Chapter 19: Singing for the Devil

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Night had fallen by the time the bomb was ready. In all the time they were working, Jo wouldn't let me leave her side.  I know she was afraid if the pain slipped in she might not be willing to go through with the plan. Her hand stayed gripped in mine for the hours that passed. No one spoke a word, and the only sound to be heard- other than the tinkering- was my voice. Soft and tragic, the words coated over everyone, taking the pain away from breaking hearts.

If only it worked on me.

When the time came, Dean looked at me for the first time since our fight. Green met brown and I nodded quickly. Understanding without speaking that he wanted to be alone with her, I stood, squeezing Jo's hand and walking away.

Over in the next aisle, Ellen was hugging Sam and I made my way to both of them. The older woman pulled away from him as I approached, turning her attention to me. "Hey, there, bean sprout." There were tears in her eyes and I suddenly knew where this was going.

"No." My eyes were wide as fear clawed inside me. The boys couldn't lose both of them. I wouldn't let it happen. "No, Ellen. Please. Let me."

She reached out and pulled me to her in a bone crushing hug. "You're sweet, Sanders, but someone's gotta open those doors, and someone's gotta watch after these boys. If I'm goin out, I'd much rather it be with my girl." She wiped a tear from my cheek that I hadn't realized had fallen. "That means you've gotta take care of our boys." She smiled sadly at Sam, and I could see the tears welling in his eyes.

"I promise."

"That a girl." She cupped my cheek and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Wish I could have known you longer, bean sprout."

Patting Sam's arm, she turned and took Dean's place beside her daughter. Jo knew what was happening, too. She was smart. More tears fell from her big brown eyes as she pleaded. "Mom. No."

"Someone's gotta open those doors. I'm with you, honey. You've got me." Ellen just smiled, grabbing onto Jo's hand.

"Ellen?" Dean asked, only now realizing what she meant.

She closed her eyes at her name. A single tear dropped down her cheek slowly. "Get going." When we stayed where we were, she finally looked our way with a sad smile settled on her face. "I said go."

Dean laid a hand on her shoulder and swallowed hard. "Come on." He told us, spinning around.

"And Dean?" Ellen called after a moment, making us stop in our tracks. Dean stood waiting desperately with his hand on the door to the stairway. "Kick its ass. Don't miss."

Silence followed her words, and I could see just how hard the decision to leave them was for the Winchesters. This was family. They were taught never to turn their back on family. Without another word, we gripped our guns and made our way to the roof. It was quick work and we were out onto the fire escape before too long. No one tried to speak. Each of us mourning in our own way, while I questioned if I even had a right to mourn. I hadn't know them like these boys had. What right did I have to feel anything at all? By the time we dropped down into the alleyway between buildings, it happened, ripping us from our thoughts.

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