31. Imagining Things

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Lately I've been keeping myself to myself and not wanting to mix with anybody. I spoke to Lizzie. Of course I did, she just didn't get much of a conversation from me.

I sat there at lunch looking at the rain out the window. It was pouring down heavily.

I was on my own, again. Lizzie was always in the library. She chose to be there, I didn't leave her. She didn't offer for me to come so I figured she was letting me have some space.

I watched the raindrops skid down the window as if it were crying. I wasn't going to lie, I loved the rain. The smell, the fresh air, how cold the rain is. It made me feel slightly new again if I had been outside, which I hadn't yet. I stared out the window but I noticed someone standing behind a tree in the distance. They were staring at me but who? I moved closer to the window and looked out. The figure raised their head and I thought I saw Matthew. I frowned and shut my eyes, once I opened them they were gone.

It was my imagination. You're imagining things. He's in prison. He can't escape that's ridiculous...

"Hey." I heard a voice behind me which interrupted my thoughts. I looked back and saw Mark standing at the table.

I rolled my eyes and said, "what?"

"Can I sit here?" He asked.

"No point. I'm leaving anyway." I said getting up from the table. I shoved my hands in my pocket and walked out the canteen.

"Jennifer. Can I please speak with you?" He called after me as I walked down the corridor.

So, he was following me.

"I'm sorry. But I don't have time." I said pushing the doors open which led outside. I walked through the rain but this didn't stop him.

"Please Jennifer. Just hear me out." He pleaded.

I turned around to him and folded my arms because I was cold.

"Make it quick" I said sighing.

He let out a slow breath and said "thank you. All I wanted to say was I'm sorry for asking you all those questions. I'm just curious. I'm trying to figure you out. Ever since I first saw you, you confused me and I didn't understand you. I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable about ho- your situation but I didn't know another way to react. I'm only trying to help you."

"Why?" I asked. Why wound he want to help me, he barely even know me.

"I don't know. I just-"

"You know the party?" I asked.

"The one last week?"

I nodded. "Why did you say, 'I'm not your boyfriend. Yet'?" I asked remembering that certain situation.

"Oh. I was feeling pretty confident about myself and I guess I just said it." He shrugged.

"So it was meaningless?" I asked.

"Well, no. I- If you want to-"

"I don't want to. In fact I'd find it a lot easier if you left me alone to get back on track with things. I don't want to seem rude but you were the one coming out of the girls room opposite me. We both know what you did. And is she your girlfriend?" I asked. He shook his head and tried to speak but I quickly carried on. "Exactly. So I don't really trust you and who said I liked you in that way anyway? Why would you think I'd suddenly want to go out with you after what's happened to me?"

"Its been about 2 and a half weeks and you're still not over that fact that he's gone? He's not coming back. So if you're waiting for that to happen you need to open your eyes and see the truth because you're acting like an idiot." He said.

"Maybe it takes me a little longer to process and accept what's actually happened. Its not the same for everybody. I could be like this until tomorrow, until the end of the year or even for the rest of my life. If that's a problem to you, then its none of your business. You don't get to live me life for me. I lost mine in case you didn't realise." I said angrily.

"In 2 weeks we leave school to go home for Christmas. I want you to be happy. Its not-" I cut him off.

"Why do you care about my happiness?" I asked pulling my arms around me tighter as I grew colder.

"I don't know. I don't understand it. I'm trying to help you, to be nice but you're so frustrating sometimes I can't be patient with you and say things I don't mean. I just want you to give me a chance. As a friend. Nothing more if you're not comfortable an-" he stopped and sighed. He pushed a hand through his hair then scratched the back of his neck.

"What?" I asked.

"And, I just- look, its no doubt I have feelings for you, as soon as you walked into the class I couldn't keep my eyes of you and it confused me because I've never looked at anyone like that before. And I got a bit too confident because its how I've been all my life. I don't know any other way to act. Listen, I'm sorry that I'm bothering you but I want to help." He said.

I sighed and looked up into the sky. The rain was still heavy and I looked across into the canteen. People were looking at us as if we're crazy for standing in the rain.

"Alright. I'll give you a chance. But only as a friend. Nothing more." I concluded.

A smile of relief appeared on his face. "Thank you. Really thank you." He said. He stood there awkwardly before suddenly wrapping his arms around me. I didn't know what was going on so I just stayed with my arms folded. He rubbed my back and somehow I felt better slightly. Her pulled away and left me standing there seems still folded.

"Um, I just want you to be happy. That's all." He said before walking away.

"But why me!?" I shouted after him.

He turned and walked backwards. "Because I really like you!" He called before jogging back inside.

Well, that was fine but I'm sorry, I'm not even sure if I feel the same way about him. So just friends is going to be how it is for a long time.

Just then I recieved a text. I opened my phone and looked at the message.

UNKNOWN NUMBER

You think you can get away so easily from him. But he's coming. He's closer than you think.

Not again. I swallowed and deleted the messages and the number. I then put my phone into my pocket and continued to walk back to my room.

Daddy's Angel (A Jim Moriarty FanFiction) *Sequel To: The Password Is...*Where stories live. Discover now