Please... make it stop... it hurts... | Depressed Deku AU

Chapter Four

Izuku's POV

My eyes shoot open. I wake up In a blindingly bright white room. Which I will assumed is a hospital room. I quickly squeezed my eyes shut, so I don't get blinded.

I take in a deep raspy breath, and Everything that happened before I Blacked out is beginning to come back to me. 

'I thought I died. Why am I alive? OH GOD MOM!' I thought to myself. 

I quickly shot up like a bullet and to franticly look around, I was hyperventilating. 

After a few minutes of panicking, I calmed down. Then I examined myself, I saw my thin legs are carefully bandaged. I peeled back one of the bandages to reveal a pretty nasty cut. I couldn't help but laugh at how pathetic I am.

I felt like throwing up as the pain hit my chest. I tried to stand but was stopped by something pulling at my arm. 

it was a IV. there were 3 of them, two on my left arm and one on my right.

I hurriedly took them out and ran into the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and locked it. the need to throw up intoxicating me. as soon as I got to the toilet I shoved my middle finger down my throat and threw up. 

after I was finished, I felt even worse. 

my legs hurt a lot and I felt a little dizzy. my head also was pounding, and everything was spinning. so, I decided to go lay back down on the bed. 

as soon as my head hit the pillow I was hit with a wave of dark and negative thoughts.

'SHUT UP!!' I yelled in my head, I knew it wouldn't do anything but I couldn't help it...

After a few more minutes of this mental torment I eventually fell into a dreamless sleep, hoping it would last forever...

Katsuki's POV

after hearing about what the damn nerd did I didn't leave my room for the rest of the week. 

I've spent the whole week staring at the wall and mumbling 'the nerd really tried to kill himself'. over and over again I repeated that, as if it would change the fact that he did try and kill himself. and it's all my fault that he did.

'He has been cutting himself'

it's all my fault

'He hates you'

it's all my fault

'He will never think of you as a friend'

it's all my fault

'he tried to kill himself because of you'

it's all my fault...

I stayed in that state for a whole week, I barely ate anything. the guilt rising up in my chest. 

I started to realize what the nerd was actually like, he doesn't think he's better than me. he doesn't think I'm weak. he just wanted to have a friend. and I was never that friend. 

I treated him like a piece of shit. and I even drove him to cutting and fucking suicide!! 

what kind of monster am I...? I don't deserve to be called human. and I definitely don't deserve Izuku's friendship...

~~~~

*kicks down door*

Hi readers, I hope you are like this story, I'm having a lot of fun writing it.

I love the idea of sad and guilty Bakugou so expect some of that~ 

thanks for reading, bye~