Million Dollar Bills

31//

*Marco De Luca POV*

I feel stupid for crying but I love Addison. And she loves me. We've been kissing for god knows how long.

There's a little whining sound and we pull apart. "Fabian's awake" Addison mutters. I look down at Fabian who is squirming and whining, looking very grumpy.

Fabian starts crying in my arms and Addison takes him from me. "It's okay baby" She coos at him. He settles down in her arms and I am surprised. He never settles down so quickly.

I realise now how much I have missed of my sons life. "Marco, I need to tell you a couple of things" Addison says, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "Okay, go ahead"

"Okay...I'm pregnant" She whispers. I freeze and she bites her lip. "That's great! Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I frown. "I was going to tell you at the dinner on our honeymoon..." She trails off.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should have let you go first" I mutter. "If you had, would you still have told me about Beth?" She questions. "Absolutely, I knew I needed to tell you. Dr Reuben was the one who finally convinced me to"

"Well, I'll have to thank Dr Reuben later" She says, smiling gently. "I've been seeing him regularly. He's going to run a few tests on me, he thinks I've got something. Like Bipolar disorder or something similar"

"Is it bad?" She asks. "I don't think so, but we won't know for sure until he finds out what it is" I tell her. She nods, "Okay, when are you being tested?" "In a couple of days or so" I reply.

"Can I come?" She asks. "Please do, I don't want to go alone" I admit. He smiles at me and leans forward and kisses me gently. "I love you, either way" She whispers.

.

.

.

"Okay, Marco, take a seat. Addison, you can seat over here if you'd like" Dr Reuben says, pointing to a seat next to him. Addison seats down in it and I sit across from them.

"Well, thank you for coming Addison. It's important for Marco to have a support person during this time" He says. "That's okay, I wanted to come" She replies.

Fabian is with my parents while we're here. I didn't think a toddler would have the attention span to stay quiet long enough for these tests. "Okay, shall we begin?" Dr Reuben asks.

"Yes, of course" I reply. "Do you often do one or more of the following: drive recklessly, engage in unsafe sex, abuse alcohol or drugs, binge eat, gamble or spend money recklessly?"

"Yes" "When you're stressed out - especially if someone has abandoned you - do you get very paranoid, feel yourself "spacing out" or dissociating?"

"Yes" I squirm about in my seat. "Do you sometimes get very angry, extremely sarcastic and bitter, and feel like you have a hard time controlling this anger?" "Yes, all the time" I reply.

"Have you recently engaged in self-mutilating, self-harm, or suicidal behaviors, gestures or threats?" "No"

"Okay. Do you often experience a sudden shift in the way you look at yourself and your life, and completely change your goals, values and career focus?"

"Sometimes" "Are you often afraid that others will abandon or leave you - so you'll make frantic efforts to avoid this abandonment?" "I suppose"

"Can your mood shift between extreme periods of anxiety, depression or irritability in just a few hours or days?" "Yes, definitely"

"Does your views of others - especially those you care about - shift dramatically and without any warning?" "Yes"

"Would you say most of your romantic relationships have been very intense - but not very stable?" "Uh, yes I guess so"

"Lastly, are you currently experiencing enough problems in this area of your life that it's negatively impacting your ability to go to work, be with friends or family, or have a romantic relationship?"

"Yes, I'm definitely struggling with my romantic relationship right now" I mutter. "Okay, Marco. All finished" He says, scribbling down some notes in a file.

"No more questions?" I ask worriedly. I don't want to answer anymore questions. "No, no more. I've come to a conclusion" He states.

He looks to Addison, "I believe my assumption was correct. He does in fact have BPD" Addison frowns

"BPD? What the hell is that?" I question. Dr Reuben sighs and hands me a piece of paper.

"This is your prescription. I'll have your medication ready tomorrow, so you'll have to come by and pick it up. You can ask me any questions then and we'll discuss the matter further"

"Also we'll be doing therapy five times a month" He says. Addison thanks him and we stand to leave. "I think that went well" Addison mumbles.