Bakusquad Oneshots

A Rather Toxic Relationship (Baku/Ashido)

"Bakugouu help me."
"No." Bakugou laughs and shakes his head.
"Hmpf. Why?"
"You said that you don't want my help."
"But I want it now. Please, bakubabe. Just help your friend out, ok?"
She nearly starts crying as she looks at the spider on her bed.
"It's not even big."
"It's fucking huge. What are you talking about?" She takes the glass on her desk again to put the spider in it. Bakugou observes her shaking figure and can't stop laughing. For Bakugou the spider looks like a baby but for her it's a big fat tarantula.
As Ashido hovers over the spider the spider quickly moves and she shrieks scared and tackles Bakugou down.
"Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Please." She actually starts crying.
"Ok. Jeez." He rolls his eyes and moves to the bed.
"Take the glass."
Bakugou ignores her and just takes the spider slowly on his hand. He cups it in his palms and moves to the open window. Before letting it out the window Bakugou looks at the little spider and can't help it but find it kinda cute. It's so small. Why is she so scared? The spider is more afraid of us.
"It's gone." Bakugou turns around to his best friend and rolls his eyes as he sees her lying there like a scared little puppy.
"It's gone, princess." He says and picks her up to lay her on her bed.
"I hate you." She cries but still wraps her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist so that he can't even lay her on her bed properly.
He sighs and just holds her until she'll calm down.
"What did I do?"
"Couldn't you just take the damn spider. I told you that I'm scared."
"You're such a baby."
"I don't care. You're a meanie." She just sobs lightly.
"Ok. Stop crying now please." He slowly sways back and forth.
She sniffs softly and exhales gently.
"I still hate you."
"Don't feel special. I hate you too." He says with a calm voice.
"Fuck you."
Bakugou chuckles softly and just rubs her back.
"If a spider comes next time can you just remove it?" She asks quietly.
"Ok."
"Promise?" She removes her head from Bakugou's shoulder to face him properly.
"Yes, princess. I won't wait that long again."
"Don't wait at all, Bakugou." She hits his head.
"Ow. That's what I meant, dumbass."
"Asshat."
"Itchy sweater."
"Wet sock."
"Eww you're a wet sock, expired coupon."
"You know what? I want a cactus." Ashido says smirking.
"Why?"
"I'll name it after you cuz you're a fucking prick."
"Ok. You know what? You should start eating that make up of yours. It ain't helping you on the outside maybe it will on the inside."
Ashido gasps and jumps off of Bakugou, "You rude ass bitch." She starts hitting him.
"You started, bitch ass." He picks her up and throws her on the bed.
She immediately takes her pillow and starts hitting him with it.
He tackles her down and throws all the pillows of the bed. He hovers over her and holds her hands over her head.
"Let me go, you fat fuck." She screams and tries to wiggle out but Bakugou is hella strong of course.
He takes his other free hand and licks his thumb.
"Eww what are you doing you fucking bastard? Don't get your filthy hands near me." She screams afraid and turns her head around but it doesn't help.
Bakugou takes his thumb and wipes it over her left eyebrow.
"You did not." She whispers and closes her eyes, trying to contain her anger, "Babe. Tell me this is a dream and you didn't just ruin my eyebrows." She opens her eyes and smiles sweetly up at Bakugou.
"Who knows." He shrugs and gets quickly off her with a big mischievous smile on his face and tries to make a run but Ashido grabs his collar and pulls him back.
She locks her door and turns around slowly.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She screams and looks into the mirror.
"I thought you wanted to take it off."
"Why would I want that?" She runs her fingers through her hair and walks back and forth. Suddenly she stands still and jumps on Bakugou who was vibing on her bed observing her panicked self.
They start fighting each other.
"Oww don't scratch me with your long ass ugly nails." Bakugou hits her hands away and pushes her off the bed. But Ashido also quickly took his hand and pulls him with her. She quickly jumps on his back and turns his arm over his back.
"Ow bitch. Let me go." He tries to turn around but every little move strains his muscles.
"Will you do that again?" She asks menacingly.
"Fuck you, yes."
She pulls his arm back once again and he screams loudly.
"Will you do that again?"
"Uhm guys is everything ok there?" Tsuyu's innocent voice emits from the other side of the door.
"Yes."
"Call Aizawa-sensei. Mina's gon berzerk." Bakugou quickly calls.
"What are y'all doing? Don't tell me you're doing a WWE match again." Midoriya says worried.
"Bro, I told you it's not manly to hurt women."
"Bitch, I'm- oww you fucking bitch."
"Open the door."
"Aizawa-sensei break the door open. She won't let me go."
"Shut the fuck up, bitch. Will you fucking touch my face again?" She slaps his head.
"Yes and I won't hesitate, crazy ass."
"Ight, I hope you'll sleep with open eyes today." She says and gets off Bakugou after worrying for her door.
"I'm coming!" She says and takes the key.
Bakugou leans against her bed and huffs out in relief. He tries to move his arm but it still hurts.
"Give me your key, Mina." Aizawa holds his palm out. She gives it to him and all look curiously to Bakugou.
"Won't you give her a punishment?"
Aizawa looks at Mina and sees her abnormal gaze and shakes his head, "For all I know I wasn't even here." He turns around to his class and says.
"Where was I?" He asks.
"Not here." They all say simultaneously.
He nods pleased and disappears.
"Mina, what happened?"
"How the hell do you all worry about this crazy bitch? I'm the one who's hurt."
"Shut up, cactus." Ashido rolls her eyes and looks at his arm.
"You shut up, pink bitch. I'll never step a foot in your room again. Call someone else to get your spiders."
"Tzz, fine."
"Crazy ass."
"Musty ass."
"Dumb ass."
"Bitch ass."
"No nipple having ass."
The class observes them confused.
"What the hell is going on here?" They all ask themselves.
"What? Shut up and help me." Bakugou steps to her with a sour face. She takes his other arm and leads him to her bed again.
"What do you need?" She asks.
Both already forgetting that the class is behind them.
"Uhm is everything ok?" Ochako asks slowly, not understanding how they're talking normally again.
"Yes and now y'all get the fuck out of my room." Bakugou shouts.
"It's Mina's room." Todoroki corrects him nonchalantly.
"That's what I said, half and half."
"Let's just leave." Kirishima mumbles and closes the door.
"Do you want to go to recovery girl?" She asks while slightly massaging his arm.
"You do know that you're crazy, right?"
"You make me crazy." She shrugs indifferently with her shoulders.
"You act like I ate your fucking cookies."
"It's kinda the same, idiot."
"You know I don't think you should treat your best friend like that who always helps you and makes your day a lot better. I was here when you were in pain and needed-"
"Shut the fuck up, Bakugou." She interrupts his monologue.
"Tch, ungrateful brat."
"You're such a pussy. I didn't even hurt you that bad." She says after she points one finger at a place on his arm.
"You're one to talk. You literally were clinging to me cuz of a lil spider."
"Lil- lil spider?" She backtracks, "I thought you were teasing me when you said that. It was a fucking monstrosity."
"Uhm yeah just believe that, you little baby." Bakugou mumbles. He can't believe that Ashido is such a baby when it comes to insects.
"Bitch. Let's go to recovery girl." She says and takes his right, uninjured, hand.

