Training The Ensign

TTE: 14

Chapter Fourteen: Comfort

I dragged kuya out of the monster's house before he could do something worse. We went to the hospital after that. I'm still not sure on how to properly treat my mom since she just went through a very traumatic experience. It's exams tomorrow and all I can think about was the horrible things my father did to our family.

"You're pale, Ri. Stop reading first, please," Nova pleaded while getting the book away from my hold.

"I need to study. Hindi ako nakapag-aral kahapon," pilit ko.

It's a good thing that I read when I was at the coffee shop. But it wasn't enough since my mind's controlled by my emotions.

"Namumutla ka na, 'te! Tama na muna."

"Nova's right, Ri. Twenty minutes pa naman bago mag-start ang exam. Umiglip ka muna," Stella calmly said.

"I should be spending those twenty minutes on reading—"

"Just please, Rilynn! Kuya Rolie texted me that you didn't even sleep last night! So please, matulog ka muna."

I just nodded and did as I was told since hindi naman ako titigilan nina Stella at Nova. I slept for about fifteen minutes before starting the exam.

"Namumutla ka pa rin, Ri. Punta na kaya tayo sa clinic?" Yaya sa'kin ni Nova habang naglalakad kami palabas ng campus. It's eleven o'clock and the last exam just finished.

"I need to attend the meeting in CAT. Importante pa naman daw 'yon," paliwanag ko.

Nag-message sa group chat si Ma'am Poliyo na mayroong biglaang short meeting sa CAT ngayon and she's expecting all of us to attend. I can't say that I can't attend dahil baka mamaya may demerit 'yon.

"Bahala ka nga, ang kulit mo. Basta hintayin kita sa kiosk, ha." I nodded and waved at Nova before turning my back from her.

My head hurts but I really need to attend this meeting. Pupunta pa 'kong ospital mamaya to check on Mom. She's at her weakest and she needs us right now.

"COCCs!"

"Ma'am COCCs, Ma'am!"

"Your exams in CAT has two parts. Ang isa ay ang physical examination at 'yung isa naman ay intellectual. So 'yung physical ay nahahati sa dalawa," Ma'am Poliyo explained.

"The first physical test is drills. 'Yun 'yung mga tinuturo namin sainyo, 'yung mga lakad-patakda, gano'n.  The second is rifle drills. Port arms, right side arms and so on."

"Urgent 'to dahil we forgot to tell you the pointers sa intellectual examination. So ang una ay ang dumguard knowledge niyo, automatic na 'yon na lahat kailangan aralin. Rifle parts, kasama din. Ano pa ba?" Tanong ni Ma'am Poliyo kay Sir Yumang.

"Demerits, Chain of Commands pa," sagot niya kay Ma'am Poliyo.

"Ah, tama, ayon. Kasama rin ang Map Reading, AFP History, First Aid atsaka Navy Terms. Understood?"

"Ma'am aye aye Ma'am."

After she explained everything she needed to explain, pinauwi niya na kami.

"I'm back na," masayang sabi ko kay Nova. I need to act as if I'm okay to stop her from worrying. Knowing Nova, isasabay niya 'ko pauwi sa driver nila.

"Oh, okay ka na ba? Kaya mo mag-commute?" Nag-aalalang tanong niya. I nodded and smiled at her bago siya hatakin palabas ng university gate.

"Sure ka ha? Sabay na kasi kita..."

"Okay na 'ko, Nov. Sige na, bye-bye!" She waved at me before going inside the car.

Bumuntong hininga ako habang naglalakad patawid ng school. Kuya Rolie can't fetch me right now dahil gabi pa ang last subject niya sa school. College life, I guess.

"You're good at lying."

Napalingon ako sa nagsalita. Allistaire. He's wearing our school uniform but in a boy version uniform and his hair is kinda messy, unlike the style he usually has tuwing training.

"What?" I asked.

"You don't look okay to me, Mendoza. You're pale," he said with a quite obvious tone.

"I'm fine naman, e. And why are you talking to me now?"

He doesn't talk to me. Pinapalayo pa nga niya 'ko. He's actually weird, you know.

"Am I not allowed to?" He asked back.

His eyes were away, gazing to the vehicles passing by.

"No... I mean you don't actually talk to me."

"Well, I do now," pa-cool niyang sabi.

Tumango nalang ako habang naghihintay na may dumaan na jeep. Ba't ang tagal ng jeep, ha? Paki-bilisan po. May epal na umaaligid sa'kin.

"Allistaire..." tawag ko sa kaniya.

He faced me with an unknown expression. Oh, shit! I should've addressed him as Raiz or Sir, atleast.

"I mean, Raiz, or Sir Gonazales, or whatever! How should I call you?"

I glanced at him while tapping my fingers to each other. Nakaka-kaba naman kasi tumingin 'tong si Allistaire.

"Allistaire. Call me Allistaire when we're outside the campus," he said while looking at me intently.

I nodded and continued what I have to say. "Can we be... friends?" I asked.

I'm very sure that my face looks very red. Pride at kahihiyan, nasa'n na kayo?

He looked at me with a shock expression. Maybe not expecting the words I just said.

"I mean, if you don't like to, don't answer me nalang."

I bit my lips, ashamed of myself. I should really stop talking, I'm making the atmosphere worst! I looked down, staring at my feet while scratching both of my palms together.

A jeepney just stopped in front of us ngunit hindi pa rin nagsasalita si Allistaire. Maybe he doesn't want to be friends with me, 'no? I feel so pathetic and embarassed.

I was about to walk away from him para makasakay na sa dyip nang biglang hatakin ni Allistaire ang pulso ko pabalik sa puwesto ko kanina.

"Sure. You're still young pa naman," he said while showing me his familiar smirk.

He let go of my wrist then walked away from me to ride the jeepney that just stopped by.

Nakatunganga akong sumakay rin sa dyip na sinakyan niya. He cutely grinned at me before answering his phone call. Shemay ka, Rilynn! Tama na ang titig!

I stared at the roof of the jeepney while analyzing the things that just happened today. Exams that made me feel sick, headache from the sleepless night, friends who'd stay by my side for better or for worse, my messed up family, and Allistaire who's making me feel unbearable happiness that I never felt for quite a while.

I felt the comfort no one has made me feel for a long time. I felt like something's been raised from me, away from me. I never thought that a simple conversation can lift up your spirit. A simple act from someone you like can make you feel the happiness you once searched for. Simple things can make you the happiest person...

But still, I feel okay yet still empty. I feel fine yet I still crave for something. Something that's missing and something that I want to feel again.

Something I know, I will not feel for a long time. I hope I will. Maybe if I feel that kind of happiness again, there's a hope for me to fall inlove with the things I surround with. Maybe I can forgive and just burn the bad memories with the people I want to forget.

Lots of maybes, lots of hope, lots of dreams, but one thing's for sure. There's a chance in everything. Circumstances, chances and hope. That's what I'm holding on to.

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