Isn't She Lovely (h.s)

Chapter 36

Eleanor

"You WHAT?" He screeched as soon as the words left my mouth.

I felt awful... The look on his face when I told him was utterly heartbreaking. I felt the tears start to gather in my eyes as I looked into his large emerald spheres. I didn't mean to hurt them, I didn't mean to ruin their lives, I was just angry.

And miserable.

And Jealous.

Louis and I had worked so hard for a baby, I just wanted a child of my own so badly. I had never wanted something so bad in my entire life. It just wasn't fair... Why did Samantha and Harry get to live the perfect life with a perfect little girl away from the spotlight while my humiliation and pain was splayed all over the front pages? We had tried so hard, and Harry didn't even want his daughter when he first met her for god sakes! Why should they get to live happily ever while keeping their child from the world when I would have given anything just to have a child, in or out of the spotlight. Why should my life, my misery, be posted all over the front page of the magazines when Harry and Sam got to live in complete content, hiding their daughter from the world? It just wasn't fair...

A month of pain. A month of anger, and sadness, and heartache. I sat by for a month as every inch of my body was dissected on the cover of worldwide publications and rumors were being spread about my inability to have children. And during that time where were Sam and Harry? Still hiding their child away from the spotlight, pretending that she didn't even exist.

Of course I had regretted it as soon as I had called Miss Porter, I knew I had made a terrible mistake, but there wasn't anything I could do by then. Harry and Samantha's little secret was going to be plastered all over the front page of the paper, and maybe, just maybe then they would understand the pain I was feeling.

Harry ran a shaking hand through his curls and I could tell that he was trying to control his anger. If I was in his position I'd probably be screaming by now. It was silent for a while and I could tell Harry was still trying to wrap his head around what I'd just told him. My heart was beating so loud I was surprised he couldn't hear it from where he was standing.

W-why? He asked, voice quavering with a hundred different emotions. "Why would you do this to me, to my family?"

Why? Why. That really was a good question.

Why had I told the press about Catherine? Why had I ruined their chance of living a somewhat normal life? Why had I just ruined Catherine's chances of living a normal childhood?

"I-I don't know." I whispered back. The worst part is that I knew I had just lost one of my best friends, the one who set me up with Louis, the one I could count on for everything. Harry had always been the friend I could turn to. Sure, we hadn't been the closest in the last few years, but I always knew he was there for me and vice versa. I owe my whole relationship to him, and what do I do in return? Destroy his.

"I- I don't know..." I mumbled quietly as I became fixated on my hands.

"You don't know? You don't know why you destroyed my family? My only chance at happiness with my baby girl, and you DON'T KNOW why you ruined it?"

I felt the tears brim my already puffy eyes as he started to raise his voice. I'm surprised that no one has come out to check on the yelling yet. I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and scrubbed at my raw eyes with the back of my hands.

"Look Harry, I'm really sorry, we can try to fix this, I just-" He let out a sarcastic chuckle as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, let's just call up all the convenience stores in Europe and have them get back all of the magazines they've already sold! Sounds simple enough!" Sarcasm was dripping from his voice as he threw his arms around in the air. I could feel the sob clawing its way up my throat as he stepped closer to me.

"H-Harry, I'm really, really sorry! I just- I wasn't thinking. I was just m-mad. I didn't mean to ruin your relationship with Sam! With everything that happened I guess I was just, just jealous..."

It was silent for a while as I refused to meet his eyes that I knew were burning into my face.

"She's going to leave as soon as she sees this you know." His voice had dropped so low it was almost a whisper.

"What? No she won't Harry, she wouldn't just do that." I finally looked up at him and saw the first of many tears run down his pink tinted cheeks.

"Yes she is, I know it, I know her. That's what she was planning to do from the beginning. She never wanted to be at my mum's when I came home last year. She never wanted to tell me about Catherine. If it wasn't for my mum, she never would have stayed there in the first place! She's going to leave me and take my daughter with her. She never wanted Catherine growing up in the spotlight, so she's going to run off. I know her El, obviously better than I know you. And when she leaves me, you'll only have yourself to blame." He spat at me coldly and I could feel my heart breaking even more than it already was. The tension around us was thick, almost too thick. I could feel the air around start to suffocate me. It was getting harder and harder to breathe and I thought I'd choke to death right there and then.

"Harry? Eleanor? Are you guys alright?" I felt my heart drop as I heard Louis's voice enter the hallway. My stomach leapt into my chest as I whipped around to come face to face with my boyfriend, a sob threatening to tumble from my lips. He took in our expressions and immediately took on a look of worry. He walked up to me, putting his arm around my waist protectively.

"Is everything ok?" Harry shifted his intense stare from me, to Louis, and then back to me.

Please, Harry. Please, please, please don't tell Louis. I shot him a weary glance, and I think he got the message.

"Why don't you ask that nosy little girlfriend of yours?" He snapped at Louis before turning abruptly and starting to walk down the hall. Louis reached out grabbing his arm and whipping him around to face us again.

"What's that supposed to mean? What's going on?" Louis demanded. Harry glared at him for a few seconds before ripping his arm out of Louis's grip. I felt the tears start to fall and I turned around, rushing out of the hallway and into the main lobby. How was I supposed to tell him? I couldn't tell Louis the truth, he'd hate me.

He'd hate me more than he already does for killing his baby.

I ran out of the building as fast as my legs would carry me, racing to our car before any paps caught sight of me. I jumped into the car, slamming the door and locking it behind me. I curled up into a ball in the passenger seat as the waterworks started. I just ruined everything. Could my life get any worse right now? I really didn't think so.

Suddenly, a banging at the door made me raise my mascara stained face to peer out of the tinted window.

"El! Open the door, c'mon, Love, I want to talk..." I shook my head but unlocked the doors either way. Louis climbed into the driver's side before closing the door quietly behind him. I sniffled, trying to quiet the sobs that were threatening to break free. It was silent for a while as I tried to pull myself together. He rubbed my back carefully in soothing circles. Five minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes later and I finally stopped hiccupping.

"Care to tell me what happened in there, Love?"

Oh god, I knew he'd ask this...

"No... I c-ca-can't." I said shaking my head rapidly.

"And why's that, Baby?" I took a deep breathe.

"B-because it was me, Louis." He still looked really confused, which made me feel even worse.

"I told the reporter about Catherine..." I saw Louis's jaw tighten and he took in a deep breath.

"How could you?"

I knew it... he hated me.