Finding Her

Chapter 3

I sat outside my ex-girlfriends house for awhile after dinner. It had been extremely rough. I didn't know what to do, I needed her back. All I did when I was in jail was hope that I would see her again as I stared at her picture. She was so beautiful and I was still insanely in love with her. When I walked in there and ate with them, I was glad that there wasn't a little Fletcher with us. Proof that she didn't love him enough to carry his child in her womb. Not even I had realized how much I needed her until I knew for sure that she was no longer mine when I got out of jail. It hurt for awhile, but I managed. Then the need for her became stronger and stronger until I couldn't take it anymore. I loved her more than anything. It would crush me if she said I couldn't come back, I'd have nothing to live for. God, I sound like such a creep! I was jolted forward into my steering wheel. I groaned and got out of my car. "What the fuck?"

A black Toyota had slammed into my back fender. A kid stumbled out of the front seat, "Aye, sorry bout your car, man." The kid slurred. Great, just what I fucking needed, a shit faced teenage. "Oh, you look mad, haha. But, hey, I'm really sorry bout your car. Names Cameron."

Groaning, I looked back at my fender. "Jesus fucking christ. How much did you drink?"

The kid, Cameron, laughed like I told the best joke ever. "Not enough." He looked over at the house I was parked in front of and stared at it in confusion before slurring, "Why're you in front of Lexie's house?"

I shrugged and looked at the white victorian house that belonged to Alana, I hoped we hadn't woken anyone up, "I'm her dad." I shrugged again, "Need a ride home, kid?"

The kid shook his head and stared at me with wide deer eyes, "N-No sir!" He tried to say as soberly as possible. "Thanks for the offer. I-I could pay for the damage." He was staring at the finder he detroyed. I was tempted to make the dumb ass pay for it, instead I just sighed and said, "Nah, it's cool. Just keep off the road next time you drink, you could kill someone." He just nodded and got back in his car and sped off. Dumb ass. I surveryed the damage once more and got back in my car and drove back to my hotel and waited.

I waited to see if the one thing that I loved with my soul would take me back despite not following through with her wished. I was suppose to stay away, not look for her. I waited to see if I could finally be in my daughters life. I waited to feel hole again. Everyday I ate, showered, slept, paid for another day, and sat with my phone in my hand. When it rang, my heart leapt, only to disappointed by it being Roy with more work or some telemarketer. But nothing happened. Still, I had hope, it was only Wednesday.

This time my phone rang and it was her. "Hello?"

"Alex. Hi." She breathed out. "I didn't think you'd answer so quickly. A-Are you till in town?"

"I am. Have you decided?" I asked hopefully.

"I have. I think it would be best for you to at least be in our daughters life while you still can." She replied but she sounded like she wanted to say more.

"That's wonderful. Thank you, Alana! That means the world to me." I smiled. "You sound like have something else to say though."

"I do... I just... I just don't know how to say it yet." She paused. "Look, Alex, come over tomorrow and we can talk... Alone. I think it's something we need to so."

I knew, from the sound of her voice, that she was biting her lip. "Yeah, ok, no problem. What time should I be there?"

"Can you be here around noon? I want to talk while Alexa is at school, I need this to be as private as possible." She said quietly, as if she was afraid someone would overhear her.

"Yeah, that's not a problem for me." I smiled again and bit my lip. I would see her soon. "I'll be there, and Alana?"

"Yes, Alex?"

"Stop worrying, everything will be ok. And thank you." I said cheerfully. "Not just for letting me be in her life, but for trying to talk to me. It means a lot."

There was a long pause, she was trying to figure out what to say and how to say it. Finally, she sighed and said, "Thank you for caring about her enough to be in her life, Alex, I think she needs it. Thank you for not being an asshole and staying away like I wanted you to. I shouldn't have said that. I'll see you tomorrow."

I smiled more, "See you tomorrow, good night."

I hung up and smiled hard as hell. She's letting me be there! She's not making me leave! Mom would be so fucking happy! I needed to look nice for her. I dug through me suit case to find a black button up and dark blue, almost black, jeans that were like baggy skinny jeans. I also pulled out the shower gel and cologne she said she liked. I chose to comb my hair back since my beard was getting long and no longer resembled the tail of a lion.