Max has been feeling really odd around her best friend, El. She loves her more than she's ever loved anyone or anything, ever- as a friend, of course.
These feelings are crushing Max to pieces, and she doesn't know what to do about it.
*(Guys, they'...
Max I sat on my roof, longingly looking down. I didn't want to die; I just wanted everything to stop. I can't do this anymore. Tears begin to flood out of my eyes, freezing my face. It was cold out, as it was still February. It's the day after I confessed my feelings for the very first time. To Eleven. Not even to one of the boys. To the one the feelings were for. She probably really hated me by now. I mean, she probably hated me before. I think I've just made it worse by this point. The boys probably all know, and they're probably at Mike's house right now, talking about what a dyke I am, how I'm a horrible person and I've just been a jerk for the past 4 or 5 months, and how they all hate me. I'd bet a million bucks that Eleven and Mike are kissing each other all happily, as if to shove it in my face, even though I'm not even there. And Lucas. He's probably super pissed, and he's going to come over later and yell at me because I used him. He'll call me a dyke and break up with me. Neil will probably hear, and he'll throw me against the wall and maybe actually do what he always threatens. I shudder at the thought. Then I guess he'll kick me out, and I'll really be completely worthless, if I'm not already. God, this is terrifying. Maybe I should just jump right now. I'll die before they can do anything to me or hurt me any more. It's not like anybody would care, I thought. Could I even die from jumping off my little house? Probably not. All this thinking about things is making me really upset. I begin to stand up; I felt a strong urge to slit my thighs. It's gives me some feeling, and it isn't the crush I have on El or the crushing feeling of reality. As I get to my feet, I see somebody walking down the street. No, it can't be, I thought. But it was. Eleven Jane Hopper, the last person I wanted to see right now. Or maybe ever. Is she going to come call me a dyke now, too? I think about scurrying down the roof to my window and pretending like nobody's home, so she'll go away, but I know she's already seen me. Fuck. I scramble nervously down the roof. It was quite difficult to do, because my hands were bruised and had many gaping wounds all over them. They were probably going to get infected, too, because the cuts were wielded from my fingernails, which were exactly the opposite of clean. I hop down from the roof, doing my best to put on my "I'm fine" face. I'm pretty sure I'm failing. I stand in my lawn, awaiting Eleven to walk up to me and slap me with her words. Maybe I'll stop having a crush on her, I thought. Ehh, probably not. She walked up to me and stood there, saying nothing and looking me in the eyes. Her gaze almost hurt; I felt my eyes stinging. Not when she's right in your face, you idiot, I told myself. "Can you please get on with it?" I said, intending for it to sound angry. It ended up sounding more like a plead for mercy. She sat there for a moment, still staring. I tried to shoot her a look, but I'm pretty sure my face most likely just looked like I was trying to be confused. I quietly sighed. Why am I so pathetic? "I-I..." El finally started. God, get this torture over with. "What does it feel like?" "W-What?" I questioned, taken by surprise. "To... to have a crush on me?" Eleven said quietly. I froze for a moment. Why would she want to know that? "Well- um-" I stuttered. I'd felt this feeling so vividly for months and months now, yet it was extremely difficult to describe. I thought for a moment, and then said, "It's sorta like, when you smile or laugh or touch me, butterflies." I could tell she was confused with that, so I continued, "It feels like butterflies are erupting in my chest, and it's almost as if they're trying to escape. That's how it feels." I thought I was done, but apparently I wanted to add on, because I said, "And I could just get lost in your dark, beautiful eyes for eternities..." I trailed off. At the mention of El's eyes, I was now longingly staring into them. Then I realized that I just called her eyes beautiful. Right in front of her. "I-I'm sorry El, I didn't mean to-" I was unable to move my mouth to form the words. Literally. It felt like the same force that has thrown me off my skateboard in the gym that day with Mike. Back when everything was normal, I thought. Or, I guess normal-ish. I mean, my new friends had a friend with telekinesis, and, although we didn't know it at the time, there were demidogs probably surrounding us in every direction. Just then I realized it must have been Eleven herself who was keeping my mouth shut. She spoke. "I... I think I like you, too," she whispered. The instant the words came out of her mouth, I could feel my eyes stinging, and before I could stop myself there were several tears running down my cheeks. The second she saw them, El engulfed me in a massive hug. After a couple minutes of the two of us hugging, I managed to choke out, "But how?" "I-I just thought it was normal to feel those kinds of feelings when you had a friend who's a girl. I guess I've felt similar