Isn't She Lovely (h.s)

Chapter 20

Louis 

I sat Catherine down as I closed the door behind us. When I was out with Harry at coffee earlier this week he'd told me all about his plans for tonight, so I gladly offered to watch Catherine. I was so happy for Sam and Harry; I had never seen Harry care for two people as much as he cares for Sam and Catherine. It's as if those three years never happened, as if they were never apart. They truly are made for each other. As bad as it sounds, I'm actually really glad that Haz got her pregnant because it's finally managed to bring them together. He's no longer depressed and slagging around, he's grounded. I know he's young and should be having fun, but now he has someone to have fun with. I knew Harry's Playboy image was a facade from the moment I had met him. He might have been cheeky towards fans, but he had been head over heels in love with the same girl forever. I've never seen Harry love someone as much as he loves Samantha, and with Catherine in the picture, he finally had the perfect opportunity to tell her how he felt. It was obvious she felt the same way, just by seeing her face when she first saw Harry again was enough to tell. And especially these last few weeks, I could practically feel the love between them, I mean, they could barely keep their hands off of each other, and not just in a sexual way. No matter where we were or what we were doing, they always had to be touching. Whether it was a simple brush of the hand against his arm, or an arm around her waist, they were truly inseparable, almost as if they would stop breathing if they couldn't touch. I knew they were taking things pretty quickly after being separated for three years, but they were always meant to be together, Harry knew that, and he didn't want to miss another moment of their lives.

"So Miss Caty Cat, What do you want to do first? Are you hungry?" She sat on the couch, swinging her legs and put her index finger to her chin, thinking. I must say, it was quite adorable. She nodded her head and leapt off the couch.

"I hungy!" I chuckled and scooped her up in my arms.

"Well okay then! Why don't I go order a pizza while you and Auntie El pick out a movie to watch, hm?" She grinned brilliantly and nodded. I was so glad that she got along great with Eleanor. It was so adorable watching them together; El was so good with children. It made me so happy to see the smile on her face every time we saw a baby in the park or at the mall. But I can't help but feel disappointed that I can't give her the one thing she truly wants, not right now at least. Not when I was living life out of a suitcase in the bedroom we shared. She's gone through so much these last few years we've been together, with all the hate, and rumors and names, I'm honestly surprised she hasn't left me yet. It kills me to see her upset, and when I go on Twitter and see all the nasty names she's called it makes me sick. She makes me happy... why can't people see that and accept it?

As I was watching her play with Catherine from the kitchen I couldn't help but remember that one night not so long ago..

"What are you doing Love?" I asked as I sat down behind her and rubbed her shoulders lightly. I felt her body tense and I could tell she was trying not to cry. She shut the laptop hastily and set it down on the bedside table.

"N-nothing, just checking up on some things, that's all." I could tell something was wrong by the sound of her voice. I had been with El long enough to know when something was bothering her.

"What's wrong, Baby?" I questioned as I kissed her shoulder. She sighed and turned to face me. Her eyes were a little watery and I could tell that the smile she had plastered on her beautiful face wasn't real.

"It's nothing. Let's just go to bed." She said sounding weary as she pulled back the blankets and crawled under. I knew something was wrong, and judging by the way she snapped the laptop closed I'm guessing she was reading what people were saying about her on Twitter. She turned away from me, but I pulled her back tightly against my chest and wrapped an arm around her waist. I turned off the lamp on the bedside table and tried to get comfortable, yet it was still bothering me. But there was nothing I could do, Eleanor was stubborn and didn't like to talk to me about the hate. I could tell she wasn't asleep by the tension in her body.

"Please talk to me, Love." I whispered in her ear and she sighed.

"I was just reading some of the things people were tweeting today, but it's nothing really."

"El, I'm so sorry. But please, just ignore the hate, please I know it's hard, but people don't know what they're talking about. If they don't support us, then they don't support me. Nothing will ever get in between us babe, I promise. I love you too much to let anything happen." I kissed El on the forehead and held her in my arms as she sniffled.

"I love you too...But the hate isn't what's bothering me, Lou." I looked at her quizzically as she played with my hands in embarrassment. "This is going to sound silly, but it's just; I've always wanted a family Lou, you know that..." My mouth formed a small 'o' as I understood the topic of conversation. "And now, seeing Harry with his daughter and Samantha, it just makes me think... I'm jealous of what they have, Lou. And, and I know that sounds terrible, but I am. I want to have a family, but I know that can't happen, at least not until your career settles down. The hate is already unbearable; I mean, imagine what would happen if we were to settle down right now... I don't want my family growing up around all of this... hate." By the thickness of her voice I could tell she was crying. I didn't know what to say... I was speechless and my stomach felt like lead as guilt coursed through my veins. This was my fault, all my fault. I was the reason Eleanor couldn't have a family, it was because of my career. How could I have done that to her? How dare I put my career in front of our relationship? I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.

"I-I'm sorry Eleanor... I wish things could be different. But I- I just can't settle down right now, I'm only twenty. I have a career that demands my attention right now," I heard her sniffle and a quiet laugh escape her lips.

"I know Louis... I know it's stupid. Just forget I said anything."

"No, Love, It's not stupid. I'm sorry, I'm really fucking sorry, I just can't give you what you're asking for right now. I'm sorry..." She silenced me with a light kiss.

"It's okay, Lou. I understand." I felt tears pooling in my eyes and I gripped her tighter against my body.

"I'm sorry..."

The sight of the two of them together was so adorable, Eleanor really did look like a mother. I quickly ordered the pizza and then returned to my place on the couch as I watched the girls playing with some Barbies on the floor. Seeing El smile and laugh as she played with Catherine made my heart melt, and suddenly it got me thinking... maybe... well, maybe I was ready to start a family with El.