The New American Dream

Part Three: After | Chapter Fifteen

Over the course of the next few weeks Dan and I met regularly to read together, I enjoyed his company greatly. I was only worried I was too beside myself from the medication and that he wouldn't like me anymore if I went off it, or if the dosage was reduced. What if the medication had made another person out of me?

But for now Dan seemed to enjoy it too, he told me he had actually started to enjoy reading, even though it took him a little longer and reading was still hard for him. I thought I was doing my job right so far.

"So, we sort of wanted to ask you something," I told him one October afternoon. We had met to read again and were sitting on the floor of my room. I had gone over to taking him into my room again, fuck the living room, my parents could think whatever the fuck they wanted. Maybe the old me was coming back now that the dosage had been reduced again.

Dan was by now completely part of our friend group which made me happy. I liked that it had been so easy for him to find friends, if I had been knew to a school I would have worried about that probably the most.

"We?" Dan asked me.

"The band."

"Oh okay."

I grinned at him. "You sound like you're afraid I'm going to rip your head off."

Dan laughed. "No, I'm fine. Go ahead."

"You play guitar right?"

"That and other instruments, yes?"

"How about you sort of... permanently play second guitar with us? We want to ask Cassie to play bass."

"Are the other's really okay with that?"

I laughed. "Why wouldn't they? Do you think I'm asking you without having asked them first?"

"I don't know, it's just that I'm the new kid and all. There's other people in your friend group that could probably also do it, I mean-"

I cut him off. "First of all, it's your friend group too, you're part of us now. And secondly, I want you," I said and immediately regretted my choice of words. I blushed. "In the band I mean. We all agreed not to replace Mark, that's why we want Cassie to play bass. She's a girl and has a different style than him. We won't be reminded of him too much that way. It will feel less like replacement and more like moving on, you know?"

Dan nodded. "And why do you need a second guitar then?"

"Because we want one. Sometimes they're needed. Many bands have multiple guitars, they're important. And if you say you can play even more instruments then that's only beneficial for us. I mean, I could play guitar myself but I prefer singing."

Dan smiled at me. "Alright, if you all want me to do it then I guess I will."

I clapped my hands together. "Yes! Thank you. You'll see it will be fun!"

Dan laughed at how happy I was. "Okay, then tell me everything I need to know. Gigs, band practice, everything."

"Alright, alright. We thought band practice maybe once or twice a week. I'll add you to the WhatsApp group so you'll see it when we set the dates. For now band practice is at Jace' and Cassie's house, I'll text you the address, I'm sure you'll find it.

"As for gigs, we'll still have to see about that. Over summer break we got an offer to play at a cafe just outside of Los Angeles but we had to decline at that point. And right now we need to get the band working first, then we can think about stuff like that. Maybe the offer still stands when we're back on track, so we could have a chance there."

_____

Life generally seemed to get back on track, thank the heavens. Things seemed to normalize again and I just tried to avoid my sister as much as possible. She had her own things to deal with and I wasn't sure how to bring myself into that so I thought I'd just remove myself from her as much as possible. She did seem off lately and, believe it or not, even if I was still incredibly mad at her for what she had done, I felt bad for her.