Before Us (Kelly Severide Love Story)

Superhero

"I WATCH SUPERMAN FLY AWAY, COME BACK, I'LL BE WITH YOU SOMEDAY, I'LL BE RIGHT HERE ON THE GROUND" 

"Try not to get into trouble today," Ryan comments as soon as I walk down the stairs, ready to get to work for my first shift since being suspended. 

Things have been awkward between all three of us since Jess found out that I kissed Jesse. On the bright side, it seems like we are getting back to normal and pretending that it never happened. 

As far as they are concerned, Jesse and I are never going to be back together. They don't know about his proposal and they don't know that I haven't turned him down yet.

This suspension came at a good time because at least it gave me time to re-think every decision I have made since Jesse came back into my life. He brings out the worst in me, the crazy and reckless side. 

But he also brings out the happy side of me.

Technically the only reason we broke up was because he didn't want me to be a firefighter and he didn't believe in forever. But now, he accepts the fact that I am a firefighter and he wants forever with me again.

How can I say no when this is all I have ever wanted?

"I'll try" I break out of my thoughts, grabbing my stuff and going outside to my car, driving to the firehouse. 

Leaving, I get into my car and drive to the firehouse. 

*

Parking outside the firehouse, I take a moment to prepare myself for the awkwardness since everyone knows why I was suspended. I can't go in there all messed up in the head, I have to show that it doesn't bother me. 

"Look who it is!" Cruz greets me when I walk in, "I swear you spend more time away from this place than here" he jokes, "okay, you going to give me a hug or not?" I roll my eyes as he laughs, pulling me in for a tight hug.

"You doing okay? Since the whole Jesse thing" He brings up when we pull away, trying to understand what possessed me to run into that building for Jesse after the history between him and I and the horrible way he treated me when he ended our engagement.

"Yeah, I'm good" I force a smile, "just ready to get back to work" he buys my act, "good because the equipment is looking kind of dirty" he points out. 

"I'm on it" I nod before sneaking into the firehouse, I notice everyone in the living area but they don't notice me because of how quiet I am being. I make my way to the lockers and start to get changed. 

"When did you get back?" Kidd walks over, ruining my plan of trying to be undetected.

"Just now" I nod, "first shift back" I reply.

"I know it isn't my place," Kidd starts, "but they shouldn't blame you at all for what you did" she reassures me. "It must have been hard seeing him in there with all that fire and you just acted on your impulse to save someone you love" she is probably the only person that sees it from my perspective.

"Yeah" I take her words on board, "but no surprise that my impulses always get me in trouble" I sigh.

"Hang in there" she pats my back before turning to leave.

It gets me thinking that maybe Kidd is the only person I can talk to about this. She understands what I am going through and she will not judge me for it.

"Wait! Hold on a second" I call her back, "what's up?" She walks back over.

"Can I tell you something? Like something really important?" I am about to burst, I need to talk to someone.