My Life, in Ruins

My Life, in Ruins -Chapter four-

Friday was a game. Coach had been working us hard all week and we were having a weigh in before we could put our uniforms on. During a weigh in coach made us come out into the gym with our underwear on and step onto the scale. Fat cheerleaders weren’t allowed on her squad so we did this sort of thing every week before a game. She called a few girls before me and announced their weights for the whole squad to hear. Priscilla was right before me, she stepped on the scale and closed her eyes.
“110.” Coach called. I saw Priscilla’s face fall.
“We’re going to have to work you harder,” Coach said, patting Priscilla’s stomach. “You can loose eight pounds and still be at an ideal weight.”
As she marched off to the locker room to put her uniform on I could see her holding back tears. Priscilla liked to be the best at everything she did and I knew she was going to kill herself trying to get those pounds off. I almost felt bad for her…almost.
“Bree, your turn.” Coach called.
I slowly walked over to the scale and let all my breath out, not wanting to have any access weight. I kept my eyes closed really tight until I heard the coach say,
“102, keep up the good work Bree.”
I sucked in a breath and frowned. 102, that was good, sure, but it wasn’t perfect. I could do better. I followed the other girls who had already weighed in, into the locker room. We spent the next hour gussying ourselves up for the game until coach came in and told us it was time to go out. We spent the first two quarters cheering on our boys, I saw Clay a number of times smiling and waving at me like a fool. I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me smile every time he did that. I don’t know when it was that I noticed him, but I was very aware of Ian, Annie, Ron, this black haired girl I didn’t recognize along with a very pretty blonde I didn’t recognize, and Ray sitting in the stands together. It was obvious that they didn’t really enjoy the game and they had probably just come here because it was something to do, but I saw Ian watching me and I have to admit, it kind of made me antsy.
My mom was also out in the stands and she was on the phone, probably with her work. She might have become a party animal after her and dad split but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t still totally invested in her job. We were up by two touchdowns when the buzzer finally rang, signaling halftime. Coach called us together into a group and had us walk out onto the field. It was time for our halftime show.
“Hey Bree!” Coach called as we were walking.
“Yes?” I said, turning to see what she wanted.
“I want you to do the twisting double before the stunt instead of just the twist. You’ve been working on that right?”
I nodded, “Yea, but I don’t have it totally perfect…” I began to tell her.
“I don’t care, make it perfect and do it.”
I nodded again and ran to join the group. The music started and we began our dance routine, as the music got closer and closer to the part where I would have to do the double twisting layout I felt my hands start to sweat. If I screwed up in front of all these people I would never live this down. The part came, I ran and executed a perfect back hand-spring and then double twisting layout into a back walk-over where my stunt group grabbed my legs and threw me up into a full. It was there, in the stunt, right before I was suppose to do a kick-twist cradle, when I was thinking “yes I did it” that my whole world started spinning and I passed out.

I woke up in the hospital with a bunch of tubes in my arms and with that annoying beeping sound signaling that my heart was still working. I looked around and saw a nurse or doctor, writing some stuff down on a chart.
“Excuse me?” I croaked.
I cleared my throat and tried again. “Excuse me, can you tell me what happened?”
She looked up from writing on her chart and smiled at me.
“Welcome back. You passed out from exhaustion, luckily you didn’t fall though, the girls holding you up caught you. They said they thought you were dropping,”
“Cradling.” I corrected.
“Right, cradling early and when they realized you had passed out they had your coach call 911.”
“My coach called 911?” I asked.
“Yea, that’s what they said.”
I pondered this for a second. “I’ve never passed out from exhaustion before.” I told her.
“Well, your body is also severely under-nourished. You have no body fat, which I’m assuming is from your hard work outs in cheerleading, and that’s fine. Lots of gymnasts have no body fat as well but you they substitute a high protein diet and make sure to keep their Iron up.”
I looked at the tubes in my arms again. “What are these things doing?”
“Well one is hydrating you and the other one is making sure your body is being balanced. Its pumping vitamins and such into your bloodstream.”
I closed my eyes and swallowed, my throat was kind of sore. I felt the sting of the needles in my arms and focused on that. If I squeezed my hands into fists it made the stinging increase, when I released, the stinging went away. I must have been doing that for fifteen minutes before I heard the door to my room open and close. I opened my eyes to see my dad standing there. My heart stopped. I hadn’t seen my dad in so long. Sure I heard him and mom fighting the other day, but I didn’t see him. I couldn’t face him without feeling all the hate and hurt resurface like it was now. He left me, he abandoned me and left me with her. He took my sister and left me.
“What are you doing here?” I hissed.
“I’m coming to get you, the doctor called me and said that you can be released.”
“Where’s mom?” I asked. “She was at the game.”
Dad shrugged and looked around the room, I could tell he was nervous. “I don’t know, I guess she didn’t come. You know how your mom is.”
‘Yea,” I spit. “I do know how she is.”
He didn’t seem to understand the double meaning of that sentence.
“Well I’m going to go fill out your release papers and then I’ll bring you home.”
By the time I was released I was so mad; at my mom, for leaving me at the game after I passed out. At my dad for everything that he’s ever done to me. And at the damn doctors for filling me up with fluids because now I was going to have to work all those extra calories off. We had just left the parking lot when I decided home is not where I wanted to be. I didn’t want to see my mom and I wanted to spent the least time with my dad so I made a snappy decision.
“Dad, will you drop me off at a friend’s house?”
“Sure sweetie.” He said.
I waited until he pulled away before I went up to the door. It was only after I knocked that I thought “what if he’s not here?” but I didn’t have to worry about it for too long because three seconds later the door opened to reveal a shirtless (of course) Ian with his black hair all messy and a cocky smile on his face. I noticed that he wasn’t wearing his usual skinny jeans but instead loose, pajama pants.
“Hey.” He said.
“Hey.” I replied, stepping into his house.