with Mike, but I assumed that's what everybody feels when they have friends who are girls," El explained. My face had faltered at the mention of Mike, but we were still hugging, so El couldn't see it. "B-But," I stuttered, having trouble understanding the whole thing, as well as getting words out when I was crying so hard. "H-How can you l-like such a m-mean, pathetic person like m-me?" My voice broke at the end of the sentence. I wanted to add that I was hideous, but the lump in my throat was so large that air could barely get into my lungs. "You are not pathetic or mean!" El protested. "Maybe you've been a bit... distant, lately, but... I understand why, now. I just didn't understand what I was feeling. But now I do." She paused to rub my back, shushing me gently. "Are you ok?" I began to nod into the crook of her neck, but I paused. Maybe, I thought, I can be honest now. Changing my mind about the nodding, I shook my head and allowed her to pull away from me and look into my eyes. Well, more like look at my eyes. I was staring at the ground, ashamed of how weak I was, despite what El had said. "What's wrong?" Everything, I wanted to say. I just shook my head again. I didn't think I could explain everything and honestly, I didn't really want to. I was ashamed of how I'd let El unconsciously tear me to pieces; I definitely did not want her to see my cuts, either. Just then, I realized that I probably looks awful. I'd cut my thighs this morning and didn't bother to wash my hands. They were bloody, not only from that, but from how hard I'd dug my finger nails into palms last night. They were dark shades of purple from banging them on the wall, as well. My hair was probably a mess; I hadn't bothered brushing it that morning, and my face was probably filthy and disgusting, as that hadn't been washed, either. Subconsciously, I reached up to my head to smooth my hair out. "Sorry, I just— It's a lot," I stuttered, not lying. I wanted to add on, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Eleven Jane Hopper has a crush on me. What is this madness? "You're just saying this to... to somehow get me in another way, aren't you?" I coldly asked. There was no way she actually liked me. I acted all tough and mad, but deep down, I was hurting. She looked at me, confused. Thinking she was playing stupid, I gave her an are you kidding me? look and backed up a step. "You know what, El? Since I know you hate me and I'm not gonna fall for some stupid game, could you please cut to the part where you yell at me and call me names? I have places to be. So could you please just get on with it?" At the beginning of my short rant, I had sounded angry to the bone and tough, but I barely squeaked out the last sentence. It sounded like I was pleading for mercy; I hated it. By "place to be," I meant on the roof of some tall building or on a high bridge. I couldn't take it anymore. Suddenly, fat tears welled up in Eleven's eyes. Why is she crying? I thought. "Max, I don't hate you. Why would I hate you or yell at you? I have a crush on you, Max. I don't understand," she whimpered. I knew she just didn't understand because she'd been locked up most her life— but wait. If she really did hate me, she'd understand just fine. I looked into the eyes of this beautiful, kind girl who I loved so dearly. I don't think she'd ever turn her back on me like that. And she's a terrible liar; she looked pretty serious to me. I pushed those thoughts out of my head. It was thoughts like those that made me get my hopes up, all to be led to disappointment. After staring into her eyes for a second, I choked, "Why me?" Her eyes softened. To my honest surprise, she seemed to completely understand what I was asking about. I still couldn't comprehend this beauty standing in front of me liking Maxine Mayfield. Ew. Her hand reached up to touch my cheek, and a chill jolted down my spine. "Because this isn't really you. The Max I know is witty, smart, and sweet. Also really cute." "Are you saying I'm not cute right now?" I joked, weakly smiling a bit, before bursting into tears as if a dam had suddenly broken. El was quick to grab me again and pull me close, rocking me. For the first time in 6-8 months, I actually felt okay.
Thanks for reading! Isn't this exciting? Elmax is finally blooming!
Also, remember when I said I had writers block? I thought I did, and then an idea was sparked and I wrote 3 chapters lol.
Again, I hate to be this person, but if you enjoyed this chapter I'd love for you to give it a vote! If you didn't, then... you can leave a comment expressing your utter fury. Lol. Love you guys!
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^OML PEOPLE HOW IS THIS A THING?! THANK YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH!!(don't judge me, I expected to get like 30 views maximum)(I made this a while ago, and now there are more views, but I'm just going to leave this here. Tysm!)
PS- I'm sure you've been binge reading Wattpad books for a while now, so maybe go and drink some water and have a snack. Also, what time is it? You might have school tomorrow, or something else that's extremely important, so maybe you should get to bed. You need your sleep! Have a good morning, day, or evening. Thanks again for reading! <3
