The Run and Go - Twenty One Pilots

Chapter Nine

He wouldn't let go of my small frame. His long breaths swung my body back and forth. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to experience what was going to happen next. I felt like I had broken a promise- even though we had never made one. He was worried about me and I just threw him away.

My body was suddenly replaced with cold, empty air. I felt myself starting to shake a little. Tyler wasn't like Josh. Josh was more of a laid-back, forgiving free-spirit. Tyler... Tyler was more uptight. He worried more. I always knew why they were such a good pair. They balanced eachother out.

"I'm so sorry, Tyler," I said, feeling a flood rush into my bottom eyelids.

"For what?" he said trying to make eye contact, which I avoided. "What happened to you?" he asked. He took my wrist in his hand, pulling me into his bedroom and shutting the door. I sat down on his bed, which I immediately regretted. Now he was standing in front of me and I felt even more scared.

"I was... um... I was raped," I said, finally meeting his eyes to see his reaction, which I had no preparation for- whatever it was.

He stood there for a moment- processing, I guessed. He came over to hug me again, but it felt so wrong. I squirmed out of his touch. I didn't deserve it. He looked entirely confused.

"Oh," he said, looking like he just made a realization. "You feel weird when people touch you now? It's okay."

He was wrong, but it was a good guess. I was about to correct him, but I didn't know how.

"Who the hell did this to you?!" he said getting up, anger starting to flow in. It was always like this. It was always how he reacted. He would act all calm and emotional, then the irritation would set in. "I swear I'll kill him. Did you get kidnapped or... what even happened?"

I took a deep breath. "I was um... at the bar on Lakers Street." He didn't say anything, but he squinted his eyes at me. I kept on going. "It was that guy I texted you about. I think while I was in the bathroom he put something in my drink and then later I got really tired and he took me up to the roof and I passed out. I know I was stup-"

"Seriously, Jessica?!" he spoke loudly, making me cringe. "Of course that's fucking stupid," he said like he didn't even know me or even cared about my feelings- a stranger.

"Did you really think it was a good idea to just fucking leave your drink out?!" His question wasn't rhetorical. He stared at me until I responded. With my eyes heavy with water, I slowly shook my head, only looking to the ground.

"I thought you were smarter than that. I can't believe I fucking sat here worrying for two days because of you."

He might as well as stabbed me in the throat. I couldn't speak, which was fine because I couldn't think of a right thing to say. I felt his eyes on me- staring me down. I finally decided to respond for the first time.

"I'm sorry you were worrying about me," I said extremely quietly. If I had said it any louder, my voice would have cracked.

"I am too."

I couldn't believe him. He didn't have any sympathy at all. None. I looked into his eyes and I saw something. It looked like he had a second person inside of him, trying to communicate with me. He was showing fury at the moment, but behind his eyes, another part of him looked like he was trying to say something, something like "sorry". Why couldn't he say it on the outside? Why did he have these two characters and why did one always have to take over the other?

I stood up and went for the door. There was more I had to tell him, but it would only cause more problems and my heart couldn't take any more.

When I was about to shut the door behind me, I heard him speak again.

"You should stay here. It um... it isn't safe to go back by yourself," he said in a shy tone.

We made eye contact once more. Then I shut the door behind me.

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i almost started crying while I was writing this it was so sad. i hope you are have a good day and thanks for reading!!

-katie

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