My Life, in Ruins

My Life, in Ruins -Chapter twenty-

  Clay had to ditch Kerrie, much to her dismay, but once he was free of her he followed Ian and I in his car to my house, to let the dogs out to pee really quick, and then to my sister’s house, to pick Seth up. Ian and I rode in silence, but Seth on the other hand, jabbered the entire way to the clinic. Whenever I glanced over at Ian he was smiling fondly at the little boy that could possibly be his.
Waiting for the orders to go back to see the doctor was the most agonizing. I sat in between Ian and Clay with Seth on my lap, bouncing up and down on my knee. Both guys had their arms on my arm rests and I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic.

“Can I hold him?” Clay suddenly asked.

I looked over at him to see if he was serious and saw that he was looking down at Seth the same way Ian had been earlier.

“Yea sure.” I said, handing him over to Clay and then watching to make sure he didn’t drop him.

I felt Ian breathing on my neck and when I turned my head around our faces were much closer than I had expected them to be. We stayed like that, eyes locked and lips inches apart, until someone called my name from the reception desk. My head snapped up at attention.

“The doctor is ready to see you now.”

Just as promised, the actually swabbing was simple and easy and while we were there Dr. Jerkin’s set me up with a pediatrician for Seth to make sure he was still healthy. He had recovered nicely from his chest infection, but there was still a chance he could get it back. As we were leaving the clinic, Clay stopped to look at me.

“I just want you to know that if Seth is mine I’m going to be there for you. I know you don’t see me in the romantic sense but that doesn’t mean that I wont be there for him.”

He looked fondly at my son and then back up at me. “Thanks, Clay.” I said, and I meant it.

He nodded and then jogged to his car. When he was gone I stole a glance at Ian who had a solemn expression on his face.

“Oh now what?” I asked him. “You’re the one who wanted me to get the test done and now you’re mad that Clay wants to be there if Seth is his?”

I stormed off before he could answer, strapping Seth into his car seat. When I closed the door Ian grabbed my arms and gently slammed me against the car.

“No, I’m not angry that Clay would be there for Seth. Seth deserves to have a father in his life, especially one as good as Clay would be. I was upset because him saying that to you made me realize how much I want Seth to be mine.”

My eyes widened in shock. “Why?” I asked him.

“Because,” He whispered, leaning closer to me. “I love you.” And with that he crashed his lips into mine.

My lips responded to his immediately and my hands flew up and buried into his hair. He moaned against my lips and I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. I had missed this, so, so much. We continued kissing against my car for the next five minutes and then finally I pulled away.

“Come to my house?” I asked.

He smiled. “Of course.”


I watched Ian make dinner that night, which was pretty hilarious, and then we ate and watched movie after movie on TV. Some were comedy, some were romantic, some horror, some romantic comedies, but eventually my eyes grew heavy and my head started to droop onto his shoulder. I woke up when I felt my body lifted from the couch and then placed in my bed. Ian kissed my forehead and then my lips lightly and pulled away to leave. I moved as fast as I could, and grabbed his arm.

“Please stay.” I begged.

In my head, I realized the irony of this situation, but I was way too tired to care. Ian stripped down to his boxers and then joined me in my bed, cuddling me from behind. He kissed the spot right below my ear and then buried his face in the back of my neck.

“Night Bree.”

“Night Ian.”


Seth woke up once during the night but Ian got up to take care of him. At first, I was grateful for not having to get up, but then I realized that he knew nothing about babies and crawled from my bed and zombie-walked over to his room only to see Ian staring at a diaper with a confused look on his face.

“Need some help?” I asked.

He looked over at me startled and I saw a light blush creep onto his cheeks. “I hate to admit this because I’m going to feel stupid, but I have no idea how this works.”

I walked over to Ian, kissed his cheek, and then grabbed the diaper from him and pushed him out of my way. I had Seth changed in less than a minute and then cradled in my arms. He stared up at me with his big, blue eyes and I found myself wishing harder than I’ve ever wished that he was Ian’s.

“You know,” Ian began, as if reading my mind. “Even if he’s Clay’s…I’m not going anywhere.”

I felt the tears leak from my eyes and leaned back into Ian. Seth refused to go back to sleep, and because I was so damn exhausted I caved and brought him to bed with Ian and I. He laid in between us, cooing and playing with his feet and when I woke up in the morning to my alarm clock and both him and Ian were gone. I found them in the living room with Jasmine and Rylee; Ian was feeding Seth a bottle looking like a pro and I could only imagine that Jasmine taught him.

“Morning sleepyhead. Going to start getting ready for school?” Jasmine asked when she caught sight of me.

I noticed my dogs sleeping on the floor in front of Ian’s feet. They liked to be near Seth at all times.

“Yea, I’m about to. Are you going to get ready too?” I asked Ian.

“No, I’m suspended for the week. Do you mind if I stay with Seth?” He asked.

“Well Seth is going to Jasmine’s…” I began.

“ I can stay here.” She piped. “We can go to the park and everything.”

I looked between the two of them and then nodded. “Okay, I don’t mind if you stay.” I told Ian. “I’ll even bring home all of your work.”

He groaned and then smiled back at me. My heart doubled in speed and my stomach erupted into butterflies. Seth reached up and touched Ian’s face which caused Ian to break his gaze from me and move it down to my son…possibly our son. I could get used to this, I realized. Having Ian around all the time.
The thought shook me to the core because I was setting myself up for hurt. Sure, Ian said he’d stay even if Seth wasn’t his, but what if he didn’t? I didn’t know if I could handle that or not.


The rest of the week went by with unusual speed and utter weirdness; Ian was at my house all the time and Clay was over almost as much. When I got out of school on Friday I headed straight home ready to relax and enjoy my time with my two favorite boys only to find a note waiting for me on the fridge. I threw the mail down on the counter and grabbed the note:

~Ian, the babies, dogs, and I went to Ian’s house and then to the beach. Meet us there?~

I smiled and skipped to my room changing from my school clothes into my newest bikini and then covering it up with white shorts and a slip-top. When I tracked back into the kitchen I noticed one particular piece of mail and picked it up. The mail-back address was from the hospital. The paternity results were in; Seth’s father had been determined.