"Even recovery girl said that you're a fucking monster."
"No. She said that I'm a strong women and I don't need other people's protection."
"What I said." He says and gets on his bed with his back against the headboard.
"That's not the same."
"Shut it and come here." He points his right finger at her.
"Aww do you want to cuddle your pain away?" Ashido grins and hops on Bakugou's bed.
"No, I want to strangle you."
"Stop saying that all the time, idiot." She pouts and sits besides him.
"I'm babe. Stop calling me idiot already. We don't wanna talk about your grades."
"Well I'm princess. Stop calling me bitch." She mimics and wraps her arms around her best friend.
"Ok, princess. Now give me a kiss. I'm fucking hurt because of you."
Ashido laughs amused, "You're the baby."
She cups his face between her hands and mumbles, "I'm gonna give you thousands of kisses if you never ruin my make up again."
"Tch. You should be that protective of your niece." He rolls his eyes.
"Shut the fuck up. I just lost her once."
"She was crying her fucking heart out when we found her."
"And yet she betrayed me and ran into your arms." She shakes her head.
"Well I give her my full attention when she's with me."
"Should be giving some of that attention to your mom."
"Bitch, fuck you."
"Bitch, fuck y o u."
They look each other in the eyes, waiting for the other's clapback.
"Ah shit. Let's stop, ight? I don't want to break my other arm." Bakugou says when he notices that they'll start fighting again.
"Wise decision, babe." She says and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
She embraces him again with Bakugou's head on her chest. Bakugou looks up at the ceiling just vibing.
"Your boyfriend is not a lucky bitch." He mumbles thoughtfully, slightly looking up to Mina.
"Your girlfriend neither."
"My girlfriend will be a fucking queen." Bakugou says proudly.
"Probably but you'll be just garbage."
"Ugh you're so not supportive, Mina. I don't understand how we're friends. We would be so toxic if we were in a relationship."
"Pfft. I don't wanna know how often we would on/off that shit."
"I don't wanna know how often our neighbours would call the police." Bakugou sighs.
"Damn for real though. I'm still sorry though I didn't want to hurt you that much." She says and presses a kisses on Bakugou's forehead.
"I know, nightmare."
"That's not a cute nickname, Bakugou."
"Why not? I read that good nicknames are made of characteristics or features of the person."
"I hate you for real." She sighs smiling a little.
"I hate you too." He replies, grinning and lays his hands over Mina's that are crossed over his stomach.
"Now tell me, princess. Where did you learn to beat the shit out of me like that?"
"Oh do you know the last internship we did? I was with..."