Love Me Back // Elmax Fanfiction

Chapter 33 ~ She's Been... Fragile, Lately

TRIGGER WARNING: VERBAL ABUSE, PANIC ATTACK(idk if that needs a tw but i'm adding it anyway-), MENTION OF R*PE

Today is the day. Today is the fucking day. I get to see Eleven Jane Hopper today. It has been exactly 111 days since I've seen her.
I'm not joking.
3 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days.
Here's my plan: my mom is taking me home at 10 this morning. I know exactly where I've put my walkie. Once we arrive back at home, I'll bring my things up to my room, get everything unpacked, you know. I didn't want my mom to be suspicious, so I'd have a big lunch and then leave a note on my door saying that I needed some alone time and that I wasn't hungry for dinner. After that, I'd lock my bedroom door, grab my walkie, and sneak out the window. Then, I'd head to El's house, and when I got there, I'd call her on the walkie and tell her to come outside.
I just had to hope for a good outcome.
I carried my suitcase out of my room and to the elevator, following my mother, my friends trailing behind me. We all filed into it and Violet pushed the button for the bottom floor— the lobby. She looked back at me and I flashed her a sad smile. It was 100% genuine; I was really sad to leave them, but at least I had their home phone numbers and the number of the phone in Cameron's hospital room. And I'd see them again.
We reached the bottom floor and the elevator doors slid open. Making my way to the exit, I turned on my heel and set my bag down by my feet. Violet allowed Cameron to approach me first, and he wrapped his arms around me. I reciprocated his actions. As he pulled away, he said, "See ya later, Max." I could tell her was trying not to cry, and I gave him a sad but reassuring smile before he took a few steps back, allowing Violet to come in.
My connection with her was a lot deeper; other then El, she was my only female friend, and El I had feelings for. So it was different. I'd never had a friendship like this, and I don't think she had either. She stood in front of me. I could easily spot the tears welling up in her eyes, and could tell that she was afraid to hug me in fear of really starting to cry, but deep down I knew that she wanted to hug me and not let go. So, I hugged her anyway. She instantly wrapped her arms around my neck, and I could hear her crying. "I'm sorry, Vi. But we're gonna see each other before you know it, alright? And you have my home number, so you can call me any time. I'll answer it as often as I can, which I promise will be often. I won't leave you, ok?" I knew she had abandonment issues from our many rant sessions, so I knew I needed to make that clear. I rubbed her back comfortingly. I pulled away gently, seeing as my mom let out a sigh that said "you're being dramatic, let's go already." I stood relatively close to her, but not so close that it was weird, my hands resting on the back of her neck. It was purely platonic both ways; neither of us thought twice about this kind of thing. "Pinky swear?" I whispered, holding my pinky out to her. Unable to speak, she just nodded, holding hers out as well. We linked our fingers and a few tears slipped down her face as a sob escaped her lips. I reached out and wiped the tears off her face with my thumbs, even though it was no use. "I love you," I let out, a few tears escaping my eyes as well.
"I love you too," her voice broke, pulling me back in for one more hug.
"I'll call tomorrow, k?" I mumbled into her shoulder before pulling away once again. If I didn't, I don't think she ever would. She nodded wordlessly, trying and failing to give me a final smile before Cameron wrapped his arm around her neck. They turned to walk away, and I watched as they went, a few more tears slipping down my cheeks. Cameron turned and waved, and I waved back, laughing sadly.
"Alright, enough of your fucking pity party, let's go," my mother said coldly, walking out.
I wanted to scream. But I didn't.

At Max's Home
I walked through the front door of my house.
Immediately, I wanted to run. Obviously, though, I didn't.
I played it off as if everything was fine, trying not to look towards the couch, where Neil had hit me with his beer bottle. I tried not to let the stairs haunt me, remembering being dragged up them as I screamed. I made my way quickly up the stairs, and didn't even look at my mother's bedroom door. I threw my bag on my bed and ran into my room, slamming the door behind me.
I paced the floor as my breath caught in my throat. I tried and tried to breathe, but I couldn't. I felt slightly lightheaded, and gasped for air, only to cough. I sat down on the end of my bed, desperately trying to get ahold of my breath. My heart was beating at a million miles per hour. It felt like I was having a heart attack.
I'd felt this way before. I was having a fucking panic attack.
I tried to take deep breaths, as this was how I usually comforted myself when this happened. I closed my eyes and put my hands over my ears.
In, out.
In, out.
In, out.
I continued this for a while, until I no longer felt like I was suffocating, and began to put my things away. I was still a little spooked, but I needed to get this done.
     Just as I began to put my clothes into my dresser, my mother called me for lunch. Afraid I'd have another panic attack, I yelled, "Could you bring it up here?"
     I got no response, but just as I was about to head downstairs, she brought up a sandwich on a plate. "Thanks," I thanked her as she slammed the door in my face. Ugh. I gobbled up my lunch as I unpacked, in a hurry. I wanted as much time with El as possible.
     That is, assuming she even wanted to see me.
     I was still skeptical about this, but I had to try.
Luckily, I hadn't had many of my possessions at the hospital— they all fit into one duffel bag— so I was done quickly. I brought my dish downstairs, staring at my feet the whole time. After rinsing my dish, I put it into the dishwasher and zipped back up my stairs, skipping a step with each bound. Excitedly, I scribbled "I'm going to go to bed early. I don't want any dinner" onto a piece of paper and taped it to my door. I grabbed my walkie, pajamas, and skateboard, opened my window, and jumped out. I ran a little ways into the woods before turning on the radio and signaling Lucas. "Sup Lucas, do you copy? Over." Glee filled my voice.
     "Madmax, sup! So you're home now, huh? Over."
     I grinned. "Yup! Are Will and Joyce out? Over."
     "Just like you asked! Joyce is at work, and I told Will what was up, so he went over early to Mike's house. He said he wanted 'boy time' to El, though, so she might be upset. She's been... fragile, lately. Over."
     The grin on my face disappeared. It's because of me, isn't it? I put on a fake smile, despite him not being able to see me, and responded, "Thanks Lucas! You're the best. See you at Mike's tonight! I can't wait! Over and out." I turned off my radio, jumping with joy and anticipation. I was sleeping over at Mike's tonight, and everyone but Eleven knew. Just how I wanted it.
     I ran to the road and dropped my skateboard, jumping on and skating over to the Byers' as quickly as I humanly possible.

I know, sorry it didn't happen this chapter :/ it woulda been too long, and also I just enjoy to torture you(/hj). I also apologize for a bit of a shorter chapter, and another pretty uneventful one.

I have been getting quite a bit of attention on this book lately, so thank you so much for that. I really really appreciate it. I'm thinking about ending this book soon, although if I do I think I'll do a sequel or whatever(FUTURE EIGHT HERE: i might but i probably won't 😭 like i want to but i do not have the motivation to so sorry </3 /g). Again, there's another story I'd like to do but I'm have massive writer's block, which is a serious pain in the ass.

But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always, I love you guys a lot.

word count: 1500

-eight