing in my cubicle and plopped down in the chair facing my desk, pulling my attention to her. "Robert is moving mad now. Everything I do, he says I should do it like you. He compares every idea of mine to yours," she fumed, her delicate features matching her frustration. "You should just take back the project, Beth."

"I can't. You've worked hard on it for the last three months and you're at the end. I can't swoop in and take it back. Besides, you really did a good job. Just forget Robert. He will come down from it."

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, then pushed her dark hair aside to rub her neck. "Remind me why you gave it away again? It's a great project, one that might have moved you up."

I shrugged, chewing the inside of my lip. "It wasn't the right time. I was going through something personal, and I didn't think I could shoulder that responsibility anymore." More like I didn't want anything to do with Rogue and his company. There could have been a chance that I might bump into him, which was why I avoided the project like the plague.

"Have I told you that I met Rogue once? It was just briefly but god," she gushed out, brown eyes sparkling and her cheeks rosy. "He was perfect and intimidating, although, he was very charming and gave off a cool guy vibe. He complimented my clothes and said he liked my bow. Why do you think I started wearing bows?"

My stomach knotted at the mention of his name, and I almost snorted. Charming and cool. Of course. It was his favorite persona. I wouldn't blame Erica for falling for it. If I didn't know him and met him, I would have believed that he was indeed perfect, but after knowing what I did, I wouldn't put anything nice in the same sentence with him.

I smelled Hanna's perfume before she appeared in front of me with a bouquet of flowers in hand. Lilacs. The scent wafted around my cubicle, and I breathed it in. She looked better than she had ever done. She had moved on from what happened three months ago and never attempted to talk about it. I wish I knew if she was really alright. I couldn't even ask her. She always seemed moody every time someone talked about it or even hinted at it, so we all left her alone, feigning ignorance.