Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It's been a month since that argument.
It's been a month since I left Chrollo without further explanations. Since I pushed him away again since I ran from him.
Sitting in front of the mirror with make-up and all, wearing this tight yet beautiful, elegant white gown, I can see that even if I put on my very beautiful smile, my eyes are shouting my real emotions.
I'm not happy with what situation I am in right now.
I love Illumi, yes, but not romantically. I only see him as a best friend, a brother. I thought that maybe if I stayed longer on his side, I'll fall for him. But as the days pass by, I'm only making it hard for myself.
After a year we shared together, after the incident, we shared so many memories. Believe me or not, I tried to develop feelings for him but the more he shows his energetic, rare side, the more I see him as a brother, not a lover. I'm very sorry. But what can I do? The Zoldycks set up their expectations on me. I faked smiles while talking in front of them, I faked I love yous, I faked my emotions, trying to look like I'm in love with Illumi...
...but I'm not.
I'm scared of what will happen if I back down. That they might hurt Chrollo. My family too, though, are okay with this marriage and all. They couldn't ask for a more perfect man than Illumi for me. He can run such businesses, he's rich, he's an outstanding assassin, he's a fine, young man. Perfect qualities to be my husband.
I know that Illumi can feel my uneasiness. That I'm uncomfortable with all of these things but he can't speak up. He can't oppose his parents. He's in love with me so this is an advantage for him. He tried asking me once about backing down too but...
"What do you think about backing down?"
I looked up to Illumi as he sat beside me. "B-Backing down? On what?"