I wasn’t going to spend the night, I didn’t do sleepovers; especially with a guy that I was just using for fun. A few hours later he was sleeping and I was left there alone to think about everything. I climbed out of his bed and fumbled around in the dark for my clothes but could only find my panties and Ian’s shirt.
I pulled that on and tripped through his room to his bedroom door. I was going to leave, but first I had to pee. The hallway was dimly lit, but at least I could see better than in his room. I tip-toed as quietly as possible because I didn’t want to attract the attention of his very large, very mean looking dog. When I finally found the bathroom it was locked. I jiggled the doorknob for a few seconds and the sighed and leaned against the wall. The door opened and that pretty blonde girl that was sitting with Ian and his friends earlier stepped out. She was wearing a long t-shirt and those long knee socks. She smiled at me as I stared at her.
“Uh--” I said, feeling like a deer caught in headlights.
Oh my god, this was bad. Was this one of Ian’s girlfriends or something? Did she go to my school? She was going to tell everyone about seeing me here.
“Hi, I’m Jessica.” She said. “I guess this is a more awkward way to finally meet you. I saw you at the game.”
She held out her hand so I reached out and shook it, not thinking about anything.
“Bree.” I said.
“I know.” She replied. “Ian told me.”
I nodded, eyeing her suspiciously still. “I’m sorry, who are you?” I asked.
“I’m Ian’s sister.” She laughed. “I’m sure he doesn’t talk about me.”
“His sister?” I asked baffled.
I mean this girl was totally opposite of him. She had delicate blue eyes and soft looking skin, her hair was blonde, more the color of mine than anything. Honestly, if we were in a room together, she could be mistaken as my sister.
“Yea, I know we look nothing alike.”
I shook my head, “No, you have the same eyes.”
She smiled and looked me over. “You go to my school?” I asked.
She nodded and then looked me in the eyes.
“Don’t worry, I wont tell anyone about you being here. I know that would be like a sin or something for you.”
I actually laughed when she said that. “How come I never see you around?” I asked her.
Like I said before, she was gorgeous. I was surprised she didn’t hang out with me and mine.
“I tend to stick with by myself, and I’m a Senior, so I only have three classes at school anyways.”
I nodded and crossed my legs. I really had to pee now, stupid fluids.
“So, I’m gonna go-” I said, pointing towards the door.
“Right,” Jessica said. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
“Yea,” I said back. “See ya.”
After I got out of the bathroom I went back into Ian’s room and grabbed my purse off of his night stand and then called a cab. I had managed to find my cheer bag but hadn’t been able to find my bra or my own shirt. The can arrived ten minutes later and I got out of Ian’s house without being attacked by his dog. I paid the driver when we got to my house and ran inside and right up to my bedroom. Damn doctor’s said I had to eat more, and what the hell had happened with my mom? I locked myself in my bathroom and fell against the door. My life was in ruins as of right now, but I couldn’t care less. I picked myself up off the ground and dug in my medicine cabinet, popped two pills in my mouth, and then hung out for an hour or so with my sharp little best friend.

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