Isn't She Lovely (h.s)

Chapter 11

Harry

"Okay mate, what's up?" Niall asked as he took a seat on the chair across from me at the kitchen island. I sighed, running my hands through my thick brown curls. How was I supposed to tell him that I had a secret daughter that I had just found out about? I refused to meet his gaze and instead studied the walls of his London apartment.

"Ni, have you ever... erm, have you ever made a big mistake? Like a really big mistake that you can't take back?" I could tell he had no idea what I was talking about from his silence.

"We all make mistakes Harry.." I shook my head with a frown and looked out of the window to my right. The sun was starting to set, beautiful shades of pink and yellow swirling in the sky above. Sam used to love watching the sunset with me.

"No, like a mistake that you knew would hurt your reputation if anyone ever found out..." I glanced over at Niall quickly and saw a look of confusion sweep across his features.

"Harry I don't understand, what happened?" Fear constricted my throat. I couldn't possibly tell him. "I didn't do anything. Well, not now. It's what I did before I left, I just had no idea until now that it would cause such a... mess..." I felt Niall shift so that he was completely facing me.

"Okay Harry, what did you do before you left?" He talked at me slowly and I'm sure he felt as if he was talking to a five year old, not getting answers but more clues. I took a deep, shaky breath. I knew my hands were trembling and that at any second I would break down and start crying again, I had already cried more today than I had during the three years I was gone. Here goes nothing.

"Samantha and I... well we, we were drunk one night and we... before I knew what we were doing..." I felt him laugh as a heated blush crept up my neck. I really hoped Niall understood where I was going with this, because try as I might, I couldn't force myself to say it out loud. How was I supposed to say it anyway? We fucked like rabbits for hours while drunk beyond belief and apparently I have some kid I never knew about. I saw the look of realization overtake Niall's face and he grinned widely before patting me on the shoulder.

"Aye, well why didn't you tell any of us? Harry, you've loved her for years, how was it a mistake?" I just looked down at my hands and I could feel the sob starting to shake in my chest.

"It was." I saw him frown and shift again, running a hand through his hair lightly.

"Why?"

Because apparently I got her pregnant.

"B-because she didn't tell me... three years and, and I didn't know!" I felt his hand on my shoulder now, gently pushing me so that I was facing him.

"Harry, just speak to me, I don't understand. What didn't she tell you?" My throat started to tighten and I just looked down at my hands again before looking up at Niall who now was beginning to catch on. His mouth formed into a perfect "o" and his navy blue eyes were wide open.

"Fuck... Harry are you, I mean, do you..?" I bridged my fingers in front of my lips and nodded.

"Yeah, she got pregnant... She kept the baby." I whispered voice hoarse.

"Holy shite..." Silence fell over the room again and I dropped my forehead against the granite countertop.

"How old were you when, you know.."

"Fifteen.."

I heard a sharp intake of air and Niall went rigid in the seat next to me.

"You got her pregnant? At fifteen? Three years ago..." I just nodded and lifted my gaze to meet his. I felt the tears pooling on my lash line.

"I have a daughter Niall. Her name is Catherine." He rubbed the light blonde stubble on his jawline, but now he was the one that refused to meet my eyes.

"Harry, this is big.." I felt the hurt bubbling up in my chest again. I stood up and whipped to face him.

"You don't think I know that Niall? You don't think I know what the paps are going to say about this? What people are going to call me? What management is going to say?!" I was raising my voice, I was quite aware of that, but I couldn't contain it. Niall stood too and put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's going to be okay mate. Just calm down," Silence pounded loud in my ears as I tried to control my ragged breathing once again."What are you going to do H?" I sat back down and Niall did the same.

"I don't know Niall, I honestly don't know. All I know is that I can't." I hung my head as I pulled at my hair by the roots.

"Can't what?"

"Be her father." He chuckled darkly and looked out the window.

"Kinda late to decide that, huh? You don't really have a choice there Harry." I sighed in frustration and ran my hands through my curls again.

"I'm not ready Niall. I'm too fucking young! I'm in a boy band for god sakes,"

"That doesn't change anything now, Harry. You made a mistake and now you need to live with the consequences." He was right, of course he was right. But I didn't want him to be.

"I don't know if I can. I can't stand to even look at her or her mum right now, I'm just at a loss... I want to be mad at Sam, and don't get me wrong, I most definitely am. I mean how could she not tell me? But at the same time i'm just so shocked and confused and scared... what if I'm not a good dad? What if she doesn't like me? What if she blames me for not being around?"

"There is no way in the world that she won't love you Harry. You're her dad; she's going to love you no matter what. And okay, so yeah, it does suck that you missed three years of your daughter's life...but it's never too late to start being there for her, right?" Of course Niall would be the one convincing me to do the right thing. I bit my lip as I thought.

"I don't know Ni, I'm just not ready for that kind of responsibility, and-"

"And you think Samantha was, mate? I'm sure she was scared shitless when she found out!"

"Then, then why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she let me help her?!" I could feel my frustration beginning to rise again as I tried to make sense of the past. Niall simply shrugged his shoulders and gazed out the window at the dusk filled sky.

"I don't know Haz, I'm sure she wanted to, she probably had to make some really tough decisions when you left." I groaned and laid my head in my arms.

"I-I don't know if I can forgive her for this, Ni. I mean, this isn't just some small lie." Niall nodded his head in understanding and rubbed circles into my back.

"I understand that, mate. You just need some time to clear your head. Stay here as long as you need to." I patted my shoulder before moving to stand and give me some space. I turned to look at him before wrapping my arms around his torso and hugging him tightly.

"Thank you Niall, for everything."