The Guardian

Episode 1: Part 2 - London

Three months. Three months Charlotte had been in London stuck inside Mrs Griffiths' house and she hated it. She was a country girl who loved roaming around outdoors and being active. Her almost sedentary lifestyle in London was unbearable. Whilst she understood that the requirements of the full stage of mourning obliged her to shy away from society, she didn't think this should prevent her from going out of the house. However, Mrs Griffiths was very strict and only permitted one walk a day round the park for which Charlotte had to be accompanied and as Mrs Griffiths was not very enthusiastic about the exercise, the walk was often cut short.

When she wasn't on her walk, Charlotte mostly kept to her room or the library where she devoured books, often reading one a day for she was an avid reader and reading offered her an escape from the reality of the bleakness of her situation. Mrs Griffiths attempted to inspect the books Charlotte was reading, for she was very pious and opinionated on what a young lady should be studying, but Charlotte read through them at such a pace that it was impossible for Mrs Griffiths to keep up. In the end, to Charlotte's relief, she gave up on the task and thankfully that offered Charlotte at least some freedom of choice.

Charlotte also spent the time in her room writing letters to her friend Alison in Willingden and her correspondence was one of the only things that had cheered her during these last three months. Alison wrote about home, and their friends and life in the village and Charlotte found herself reading the letters over and over as it was her only connection to home and what was familiar, including those she loved. London, on the other hand, felt like a foreign country. It was always grey and muggy and there were so many people! She may have liked it more if she had the opportunity to explore the place, but being held up in Mrs Griffiths' house made that unlikely. Furthermore, Mrs Griffiths had tried to encourage Charlotte to engage in other pursuits that were expected of young women her age, namely playing the piano forte, embroidery and painting, but Charlotte was not accomplished at any of these, neither did she enjoy the activities and Mrs Griffiths was on the verge of giving up trying to convince her to participate in them.

Sidney's visits to see Charlotte were very infrequent. Aside from their discussions on the day after she had arrived at Mrs Griffiths' house, she had only seen him a handful of times when he had deemed it appropriate to see her. If Charlotte was honest, she didn't mind not seeing him because whenever she did, he conjured up feelings in her of resentment and self pity. His presence reminded her of her predicament, the death of her father and her removal from her home. Why her father had seen fit to appoint Sidney as her guardian she didn't know for it was clear he did not relish the task and intended to have very little involvement with her, instead bestowing that task onto Mrs Griffiths. She was obviously an inconvenience to him and Charlotte wondered how she would ever be able endure two years of this existence.

Whilst life was pretty miserable, at least today offered a glimmer of hope, for today Charlotte was to step out of the first stage of mourning and into the second stage. This meant she could shed the heavy black dresses and veils and start wearing her half mourning attire which allowed her to adorn herself in lighter violet and mauve hues. She could also start to gradually engage in social activities. Charlotte was longing to visit St Paul's Cathedral and Vauxhall Gardens and she intended to ask Mr Parker today if he would permit her to go.

Mr Parker arrived for tea later that morning and Charlotte was summoned from her room to meet him in the drawing room. Feeling much brighter than she had in months, Charlotte glided down the stairs to meet him and halted at the door. Taking a deep breath, she stepped through the doorway. Mr Parker and Mrs Griffiths were sat speaking together and he rose from his seat as she entered.

"Miss Heywood." He said, bowing.

"Mr Parker." She said formally and curtseying before taking a seat opposite him.

Mr Parker sank back into his seat and picked up his tea cup as Mrs Griffiths looked between them. "Doesn't Miss Heywood look well in her half mourning attire, Mr Parker?" She commented.

Mr Parker's eyes flickered over to Charlotte, but did not linger on her. "Yes, indeed Mrs Griffiths."

"Black is such an oppressive colour."

"But necessary." Mr Parker said with a certain finality that brought the topic of conversation to a halt.

All three of them sipped their tea as an awkwardness filled the room until Charlotte said "Mr Parker?" Mr Parker shifted his gaze to hers in surprise, for Charlotte had barely said a word to him on his visits other than to answer his questions with a "yes" or a "no". The fact she had ventured to address him to start a conversation was a new and interesting development.

"Yes, Miss Heywood." He said in his deep tones which reverberated through her delicate figure.

"I was rather hoping that, now I am no longer in full mourning, I may be granted certain... freedoms." She said.

"Oh yes? And what freedoms might they be?" Mr Parker said in a challenging manner, but in truth he was intrigued as to what she had to say now she seemed to have found her voice.

"Well, for a start, I do not think it necessary for Mrs Griffiths to accompany me on every walk around the park." Charlotte said boldly.

"I cannot agree with you there, Miss Heywood. It is entirely inappropriate for you to be roving around London on your own."

"I quite agree, Mr Parker." Mrs Griffiths added.

"If you recall, Mr Parker, I single-handedly ran our household when my father was away on business. I think I am more than capable of a walk alone in the park."

"This is not Willingden, Miss Heywood and your circumstances are much changed since then. You simply cannot experience the independence you were granted before. I will not have you gallivanting around London without a chaperone."

"It is hardly gallivanting, Sir, it is merely a walk in the park."

"My word is final, Miss Heywood." Sidney said, his tone sharp.

Charlotte's eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed. Her chest started heaving from the anger rising in her and she struggled to compose herself. "Will you at least allow me to visit some places?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"What places did you have in mind?" Sidney asked.

"St Paul's Cathedral." Charlotte replied. Sidney regarded her for a moment and didn't respond. "Obviously with Mrs Griffiths accompanying me." She added.

Sidney continued to look at her. "Very well, if Mrs Griffiths consents to taking you."

"I do." Mrs Griffiths replied.

"And I would also like to go to Vauxhall Gardens." Charlotte asked.

"Oh Mr Parker, I do not think that is suitable, not for a young woman in mourning. To be indulging in the... the entertainment that is offered there, it would be unseemly." Mrs Griffiths said.

Charlotte sighed impatiently. "I do not know a soul in London, Mrs Griffiths. I do not see how my presence there is going to be frowned upon. I need to get out of this house. I feel like I can hardly breathe being kept in here. I have endured everything quietly until now because I have been mourning my father, but I cannot keep on like this. I only wish to see what is at Vauxhall Gardens, I am happy to refrain from any activities you deem fit, but please at least let me see what is there." Charlotte faced Sidney. "Please Mr Parker, will you at least consider it?"

Sidney gazed at Charlotte again as he contemplated her request and Charlotte hoped her speech had persuaded him. After what felt like an eternity, he finally said. "As it so happens I will be meeting some friends at Vauxhall Gardens next week. If Mrs Griffiths agrees to be your chaperone for the evening, I will consent to you accompanying me. Perhaps this will be a good opportunity to start your introduction into London society."

Charlotte looked at him wide eyed, obviously surprised by his consent. "Thank you." She replied. He nodded in acknowledgement and then Mrs Griffiths engaged him again in conversation.

Charlotte didn't speak at all for the rest of the meeting until Sidney took his leave. "Well, Miss Heywood. I'm glad to see you are in better spirits. I will see you again next week for our visit to Vauxhall Gardens." Sidney said bowing to her.

"Good day, Mr Parker." Charlotte said curtseying as he said his farewell to Mrs Griffiths and then left the room.