Tainted Wings: Book Two (18+)

Chapter 23

VIRAGO

Every day felt like it was all meshed together. My hollow chest and body continued to suffer until I grew numb to the pain. I didn't scream anymore. I didn't cry. When Lucifer used my body, I felt nothing. I eat when he feeds me. I don't say anything unless I'm spoken to. He eventually turned me into a robot I never wanted to be.

He left me yet again, naked in bed while I continued to repeat their names. They're the only ones that were keeping me from losing my sanity.

"Sloth...Greed...Lust..." I whispered, staring out the window. "Envy...um...Wrath...Gluttony and...and Pride."

Blinking slowly, I hummed a lullaby I remembered from the coma. I don't remember how I made it up, but I do remember singing it to my kids. Even though Lucifer was right, even if I never had kids, I don't want to forget their names. I want to remember everything I can, especially them. If only...if only I could go back to that. I wish I could see them again.

"Boys...if you're real...I hope you're all doing well," I whispered.

The moment Lucifer walked back inside I closed my mouth shut. My eyes widened as he untied me. He hasn't let me go since the day he ripped that paper apart. Picking me up, he carried me to the lake. Not even his skin on mine made me excited anymore.

I stood there, letting him bathe me and heal my bruises. He hasn't healed my wrists though, as a reminder that I shouldn't disobey him. I hated this. I hate how different he was.

Something flashed at the corner of my eyes. I looked up and gasped, "Lust!"

Pulling my body away from Lucifer, I took a few steps towards my child. Lust was still a toddler, still running around naked.

"Mama!" he laughed. "No clothes for Lust!"

"Lust, wait!"

Lucifer held my shoulder and pulled me back. "Virago, what are you saying?"

"Didn't you see Lust?" I asked with a smile. "I just saw him running!"

Lucifer looked around in confusion. "There's no one here."

Turning around, I was going to prove he was wrong but Lust disappeared. "He was...he was just running in the grass! I have to get his clothes! Did you put them out to dry yet? Or maybe he threw out his clothes somewhere again."

If Lust doesn't have his clothes back on soon, he's going to continue running away. I can't risk him getting lost in the woods. Taking a few steps towards the edge of the lake, I grew excited to hug my baby boy. He must be hiding from me somewhere, but I can still hear him giggling. All of this just because he hated wearing clothes. Like mother, like son. I did the same when I was a toddler as well.

Lucifer snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me back again. "Virago, it's only us here."

Only us?

I blinked. Lust's giggling faded away. He's right. My children should be adults, not kids. I stood still, disappointed in myself. Lucifer continued to clean me up until finally, I was able to walk on my own to our little house. Sitting on the bed, I sighed as I brushed my hair out. My skin pulled on the scabs around my wrists and I winced. Lucifer ignored my pain though, handing me a new dress.

He kissed my forehead. "I have to go on a small trip to Hell. I'll be back in a few hours, my love."

"Okay."

Standing up, I slid the dress on as I looked outside the window. Lucifer walked up towards the woods. His wings spread open and he jumped in the air, disappearing into the sky. Was that how he always went to Hell? Maybe so.

Turning around, I gasped. Sloth laid in my bed, sleeping on his stomach.

How old was he? Eight?

"Sloth?" I whispered, walking towards him. "You have to wake up now or–"

I rested my hand on his back but he disappeared. Crying, I clutched the bedsheets. "No! Come back!"

Holding the sheets to my chest, tears morphed around my eyes. "Where did you go?"

The sound of giggling mixed together with running footsteps. It emerged outside of my bedroom. Greed and Gluttony, both barely ten years old, ran across the hallway.

Opening the door wider, I poked my head outside. "Boys! No running in the...house?"

No one stood at the end of the hall. What the hell was going on? They looked real enough. A large ache in my head morphed slowly. Sighing, I rubbed my temples as I walked out in the front. Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before releasing it.

Opening my eyes, I found five year old Wrath picking grass. Grinning, I ran up to him and opened my arms. But seconds away from hugging him, he was gone.

"No...no!" I punched the ground. "You were right here!"

"Mother!"

Jumping slightly, I turned around. Pride stood on the roof waving eggs in his hands. "Don't tell Father I'm up here! I'm going to drop these on his head!"

"Pride, he went to Hell. You should get down from–"

He also disappeared. I'm going crazy aren't I? But what if they're back and it's just their new powers? What if they're just pulling one of those silly pranks on me? Walking inside the cottage, I found Greed and Gluttony, both arguing about who was born first. I blinked once and they were gone.

Something poked my leg. Turning around, I looked down and Envy, who I believe was four years old, pouted at me.

"Envy?"

"Mama, why I last?

Sniffling, I squatted down and rubbed the new tears away. "You were just born last, sweetie. Your father and I couldn't control who was born."

His saddened eyes dropped to the floor. "Oh."

Reaching my hand forward, I smiled a bit. Maybe he was real. My fingers almost brushed his cheek but as soon as I touched him, he was gone. Sobbing, I grabbed at the mist, trying my best to bring him back. But to no avail.

Standing up, I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging it until I inflicted pain. "I just want them back!"

Why was this happening? Why does this have to be my normal now? I don't understand it. Walking into my bedroom, I slammed the door behind me and jumped in bed. Ignoring the pain in my wrists, I wrapped myself in my blanket and cried silently into the pillow.

What if they're dead and that was their ghosts? Was I unable to protect them? What if I'm just imagining it all? Or maybe I'm just dreaming like Lucifer said.

Sighing, I clenched my eyes closed, falling asleep with my tears keeping me company.