eddie gripped the paper in his hand. it had been a week and a half since he saw stan at the party. eddie sat in that bedroom for so long that the walls started to lose their color and everything went gray.
while he sat in the room, part of him wished that stan would see richie downstairs and let him know that eddie was upstairs, just so eddie could scream at him and punch him and tell him how every waking moment of his own existence since the last time they saw each other, eddie thought of him.
his every thought was laced with richie tozier.
eddie hated himself for it.
he shouldn't be stuck like this. he should move on. even henry bowers had moved on. he was dating a girl named greta. they met when henry went to college, she was from out of town.
henry wrote him a letter, not that they'd stayed much in touch. henry explained how he and eddies mother had run into each other at the local grocery store, and had caught up with one another.
henry had decided to ask her to put a letter in the post for him, which she agreed and that's how they got here.
eddie was happy for him. honestly, henry deserved someone good. and eddie hated himself for what he'd put henry through. after richie, eddie began to question everything that he'd done.
he began to question if it had even been worth it.
eddie risked everything for richie tozier. he risked everything that he'd known, for richie tozier. everything that he did for months was for richie tozier.
as mush as eddie wished that he wasn't, he was in love with richie tozier.
he had been for two years.
eddie sighed and bit down hard on his lip. he grabbed his phone from his night stand and unlocked it, pulling up the keypad.
212-555-0148
"two-one-two-" eddie started typing the number into the phone, his breath shaky. he stared at the number as his finger hovered over the call button.
"i shouldn't. this is bad. bad." his finger came down quickly, tapping the button anyways.
eddie pulled the phone up and to his ear. it rang, and rang, and rang.
and then the ringing cut. halfway through the fourth sound.
"r. tozier. who is this?" his voice had gotten lower. not by much, but it was noticeable. and since when did he answer the phone like that?
eddie heard shuffling in the back ground, and a voice close, probably richies roommate.
"hello? anyone there?" his voice echoed again. eddie tried to speak. he tried so hard.
"h-hi." was all he could manage. it was short and quiet. richie stayed quiet for a while. eddie could hear the sound of his shoes dragging against wood flooring.
"hey? is this-" richie cut himself off. eddies eyes widened as he did so. richie stayed completely silent, not a single sound went either way through the phone. eddie had completely stopped breathing.
"eddie?" eddies heart stopped. he wanted to hang up. he needed to end the call. hearing richie tozier say his name, after all this time, it wasn't real. it was fake. it couldn't be real.
"richie." richie let out a small, quiet gasp. it was so quiet. eddie would kill for a noise. he would kill for someone to just lift the silence.
"how did you get this number? why are you calling?"
hang up. hang up. hang up. stop the call. why were you even doing this? he hates you.
"stan- uh- stanley." richie scoffed. eddies breath hitched. he felt hot, like he had a fever. he wanted to stop.
"stanley? when did you see him? why did he give you this number? why would you call?" eddie had enough. it was too much. he pulled the phone from his face and hung up quickly. he tried to catch his breath, and then he started to cry.
apparently he was loud, because bev came running into his room.
"hey, honey. what's goin on?" eddie tried to break his sob to respond to her. it took a moment, but bev waited patiently and ran her hand up and down his back.
"richie. it's r-richie." bev's face changed, confusion spreading from her eyebrows to her cheeks. her eyes looked lost, like she had no clue who richie was.
"richie? what do you mean?" eddie had yet to tell her about stanley.
"i saw stan. at the columbia party. he took me to his room to talk, and he gave me richie new phone number. i called it." bev nodded, trying her best to comprehend what happened.
"okay, what did he say?"
"he was angry, bev. he recognized my voice. he was asking where i got the number and he scoffed at me. he really hates me, bev." bev shook her head and grabbed eddies shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug.
"it's his loss, eds. his loss."
