The Mission

Chapter 19

Staring up into his eyes, you let out a deep breath. "Why did you never tell me about her?"

Ari blew out a breath, removing the arm from around your back and placed it behind his head. His eyes closed and your heart hammered in your chest; maybe you shouldn't have said anything.

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal to mention it. It's over between her and I," he spoke, void of emotions. You could understand where he was coming from; his ex-wife was in his past and the two of you weren't dating, just screwing around. Sitting up on the bed, you held the sheet over your chest as your mind swam with emotions. "Are you really that mad about me not telling you about her?" Ari spoke, his voice louder and he seemed a bit angry himself.

A silent tear rolled down your cheek as you stared ahead of you. Your heart wanted what your heart wanted and that was Ari, but you were beginning to think it wasn't the same for him. Wiping the tear from your face, you turned around. "No Ari, I'm not mad. I get it." Giving him a fake smile, you pulled the sheet with you as you got off the bed, just needing some time to yourself; time to think if it was worth it to keep messing around with him if you were only going to end up getting hurt in the end.

"Hey," his voice broke you from your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks, head bowed. You heard him shuffling around behind you before feeling his hands around your waist. "Talk to me. What's going on in that head of yours huh?" His hand trailed down your right arm, turning your wrist to face upwards as his finger trailed along your Star of David tattoo.

Shuddering out a breath, you shook your head. "It's nothing Ari, really." In the blink of an eye, Ari had you turned around, facing him as your hands came to splay at his bare chest for balance. Feeling his finger underneath your chin, he lifted your head as your eyes locked together.

"Bullshit," he spoke, just above a whisper. "I've been with you every day for the last year and a half. I know when something's wrong with you and you always tell me what's bothering you. You can talk to me Y/N. Please."

Your mind was raging with your heart; one being logical, the other being realistic. It was too much to handle and you just wanted to be free from this weight on your shoulders.

"What are we Ari?" you finally asked, letting the words slip from your lips with ease.

His head jerked, brows furrowing, but over your course of time working for not only the Peace Corps, but also the Mossad, you knew how to read people's facial expressions pretty well. And from the looks of it, Ari was really trying to figure out his words carefully. "We're friends of course."

Your shoulders dropped, as well as your heart now that you knew where you stood with him. Clenching your jaw as to not show your chin quiver, you pulled from his grasp. "Friends. Right," you responded with a nod, turning to make your way into the bathroom.

Ari grasped your arm, stopping you from walking any further. "I don't get what you want Y/N? Are we not friends then or what am I missing?"

Your breathing was becoming ragged, all of your senses and thoughts on overdrive and you couldn't handle it anymore. "I'm in love with you Ari!" you yelled, eyes glossy with tears as you gazed into his eyes. His body stiffened at your words, his eyes darting around your face as your tears flowed. "Fuck I love you so much Ari. And I have for a while now, spending all this time with you, I just couldn't help but fall in love with you. And...," you trailed off, clenching your eyes shut and taking a breath between your sobs, "And I understand if you don't feel the same way. But-but I just had to get it off my shoulders. I had to tell you." Your body slumped into a relaxed posture as you let out a deep breath, but your heart was pounding in your chest, especially because Ari had yet to say anything.