The New American Dream

Part One: Before | Chapter Eight

Walking into school the next Monday was... different. For the first time ever I wanted to actually be there and didn't feel out of place. I could let myself be celebrated unapologetically and feel good about myself. Could anything ruin this feeling?

When we walked through the doors everyone was looking at us, most people seemed to be in a positive mood about us. Many people smiled at us and greeted us, I felt better about myself than I had in a very long time. I had managed to do something right, something good.

I was also still a little bit on an adrenaline high from the concert and sneaking out from home without getting caught, but that was slowly starting to wear off. The little talk we had with the boys before the concert kept replaying in my head though and it kept my spirits up.

Weirdly enough, I even got a smile from my sister. Could it be that for the first time she was proud of me for something? That would be a first, but definitely something I wouldn't say no to. Then again she had looked pretty horrified during the performance. I couldn't read her.

"Hey, how was your weekend?" Julius asked with a grin when we passed him and his friends.

I grinned back at him. "Perfect in any way. We went to the concert and it was incredible. I'll send you the data of the videos this afternoon, okay?"

He gave me a thumbs up. "Sure, I'll edit them as soon as I can."

I was already looking forward to that. What would happen when we uploaded a new video? It would obviously not get as many views as the first one, but I was okay with that. As long as it got some views. I just wanted there to be something out there that I created, even if it was just a cover of a song someone else wrote.

In the end we all crave validation.

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I managed to get through Music, Biology and Algebra just fine.

"Alright, see you guys," Nate waved goodbye as he headed off to his next classroom.

"See you next break," Cassie agreed and she left together with Jace who also gave us a little wave.

Mark and I were the only one's left. "So how are you feeling?" I asked with a grin as we walked towards our English classroom.

Mark shrugged. "Good, I guess..." he mumbled, a little smile on his face. Something about him seemed off today. I shrugged it off as him being tired, we all were mentally exhausted, I knew the feeling just too well. Also it had been pretty late last night when we left for home.

We got into our seats and waited for the rest of the class to fill in. I tried to make some more smalltalk with him several times but he wasn't really participating so I dropped it and started doodling all over my binder in an attempt to focus my thoughts that were still running high about the concert and the fact I had got to meet my idols again.

Mrs Holland starter her lesson and everything seemed well. I mostly didn't pay attention, I was still too giddy for that, instead I focused on my drawing in the hopes she wouldn't catch me, right up until the moment I noticed something was off. Something just wasn't right.

My attention was captured by Mark's heavy breathing next to me, a gurgling sound came out of him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw red. Red everywhere. When I looked over to him I saw that his desk and his hands were covered in blood.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed loudly and drew everyone's attention to me.

Heads turned into our direction in the exact moment that Mark just... flopped over and fell out of his chair onto the ground with a nauseating thud that I would never be able to forget. Blood splattered and was sprinkled all over me and my things, a puddle of blood formed alarmingly fast underneath my friend.

Someone was screaming and I only realized that it was me when I was already on my knees next to Mark, hands covered with his blood as I turned him on his back to see what was going on.

Things happened to quickly for me to process. Someone's hands were on my shoulders and I was being pulled away from Mark, someone else tried to feel for a pulse from him.

"He's not breathing."

"There is so much blood!"

"It's coming from his nose!"

"And his ears, see that? Oh my god."

"I think he's also bleeding from his mouth!"

"Someone call a damn ambulance!"

"Already on it!"

"Get her away from him!"

That last statement was directed towards me, I found myself clutching to Mark as hands tried to pull me away again.

I realized that I had started screaming again, not letting go of Mark no matter how hard they tried to pull me away. "LEAVE ME!" I screamed hysterically and only clutched him even harder. A sickening feeling rose in my stomach and I already anticipated the worst, I just had a feeling this wasn't going to end well. "SOMEONE HELP HIM, PLEASE!" I cried and realized only now that there were tears streaming down my face.

It seemed like forever and at the same time like only seconds had passed until the paramedics arrived. Finally someone pulled me away for good, I wasn't sure but I thought it was one of the paramedics that held me back.

I was now cowering against a wall, my bloody hands covering my face and undoubtedly smearing his blood all over myself, when they announced that he was dead. I screamed in pain, a guttural scream, my chest aching like it had never before. Somehow I tried to crawl back over to him, but there were hands holding me back again.

"Please... let me... please... he's my friend... I need to..." I stuttered, feeling my energy leave me, but I managed to grab onto his hand one last time. It was still warm as though he was just fine.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, there was Nate. Where he had come from I had no idea but I saw that people were crowding outside of the room by now.

Nate's strong arms pulled me in and turned me away from Mark, he held me close to his chest as I wailed. The blood that was covering me was now also on him, it must have been a horrible sight.

They asked me if I was hurt. I managed to tell them that it was his blood that covered me, not my own. Someone put a blanket over me, someone else shoved a styrofoam cup with hot tea in my hands. Suddenly I found myself sitting down on one of the rocks outside of the school, even though I had no idea how I had gotten there. Nate was still with me, tears also streaming down his face, but he kept on holding my hand, not letting go under any circumstance.

I remember thinking that the sun felt incredibly out of place. It was bright and hurt my eyes and it just felt wrong.

Someone must have called my mother as she pulled up and looked at me horrified when she saw all the blood. I looked down on myself and saw that my hands were entirely smeared with blood, there were stripes of blood all over my arms (I didn't want to know what my face looked like), some blood had dried in my hair and splotches of blood covered my clothes here and there, my pants seemed to be worst off as I had knelt next to Mark.

"It's not hers," Nate assured her in a broken voice.

Mom drove me home and I didn't remember a single second from the entire car drive.

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Uh, hi.

This chapter is a bit shorter than usual but I feel like I gave you enough there :')

It's 4am, I just finsihed editing this and believe me when I say I am positively traumatized (:

Don't mind me just... crawling into a mountain of blankets and curl up to cry