Frat Boys (Lams) [COMPLETE]

Chapter 7

TW: mentions of abuse, sexual assault, drinking/alcohol

John was laying facedown on his bed, sobbing into the pillow. Why did Thomas have to be such a jerk? He hated when Thomas was drunk. He hated when Thomas bossed him around. He hated when...

He shook the last thought from his head and sniffled. John turned to his side and curled into his covers. His head was pounding. He tried not to think about what might happen when Thomas came back upstairs.

Just then, there was a gentle knock at the door. John froze and tried to be as quiet as possible. He knew it wasn't Thomas. Thomas didn't knock, certainly not that softly. Either way, he didn't want anyone to see him like that.

"John?"

It was Alex. John let out a sigh but stayed in bed.

"Um, I know you probably don't want to talk right now, but if you want to, I'm here to listen," he said. "And I'm gonna stay outside of your door if that's okay," he continued. "I kinda doubt you want to talk to anyone else either. So I'm here to turn them away." Alex paused. "Especially if they're gonna try to fuck on your bed."

John smiled a little. He got up and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, then slumped down against the door.

"I appreciate that," he said quietly. John heard Alex turn quickly at the sound of his voice.

"Hey," Alex said softly through the door. "How are you feeling?"

John coughed lightly.

"My head hurts a little," he said. "It's okay though. I'm just being dumb and whiny," he laughed.

"No you're not," Alex said back. "Who told you that?"

There was silence.

"John. Who told you that?"

Alex listened intently through the door and heard John sob quietly.

"Is it okay if I come in?" he asked.

"No," John said quickly. "Um- can- can we go to your room?"

"Of course."

Alex stood up and waited patiently. Two minutes later, John opened the door. He was staring at the ground and had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. His outfit looked disheveled and his makeup was runny.

"Let's go," he said softly, pulling the blanket tighter around him. "But I need to be back to the room by 1."

Alex nodded slowly, walking down the hall with John. He didn't want to bring John back to the room to a drunk Thomas at 1, but he wasn't about to protest and scare John back into his room when he needed support.

They arrived at Alex's room. John stood in the corner awkwardly and Alex sat down on his bed.

"Do you want to sit next to me?" he asked, patting the spot beside him. John nodded slowly, and took a seat on the bed, but further away from Alex.

After a few minutes of quiet, Alex spoke again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

John shook his head quickly. He felt the tears welling up in his eyes again and tried to hold them back. It was embarrassing enough to have Alex see him like that. He didn't want to start sobbing in front of him.

There was another pause.

"My dad used to be like that too," Alex said quietly. "He drank too much too often and made some bad decisions."

John was quiet for a second. He moved a little closer to Alex.

"I just want him to be okay," he said, as a singular tear streaked his face. "I know he's not a bad person deep down. He just... went the wrong way at some point."

Alex was quiet. He could tell that John was trying to open up.

"He used to be really nice," he whispered, looking down at his hands. "And then he just... wasn't anymore." John tried to talk, but couldn't get out the words. Alex held out his hand. John took it and sighed.

"He hits me," he choked out as more tears ran down his cheeks. "When he's drunk. And sometimes when he's not." John looked up at the ceiling and tried to blink it all back. "And... he does other things too. But I'm pretty sure everyone assumed that anyway."

Alex felt his body grow hot with anger, but kept himself in check so as to not upset John or worry him any further.

"I just want it all to end," John whispered. "I can't stand living like this anymore." He looked up at Alex with a broken look in his eyes. "Alex? What could I have done better?"

Alex felt his heart shatter within his chest.

"John," he said, taking a deep breath, "it's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done better. You treated him with respect and love and he took it for granted to the point where he made some really bad decisions." Alex took John's other hand softly. "His decisions don't reflect on you. You are kind, and smart, and artistic, and adorable, and an amazing friend. You just got caught at the receiving end of a bad situation. But I promise, it's not your fault. And you didn't do anything wrong." John looked up through his tears. "I know it feels impossible to get out of this. And it feels impossible that it's not your fault. But he's been hurting you mentally, emotionally, and physically for years, and it conditions you to think that way. But that doesn't mean it's actually your fault."

John pulled his blanket tighter around him and leaned into Alex's lap. Alex played with John's hair gently.

"I don't think you should go back to the room tonight," Alex said quietly. John was silent. "I think you should stay the night here. And then tomorrow we can deal with it together. Not just me and you- everyone. Herc, Laf, the Schuylers, Maria- everyone. Because I promise you that way more people have your back than ones who don't."

John nodded slowly.

"It's really hard," he said softly. "But I know I need to do it."

Alex smiled slightly.

"It's not going to be easy. And it'll probably take a while to recover. But I'm here for you. And so is everyone else." He paused. "And there are some therapy sources on campus here that I think we should look into for you."

John nodded again.

"You're right," he sighed. He looked up into Alex's eyes. "Thank you for actually believing me," he whispered. "And I'm sorry I'm advance for how long it might take for me to recover."

"Shhh," Alex said, shaking his head. "I know. And you have nothing to be sorry for."

The two laid in each other's arms for the rest of the night in silence. They were both hurting. But together, it felt like home.

Safe.

WHEW. That was a lot. But it's okay! We are going to get our little John some help:) love you guys!
-Eli