My Nonexistent Love Story/Skinny Love

#36: Everything's gonna be okay?

A bit confusing chappie, but I totally like it - there're so much useful things said :) Besides, there's a picture I couldn't put into slideshow as it should be watched as a gif (maybe some of you know - "Math tells us three love storie...")

Don't let yourself being bothered with Russian song, it's actually so perfect! Sadly there's not English version for it :/

Well, I guess that's it. Hope you enjoy :)

***

What are you doing here?" I glared at the four girls on my doorstep.

"We .. are here to help you,"

"Help?" I raised a brow.

They looked at each others.

"I'm gonna be okay. Correction: I am okay,"

"Listen, we just wanted to throw a girls' night," Chantal said softly and raised her sleeping bag.

I sighed. "Okay, come in,"

Of course I wanted to be alone. But one does not simply send her besties away at night just because of her will. 

"Caro, you need to admit it to at least yourself, you're not okay," Chantal said, after they'd put their things away.

"How did you know?" I asked, resigning and closing my eyes.

"It's just that we see how you're looking at Jason and ..."

"At this point I don't even care anymore ..  about Jason and .. other things that are related with him,"

"That's what you tell yourself. But that's not true, you and I both know it,"

"We're too different .. he said it by himself. People like me don't belong with people like him anyway. Besides .. I don't miss him,"

"How many times can you fake a smile while all your friends are talking about their boyfriends/crushes and say you're fine without him? You act like nothing's wrong when you're just fighting the tears from streaming down your face. Everyone has a breaking point, so admit that you can't do this alone .. that you miss him .. and just cry. Trust me, it is okay. We're here to comfort you,"

"Maybe I should learn not to get too .. attached?"

"I don't think you can do anything 'bout that. Even if going back to an old love is stupid. It's like reading a book over and over again when you already know how it ends,"

"You know I constantly reread two of my favorite book sagas?"

Alasia sent me a glare.

"I know," I let my head fall. "But it's like .. once you love a person, you'll alwats love them regardless. No matter what happened between you two in the past, you still love them. You loved them before, you love them now, and you'll always love them. Maybe you no longer see them as .. your significant other or something; but you still love them and care for them the same way. It's either you loved them and always will, or you never did in the first place. First, in my case. Though .. I still have a hope for that 'forever together' thing. I can't imagine my life without him. I love him blindly and recklessly. Even if it consumes me,"

"It's sounds so slushy," Michelle stated.