Finding Her

Chapter 5

"Dinner was great, I swear I've never eaten a steak that huge before." I exclaimed while laughing. "Tonight couldn't be more perfect."

She smiled softly, "No, it couldn't be. If only we could've stayed together."

I saw something dark stir in her eyes. She shook her head very slightly and smiled again before grabbing my hand. We walked down the cobblestone path in silence for awhile. Her hand was so warm in mine and I didn't want to ever let go. Why did I let her go? I was such a fool to let go of someone so wonderful. No, she wasn't perfect, Lana had her flaws, but she was still so amazing. She mystified me, had me in awe with just her smile and her laugh. I couldn't have found anyone better to be the mother of my child no matter what. There was no way in hell I'd let her go again. So I stopped mid-step, probably looking like an idiot. Alana gave me an odd look but I smiled brightly at her.

"I know, I probably look dumb right now." I got down on my knees and smiled shyly. I could feel my heart pounding so hard it felt like it was going to explode. "And I know I've been really shitty to you in the past. But, if you just give me the chance to make it better and be my wife I'll make it up to you for all eternity. Marry me?"

I watched shock spread across her face as she started to blush. "I... I... Are you sure?"

"Am I sure that I want you to be my wife?"

"Yeah."

"Of course I am."

"Then yes. I'll marry you."

A huge grin spread across my face as I picked her up. Her nails dug into my shoulders as she squealed. "I love you so much, Lana, and I've missed you like crazy. I promise I won't ever let you go again. God, I was such a stupid teenager. Was it hard?"

"Was what hard, Alex?" She asked giving a confused look.

"Raising her alone."

She paused for a while with a slight frown playing on her lips. After a while she sighed and shook her head. "Not really. Fletcher did help a little bit, but, of course, he didn't do much to help since she wasn't his. Though, at the time, I did wish things would work out. Just so I wouldn't be alone, ya know?" She sighed and looked down, her hair creating a curtain around her face. She whispered softly, "I never stopped hoping you'd come for me, to save us from him. We fought too much and I knew I had to get our baby away from that before it escalated.

My heart warmed at her confession. She never stopped loving me - just as I never stopped loving her. She wasn't marrying me just because she knew she once loved me and might again, she was marrying me because - even after all this time - she still loved me. "I love you, Alana."

She looked up and smiled. "I love you, too, Alex. Promise me something?"

"Of course. What is it?"

"Don't push me away again. Like, I mean it. Don't you ever push me away again. I don't care how right you think it is, promise you won't do it again. I want to be your life partner, I need to be there for you always."

I nodded slowly, "I promise. In fact, I pinky promise."

I held my pinky out to her and she wrapped her dainty, little finger around mine tightly. Determination shone in her eyes and her mouth was pursed in a stern line as she nodded. We both knew she took pinky promises very, very seriously. I don't blame her for hanging onto the seriousness of this promise, it was set in her heart as while her mind. There was no way to go back on the promise without losing her and our daughter forever.

"Do you think she'll come around?" I asked, knowing she'd know who I meant.

"Of course she will, just give her time to adjust. Trust me, I've noticed the looks she's been giving." She gave me a pointed look, "Sometimes she acts just like you, Alex, so stubborn and devious. She was definitely a challenge once she could walk. Especially when she started talking!"

"Tell me about her. Please, I've missed most of her life and I regret it so much." I gave her a pleading look. It wasn't a lie, I did regret missing my only child's life and not being in it.

Alana smiled, "Well, the first guy that held her she kissed - she was eight months old. Let's see, when she first started walking she did her best to hide from me. When she finally could pronounce words fully she started swearing. When she was four she ran away from preschool with her little boyfriend. When she was nine she shoplifted an X-men bottle. When she was fourteen she took the neighbors car for a joyride and then she started driving and got her license and then first car and now she's getting ready to graduate." Alana smiled as she spoke about our devious little girl. She was right, our baby did act like me at times.

I didn't know what to say, so I let her continue her stories. Our daughter didn't really date that much unless she really liked and trusted the guy - or girl - and she sometimes went to parties. She has a best friend that knows everything about her. Sometimes Lexie likes to drive out to the forest to think and draw. She was and excellent artist, Alana showed me pictures she took on her phone of Lexie's gallery showcase. Apparently her school has contests at the art gallery downtown. With everything my future wife told me I became more and more proud of our daughter and more regretful. I should've been here for them. Fletcher shouldn't have been the one to raise my child. I shouldn't have taken that damn job.